I guess we’ll never know with absolute certainty why Bugsy Siegel got whacked, but one of the leading theories is that the Sicilian mafia ran out of patience waiting for him to make money operating his Las Vegas casino. Of course, had he lived, he might have been able to turn his losses into a boon. He could have avoided paying income taxes for the next twenty years, got a reality show where he could pretend to be the best businessman in the country, fake-fired a hundred or so people, and run for president as the only man in existence who could fix all our problems.

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