Meanwhile, in an Alternate Universe . . .

Outgoing House Speaker Paul Ryan makes the following announcement:

Over the past 15 months, our nation has become more divided than at any time in memory.  Entitlement and grievance have become the chief motivators of public policy, while rage and invective have replaced respectful and reasoned discussion of our differences.  As the leader of the Republican caucus in the House of Representatives, I must accept a significant portion of responsibility for that.  However, such transgressions are not solely the fault of Republicans.

There is plenty of blame to go around.

However, it has become obvious to me and to my colleagues on both sides of the aisle, as well as in the Senate, that the path America is on currently is tearing it apart.  The time has come for our leaders to lead our country to a place where our policies are the product of established facts, honest expression of opinion, and good-faith compromise.

The first step in this new direction has to be the removal from office of President Donald Trump, who, in addition to personifying everything that is currently wrong with our public discourse, is clearly guilty of a staggering number of high crimes and misdemeanors.  He needs to be removed from office immediately, but Congress will not initiate impeachment proceedings at this time, for the following two reasons:

  1. The Trump administration, including Vice President Pence, is corrupt all the way to the ground.  Simply impeaching Donald Trump isn’t enough to put America back on course.
  2. When President Trump is replaced, his successor should be selected by the American people, and not by anyone in the current administration or Congress.

For these reasons, and after much deliberation, both the Democratic and Republican members of Congress make the following promises to the American people:

  1. On January 3, 2019, immediately upon their swearing-in, the House of Representatives of the 116th Congress will initiate impeachment proceedings against President Donald Trump and Vice President Mike Pence.
  2. Within 2 weeks, the U.S. Senate will initiate the trials of Donald Trump and Mike Pence.  Given their records, removal from office is assured.
  3. With both the offices of President and Vice President vacant, the then-Speaker of the House of Representatives will assume the office of President, and select a nominee for the office of Vice President for the consideration of the U.S. Congress.

The practical consequence of these promises is that, by February 3, 2019, the Speaker of the House at that time will become our next president.  What this means for the American voter is that they will effectively be selecting this president when they vote for a member of Congress in November.

Obviously, these promises are not binding on future members of Congress.  But all members of the 115th Congress strongly encourage those running for House and Senate seats this fall to publicly make this promise, and we urge voters not to vote for any candidate who refuses to make it.

Because in the end, the future of America depends on you, the voters.

We urge you to educate yourselves, and others, about the issues.  We urge you to refrain from personal attacks and empty rhetoric, and to reject any candidate who offers these.  And even though it is more challenging than ever to separate fact from spin from outright lies and distortion, we urge you to take the time to find the truth.  Because America has no more time for hate and divisiveness.  The problems we face are too important to waste any more time with lies.

As a Congress, we realize that we have shirked our duty to America for too long.  That ends today.  And every American, whether Republican or Democrat; whether black, white, Asian or Hispanic; whether Muslim, Christian, Jew or atheist; from ages 18 to 118, needs to do their duty in November and make an informed vote for America’s future.

(NOTE: I wrote this before I saw what Booman wrote earlier today.  I like his story better, because it’s 100,000 times more likely to happen.)