Image: Matt Johnson

An embattled President Donald Trump on Sunday had a full-fledged meltdown that culminated in a call for another civil war if he’s not re-elected.

It is a preposterous, self-pitying statement on its face—but it makes me wonder. Who, exactly, would march, fight, and presumably die to preserve the Union prop up Trump’s flagging presidency—because it wouldn’t be about saving the country. There are PLENTY of people, and not all northerners or Democrats, who would be only too happy to let the old Confederate states leave. Ever since Trump was elected, I’ve seen tons of jokes saying “let’s build a wall—along the Mason Dixon Line” and “maybe we can join up with Canada.”

Seriously, who would send their sons and daughters, or put their own lives on the line, for the likes of Donald Trump and his disgusting family, Steven Miller, or the Conways? I mean, right now the president is essentially shrieking on Twitter, dropping an all-caps tirade about whistleblower laws that drips with panic and flop-sweat. Does that inspire confidence in his strong and steady leadership?

I think most people would wave a not-so-fond farewell. And in my fondest imagination, the northeast, the Pacific northwest, California, and even a few northern midwest states respond with “fuck it” and become part of Canada. You can’t have a civil war if the folks you’re ostensibly fighting just wave it off and say “nah, you go do you.”

Y’all can have Ohio though. I don’t need your civil war.

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