I’ve never heard of Dave Daubenmire before today, but he’s a world class wanker:

Dave Daubenmire hosts the “Pass The Salt Live” webcast, a radical conservative program where he regularly attacks progressives and liberals (and showers President Donald Trump with adoration). On Monday’s broadcast, Daubenmire suggested that the performances by J.Lo and Shakira were too provocative, and should have come with a warning before airing.

Watch him pretend it was his son’s erection that concerned him:

“Would that halftime show, would that have been rated PG? Were there any warnings that your 12-year-old son — whose hormones are just starting to operate — was there any warning that what he was going to see might cause him to get sexually excited?”

The poor man was titillated during the Super Bowl halftime show and now he’s worried that God will punish him with eternal damnation:

“Could I go into a courtroom and say, ‘Viewing what you put on that screen put me in danger of hellfire’? Could the court say, ‘That doesn’t apply here because the right to [produce] porn overrides your right to [not] watch it’?”

There’s only one solution:

The conservative host also claimed he and others could sue the NFL for putting on a halftime show that, in his words, is “keeping me from getting into the kingdom of Heaven.”

And he’s looking for help:

“You can’t just do that. I want to sue [the NFL] for about $867 trillion.”

Daubenmire appeared to be serious about his threats to sue, too, as he posted on Facebook after the broadcast, asking for a lawyer who would be interested in filing a class-action suit against the NFL, Pepsi, and his local cable provider.

Personally, I enjoyed the halftime show almost as much as Daubamire, and for the same reasons. But I don’t feel guilty about it.

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