Since the turn of the 21st Century, there have been four events that caused me to suffer depression to the point that I didn’t want to get out of bed. The first was the attacks of September 11, 2001. The second was the election of Donald Trump. The third was Russia’s invasion of Ukraine. And the fourth was Hamas’ October 7, 2023 attacks on Israel.

In each of these cases, I immediately realized that something truly catastrophic had occurred, but that the real problem was how the world was going to respond. It hasn’t helped that I caught a lingering cold from my son in early October, but my energy levels have been staggeringly low for nearly a month. I think the current crisis in the Middle East may be the worst of the four events, simply because I don’t know what to say.

The discussion of a cease fire is a good example. Currently, Israel is still under sustained rocket attack both from Gaza and from Lebanon. Hamas is holding hundreds of hostages in tunnels that are accessed below densely-populated neighborhoods. The security fence and Iron Dome system that were supposed to provide security for Israelis proved wholly inadequate. The leadership of the country is completely discredited on every level and yet remains in power. The people demand justice and that security be provided somehow. I can’t see how a cease fire is realistic under these circumstances.

Yet, what Israel is attempting to do is almost incomprehensible in scope. It wants to move a million people from the north of Gaza to the South so that it can dismantle 300 kilometers of tunnels and kill anyone who wants to put up a fight. In the meantime, they are destroying the homes and infrastructure those northern Gazans depend upon, which will leave them nothing to return to. And when they’re done with the north, they’ll turn to the south, which is also being methodically destroyed.

And this is all happening in a closed box. No one is allowed to exit the kill zone. The only thing that might stop this humanitarian catastrophe is also unrealistic. Hamas could release the hostages and surrender en masse. They initiated this phase of the conflict and they can save their own people by taking responsibility. But that’s not going to happen.

That really leaves the United States as the only entity that can possibly restrain Israel, but what should the U.S. recommend? Is it going to force Israel to accept a status quo where Hamas remains in their tunnels holding hostages and lobbing rockets at them incessantly? I don’t know that the U.S. could convince the Israelis even under threat of losing aid and support.

And yet the U.S. simply can’t sustain its support of Israel under conditions as they’re unfolding because the human toll is far too great. As Israel moves into Gaza City, the civilian death toll is going to go off the charts. With the collapse of the hospital system, lack of fuel, electricity, food, water and shelter, hundreds of thousands of Palestinians could perish.

It’s incomprehensible to me that Benjamin Netanyahu is allowed to preside over this after everything he stands for has been proved a complete moral and strategic failure. To me, that’s the starting point. The impossibility of restoring security to Israel without committing unspeakable atrocities in the process is the iron-clad proof of this. Thinking Hamas was an asset to Israel because the terrorist group gave them a ready excuse not to negotiate for a Palestinian state was short-sighted, cynical and deeply immoral. Gobbling up the West Bank likewise was the ultimate in bad faith. Israel needs to throw out the leaders who brought them this catastrophe and get serious about a negotiated settlement.

But, again, how do you negotiate with Hamas?

The rocket fire needs to stop. The hostages need to be returned. Israel needs the space to get their breath and reset.

But all I see is more excuses for why no one can do the right thing. And that’s why I just want to spend all my time sleeping.