So where exactly does Alberto Gonzales’s resignation leave the universe? Was it just his time? Was he just worn out? Most people, including myself, thought he had this beat and was just going to remain lying around the White House like the barely functional but tolerated piece-o-shit “Presidential embarassing relative” Billy Carter/Roger Clinton jagoff he was. But as with Karl Rove’s departure, the real question is “Why?”
And even that breaks down into multiple questions. What were his motivations for choosing to leave at all? Why announce now? What changed between a few weeks ago and today? (And as Wonkette points out, who the hell in Washington blows a perfectly good Friday Night News Dump by sitting on it until Monday?) Something was going on with Rove leaving. Something even more sinister may be going on with Gonzo leaving too.
There are several theories: He left for the private sector, he left because Rove did, he was forced out because Rove’s departure meant he had no purpose, he left one step ahead of the hammer falling…or is it something else?
The obvious answer: What changed was that Karl Rove resigned. Alberto Gonzales’s only purpose for drawing breath in the Washington DC zip code was to cover Karl Rove’s ass. But Rover left, and that means without a Karl Rove to cover, there was zero reason to keep Alberto around.
This seems to lend a lot of credence to the theory that Rove was originally run out of town just ahead of the investigation that would have nailed him.
Like President Bush’s top political adviser, Attorney General Alberto Gonzales resigned to avoid encroaching Congressional investigations, a fired federal prosecutor said Monday.
During an appearance on CNN, former US Attorney David Iglesias said Gonzales’s resignation is “absolutely linked with Karl Rove leaving two weeks ago,” and speculated the two resigned “for the same reason”: Congressional investigators closing in on their suspected roles in the attorney-firing scandal.
“This is what happens when there is not check and balance” under a Republican-controlled Congress and White House “and all of a sudden you have a new sheriff in town – so to speak – that wants answers to hard questions.”
But I don’t buy this one. Not at all. It makes sense on the surface, but if you look at it, it’s a red herring.
I especially don’t buy the “new sheriff in town” bit. The Dems have been beating up on Alberto for four months. The perjury accusation had mostly died out with the recess, and even then Bush was adamantly standing stock still on Gonzales.
I do however buy the Rove angle. In fact, it’s the only thing that make even an ounce of sense. This theory goes something like, oh, some kind of back room deal was cut between Bush/Cheney/Rove and the Democrats that allowed Rove to walk, that part of the deal was that Alberto was offered up on a platter. Both sides wanted him gone, so it was a foregone conclusion that it was part on the deal.
But what did the Democrats really have on Rove? Bush has gone out of his way, even in Gonzo’s departure, to be a petulant son of a bitch. He clearly resisted this and so did Gonzales, and by all means Gonzo had at least cleared the hurdle of Labor Day and was well on his way to staying past the point of a resignation…remember the Rove excuse that Andy Card said all the people leaving the ship has to disembark by September? Rove is gone August 31, but Gonzo gets to stick around until after Congress is back and then some, to September 17th. That doesn’t make sense…which one of the two would you rather have around if you were Bush, the overly clever political operative who is at least competent at his job of being a ruthlessly political bastard, or Zippy the Wonder Lawyer?
Yeah, thought so.
Which means if this theory holds water, then something made Karl Rove leave the White House. The only gods that Rove worship are purely political. He was asked to walk away as part of a deal and he did…Bush was practically in tears when Rove announced his resignation, Gonzo on the other hand got got Bush halfheartedly saying “You guys picked on him”. I truly think Gonzo was part of the price Bush had to pay for Rove to be able to walk free.
Which means whatever the Dems had on Rove must have been really, truly bad, especially given the fact this administration and this President especially have redefined the term “recalcitrant”. Not only was it bad enough to make Bush puke up Rove before the biggest PR job of his career (the Petraeus White House Report on Iraq) but the Democrats got Gonzo as part of the deal as well.
Now, it’s entirely possible that the GOP game to the President and said “Look, George, we want them gone. Now. You’re fisting us with a handful of broken glass here in 2008.” But considering how the latest hard sell on the Long War is targeting GOP Congressional apostates on Iraq I doubt that’s it either. Bush doesn’t care who he steps on to defend his legacy…but the two men primarily responsible for A) crafting his legacy and B) covering his ass to preserve said legacy are now both gone.
Which comes back down to the question that really matters, the linchpin of the “horrible Rove secret” theory: What the hell is that deep, dark, horrible skeleton the Democrats have on Rove? Why did they give this horrendous little secret up in exchange for Rove walking away scot-free and Gonzo face down in the wood chipper, like some Sopranos story arc?
And that’s where it breaks down. You see, this deep dark secret theory…that’s not what I really think happened. Whatever would be bad enough to sink Rove with a Presidential election season right around the corner would have been irresistible for the Dems to give up. They’re spineless, but they aren’t morons. The ammo would have been too good to use for getting to the White House in 2008.
While Occam’s Razor suggests that Rove and Gonzo were just sick and tired of taking hits for Bush, the theory that the Democrats exacted their pound of flesh with an ironclad scandal that would have royally screwed the administration over is even less likely.
So what does that leave us? It’s not Rove was about to get prosecuted for anything, and Gonzo along with him…that too is a red herring. It’s predicated on the theory that with the Presidential primaries all but decided before Valentine’s Day, the Democrats would all let Rove walk. The secret that would make Rove walk would be bad enough to sink him, and yet none of the Dems would pull the trigger on it? Bullshit. This too is crap, and I don’t buy it. No, there’s nothing on Rove or Gonzo. We would have seen it by now. Something else made them both leave voluntarily. But what?
For our answer, let’s go down the other path. It’s not what this administration did (past tense) that is so horrible…but it’s what this administration is about to do.
My theory is this: Rove and Gonzo got out while the getting was good, because something much, much worse is coming down the pike.
Frankly, if the reason Rove and Gonzo got out is the one I really fear — because they are scared shitless of what Bush…and my guess it’s really what Dick Cheney’s about to do — then I think we should all be paying very, very close attention to the real reason why these two guys are leaving.
Because I think whatever Cheney is planning, not even Rove could stomach it. And Gonzo either saw what Karl did and decided to leave (in his own incompetent Worst Friday News Dump Ever fashion) or he got tossed out because he really was only serving the purpose of being Rove’s firewall. I think it’s a combination of both.
Point being with Rove and Gonzo leaving…somebody better figure out what Cheney’s up to and damn fast, because whatever it is it’s going to happen brutally quickly and happen soon. I think it involves Iran. I think it involves explosions. And I think that while Gonzo really could be the other shoe dropping that Rove started, the real thing that could be dropping within the next couple of months are preemptive bombs on Iran.
The really radioactive, half-lifey “tactical theater weapon” kind. It’s not a time to celebrate, folks. It’s time to figure out what the hell game Cheney is playing.
The truth in Gonzo’s departure is probably a combination of a number of factors, but the primary reason in my opinion is that he was told what this administration is planning to do in the next few months, and Gonzo wanted out (along with Tony Snow, Karl Rove, etc). And just like the Rove departure, the key to the entire thing is Cheney and his unending appetite for war.
It’s gotten to the point where the important people staying in this administration are easier to keep track of than those who are leaving. And number one on that list is Dick Cheney.
He’s the one holding the cards right now. And we’d better figure out what’s in his hand before the rest of the world finds out the hard way.