Within the last week we have been told that Al Qaeda is weaker, Al Qaeda is stronger, Al Qaeda is coming, Al Qaeda is here, and that we are fighting them in Iraq so we don’t have to fight them here except, somehow, maybe, they’ve found there way to our shores. Add to this Homeland Security Chief Chertoff’s “gut feeling” that we will be attacked even though there is no credible evidence.
Forgive me for mixing metaphors, but this is like an Abbott and Costello sketch (Who’s on First) set to the Troggs’ hit, Love is All Around.
Time to update the Troggs’ lyrics. We need someone to sing, “Al Qaeda is All Around”.
I feel it in my tummy, I feel it in my toes.
Al Qaeda’s really coming, let all your fear now show.
I just saw Ayman’s video; he’s everywhere we go
They’re coming here to kill me, something’s going to blow.
Okay, you get the drift. Aspiring songwriters, get to work.
Now let’s really compound the
confusion. According to recent articles:
The
leader of an Al Qaeda umbrella group in Iraq threatened to wage war against Iran unless it stops supporting Shias in Iraq within two months, according to an
audiotape.
Got it? Al Qaeda is threatening Iran(damnit! I thought Al Qaeda only hated us?
Are we being two timed?)
U.S.
Suspects That Iran Aids Both Sunni and Shiite Militias. “We have in fact found some cases recently where Iranian intelligence sorces have provided to Sunni insurgent groups some support,” said General Caldwell, who sat near a table crowded with weapons that he said the military contended were largely of
Iranian manufacture.
Whoops! Iran is helping Sunni insurgents. Al Qaeda is comprised of Sunnis. So Iran likes Al Qaeda? Now who’s on first?
In rebuffing calls to bring troops home from
Iraq ,
President Bush on Thursday employed a stark and ominous defense. “The same folks that are bombing innocent people in Iraq,” he said, “were the ones who attacked us in America on September the 11th, and that’s why what happens in Iraq matters to the security here at home.” . . . The American military and American
intelligence agencies characterize Al Qaeda in Mesopotamia as a ruthless, mostly foreign-led group
that is responsible for a disproportionately large share of the suicide car bomb attacks that have stoked sectarian violence. Gen. David H. Petraeus, the
senior American commander in Iraq, said in an interview that he considered the group to be “the principal short-term threat to Iraq
Now I seem to recall that the 15 of the 19
hijackers/murderers on September 11, 2001 were Saudi and not Iraqi. And that the group we now know as Al Qaeda in Mesopotamia was not part of Al Qaeda on 11 September 2001. And that a fierce gunbattle in Baghdad yesterday, which featured U.S. troops exchanging shots with Iraqi Shia police and Shia militants, left 19 dead.
To recap: We are fighting them there so we don’t have to fight them here. We don’t know who “them” are. So, we’re shooting everyone (kill them all, let Allah sort it out). And, despite all of our shooting, “them” aren’t staying put. Them are on their way or are probably already here and will attack momentarily. And we know this because of the super secret gut bomb detector roiling around in Michael Chertoff’s belly.
Who’s on first? No, what’s on second.
