Austin, TX (APE) – John Ellis Bush, 21, son of Gov. Jeb Bush of Florida and nephew of President George W. Bush was arrested early Friday morning, Sept. 16 in Austin and later enlisted that day in the USMC. He enlisted under an “Anti Dead Enders” program which provides Texas youths with the option of rapid enlistment versus prosecution.
Bush would have been prosecuted for public intoxication and resisting arrest. His enlistment photo shows an abrasion on his chin from his struggle with Austin Police.
Bush family lawyers were handling all communications with the Governor’s family, and have described them as “stunned” by this turn of events. They are reportedly looking into the legality of the “Military A.D.E.” program. A spokesman said, “I know this young man, and at risk of jeopardizing future proceedings, this would not have been an option for him by the next morning.”
White House sources were curiously upbeat about the chain of events. Spokespersons described the President as delighted with his nephew’s choice, and described it as just the next step for a typical Bush political career. The President stated that he would be delighted to inquire for his nephew about possible marine aviation slots if asked. The President and other Republicans have come under significant pressure to have their children enlist and support the Iraqi war effort through the likes of Operation Yellow Elephant, and it is speculated that this may be a way to remove his twin daughters from the spotlight.
Today’s Topical Limericks
North Korea has answered detractors,
The last detail, light water reactors.
No Plutonium distilling,
And they’ll be a third less filling,
Miller Brewing is chief sub-contractor…
German elections have come to a tie,
With Frau Merkel feeling just a bit wry,
Does less than point nine percent,
Represent “mandate”; concent?
It still boils down to a girl, or a guy…
Karzai proudly shows purple finger,
Though questions on turnout still linger.
Taliban importuned dead,
A success, just three wounded,
This country remains in the wringer…
With their healthcare in such disrepair,
New Orleans is just left to despair.
Workers sick of bad choices,
And unheard screaming voices,
Say hospitals are beyond repair…
They’ve re-announced our return to the moon,
As Dubya’s polls just continue their swoon.
Seems NASA’s timing as such,
Has sure come through in the clutch,
Distracts from Dubya’s disastrous typhoon.
The judge has sentenced Koslowski and Swartz,
We’ll assume that they’ve surrendered passports…
`Tis a minor disruption,
On the ass of corruption,
These two should be just considered small warts…
In invitation to visit the stacks,
From librarians, exposing their racks.
This calendar promotion,
Won’t result in demotions,
Well place journals hide the need for hot wax…
Eye contact speaks volumes, they say,
It surely puts soul on display,
Shows the depth of compassion,
Or a heart that is ashen:
Dark passion’s the fashion these days…
KOS seems to say we should leave Bush alone,
The moron upon whom snark skills are honed.
What say ye, blogging Kossacks?
Better OUR leaders attacked,
By the progressives they seek to rezone?
