There is so much going on in the world that is acute: N. Korea with Nukes, impending war with Iran, vote theft and voter suppression, global warming. It is too much to take in.
That being the case, there is a tendency to overlook the less acute — the chronic nagging pain that is always there. Today’s news smacked me between the eyes. The chronic pain became acute. Sorrow. Rage. Frustration. Bubbling up and spilling out in a welter of bitter tears.
The amazing, Bob Herbert, wrote a searing column in the New York Times on misogyny as exposed through the two recent to school shootings. (Herbert can be read only if you have a subscription – and this may be the time to get one.)
I hope I’m not pushing the limits of fair use, but I want to share some of what he said.
In the recent shootings at an Amish schoolhouse in rural Pennsylvania and a large public high school in Colorado, the killers went out of their way to separate the girls from the boys, and then deliberately attacked only the girls.
In the widespread coverage that followed these crimes, very little was made of the fact that only girls were targeted. Imagine if a gunman had gone into a school, separated the kids up on the basis of race or religion, and then shot only the black kids. Or only the white kids. Or only the Jews.
There would have been thunderous outrage. The country would have first recoiled in horror, and then mobilized in an effort to eradicate that kind of murderous bigotry. There would have been calls for action and reflection. And the attack would have been seen for what it really was: a hate crime.
None of that occurred because these were just girls, and we have become so accustomed to living in a society saturated with misogyny that violence against females is more or less to be expected.
A girl or woman is sexually assaulted every couple of minutes or so in the U.S. The number of seriously battered wives and girlfriends is far beyond the ability of any agency to count. We’re all implicated in this carnage because the relentless violence against women and girls is linked at its core to the wider society’s casual willingness to dehumanize women and girls, to see them first and foremost as sexual vessels — objects — and never, ever as the equals of men.
Yes, violence and dehumanization have been reduced to a dull ache and it took the eloquent words of this man to throw it up in our faces, to smack us between the eyes with the ugly reality that confronts women, girls, mothers, sisters, daughters and aunts every day.
Oh, and the other article – the president of Israel may soon be arrested for raping women on his staff.
Hugs, Kahli. I know how you feel.
People tend to get used to chronic conditions. Thus, they usually take a back seat to whatever else feels more urgent and in need of immediate attention.
I am still trying to get used to the harsh reality that no matter how much “better” things seem to be for women today, compared to my day, statistics prove the underlying issue of chronic devaluation of half the population is still rampant today. The pie wars were my biggest wake up shock.
This senior apartment building is right next to a lovely park and lake. Most of the old women no longer go there because they don’t feel safe, and I can understand why. Seems it’s a popular place for carloads of teenaged boys to troll around now, yelling obscenities at old women, such as I was astonished to hear myself once, when a car pulled over near where I was sitting, and I heard “Hey, BABY!! ! Wanna F*UCK?!”, followed by uproarious laughter and a screech of tires as they raced away. Plus there have been some muggings: old women are pretty easy targets.
(I still go there but I carry pepper spray and a good strong, weighted cane. Just come close enough, big fellas, and let’s have a little talk.)
I honestly no longer know what it is going to take to ever end this.
Ah yes, the pie wars — a clear indication that apparently intelligent, ‘progressive’ women will equate liberal female sexuality with the liberation of women. They’ve been deeply fooled; it’s too bad.
As for your willingness to take your own protection in hand: all power to you, scribe!
Just give a holler if they ever give you too much of a hard time.
Well I’m glad someone in the “MSM” finally said it out loud. Thanks for pointing it out Kahli.
After reflection it seems part and parcel of the GOP/conservative/fundamentalist approach to temptation- lash out at the object of desire. These sick bastards desired girls and so killed them. Just like the men in the middle east can’t control their sexual urges and so veil women. Or the closet cases in the anti-gay lobby attack homosexuals.
Oh wow, I agree with you so much. I thought that at the time too that it is strange the media is not zeroing in on the all girls thing, especially when they love a single white female disappears story for years at a time.
Another angle I am going to bring up that I feel should be included is were the on or have they recently been on any antidepressants. These little pills that drs are giving out like candy to everyone and their brother have absolutely devasting withdrwal effests on people. I know this because I am going through it right now. I have turned into a raging monster one minute and crying the next. I won’t go in depth but these drugs that change the makeup of your brain chemistry can be deadly.I read a thread for those of us suffering and one woman’s husband did not know he had to wean off(because the drs don’t tell you)and he ended up killing their three year old. I wonder if these people had to go off the drug suddenly and you cannot do that. You have to very slowly wean off. Just a thought.
Thank you for sharing this, leezy.
There’s no doubt at all that a market-driven health care system (#28 in the world among nations for the actual quality of care, btw) is impacting us in ways we’ve yet to seriously examine as a matter of public discourse. The impact of BigPharma in the formulation of general policy, imo, is an absolute, thorough disaster.
The other thing I left out was that I never wanted to take Lexapro but the dr insisted(yeah, I let him) that it would even out my anxiety I was feeling after two TIAs(mini strokes) and the possibility of a full blown stroke looming in the near future.I was only on it for three months, one of which I was weaning off of it.When I called him last week to talk about the withdrawal I was experencing he wanted me to go back on it. Unreal! He had no idea about the depth and serious degree of it all. Ah yes, the doping of America. He did want to know if I was suicidal though. You see that is one of the f’ing side effects.
Aloha, I am concerned about how you are feeling with this discontinuation. I’ve had a little experience with this with another SSRI. If you have any wish to talk about it off-web, e-mail me. My address is in the Info stuff. Otherwise, I’ll pull my nose back in where it doesn’t belong and just offer my heartfelt concern and sympathy!
thank you so much for your concern. Yes, I would love to talk to someone about it offline. I will contact you via email. Thank you.
Market-driven health care is pretty well guaranteed to be bad for your health.
And yes, Kahli, thanks for the article.
I hadn`t connected the two school shootings in that context & you are right to point it out. The comparison to having those separated, being black kids or jewish kids or handicapped kids, for that matter, is really frightening. Above all this though, is the fact that the victims are children.
The atrocities to children should not be divided into gender, in my opinion, but addressed as the terrible lack of protection we have for children in all countries around the world.
The children in Africa used as cannon fodder or as mini assasins are both male & female, likewise the children in factories slaving for greedy corporations. A starving child knows not it`s gender at one point, as it has no bearing on his/her`s ultimate survival or demise.
What will we say when a shooting occurs again [god forbid] & all the young boys had been herded into a room & mutilated & shot.
What will we say?
“Where have all the flowers gone” Joan Baez
Thanks for all your insights. I posted the diary shortly before I left for work and wasn’t able to engage in the discussion.
You raised many salient points. Thanks again.
Powerful stuff Kahli – thanks for bringing it to our attention.
Thanks for the wake-up call. I hadn’t paid much attention to those stories, but I see now that was a mistake.