John McCain is a hero because he was shot down over North Vietnam. Hayden Panettiere plays one on TV. And she knows that only a real hero can save us now:
Really, I think Johnny Mac should have selected Hayden as his running mate. As far as I know, Sarah Palin hasn’t ever saved the world. And Hayden has the same amount of foreign policy experience as Sarah, is younger, and even more likely to excite white Republican men when she winks at them. Well, except for those with an Oedipus complex . . .
* Yes, dear reader, this is satire.
