“This is looking really good”, says Karl Rove in regards to Joe Lieberman independent run
Washington, DC (APE) – White House aide Karl Rove announced today that he would be taking personal responsibility for the fledgling independent run of Joe Lieberman for Connecticut state senate. He has labeled the race and all its implications as potential “Republican Dynamite”.
Lieberman, refusing to accept the will of the Connecticut Democratic party in his loss to Ned Lamont yesterday, announced his candidacy for the same position as an independent in the fall election. The White House later sent a message to Lieberman campaign headquarters stating that ‘the boss is concerned with the results and will pledge whatever it takes’.
Photo of top secret DOD prototype time machine, the “Rico MKII” found recently for sale on E-Bay
“If they had put me in, things would have been different,” stated Rove. “We would have taken the state. No doubt. No doubt in my mind. Don’t you ever wish you had a time machine and could just go back… well, we’re looking into it. I wish Joe would have talked to us earlier… nowadays voters are only interested in leaders with great computer hacking skills…”
Senator Lieberman campaign material after Latino sympathetic make-over
Rove went on to say that plans were in place for a complete makeover of Senator Lieberman. The goal will be to present him as strong on national security as well as sympathetic to the immigration issue and the national and statewide Latino vote.
Rove stated that the president would continue to offer his personal support to Lieberman, probably in the form of security and campaign logistics.
“This was an incredibly ugly race, and the citizens of Connecticut deserve better,” continued Rove. “I don’t know how things are done around the rich and influential liberal cities in Connecticut, but driving around a massive Paper Mache piñata float of your opponent is just not acceptable. At BushCo we use the buddy system… no more flying solo… you need somebody watching your back at all times.”
CLICK TO ENLARGE “They’ll probably just build us more yellow-cake or something” : Lamont Campaign
The Ned Lamont campaign headquarters, after a day of brief celebration and needed rest was back into high gear this morning. When asked about predictions for the Rove assisted Lieberman campaign, they expressed little concern. “They’ll probably be giving us more half-built yellow cake, or something,” stated an anonymous Lamont staffer, “Vote for Joemo, and all of your wildest nightmares will come true.”