Last year, my wife bought me some yoga lessons, which was a thoughtful but overly optimistic idea. I dutifully went to five or six classes before admitting to her that I have no interest in doing yoga. I enjoyed some of it, particularly learning the poses, but it’s not something that fits my personality. I’m not the kind of person to go to the gym either, unless it’s to take a swim. I think it comes down to the fact that I live inside my head, and my body is simply an inconvenience that occasionally reminds me that I’m mortal. I don’t look at myself in mirrors either. It’s not that I don’t like what I see but that I simply don’t care.

Nonetheless, I can attest that yoga stretches can do some miraculous things for flexibility and stress relief. I absolutely felt better both physically and mentally after those yoga classes. It never occurred to me once that I might be doing something controversial, let alone sacrilegious.

That’s why I find it hard to believe that I share a country with Alabamans.

For the first time in nearly three decades, Alabama will allow yoga to be taught in its public schools, but the ancient practice will be missing some of its hallmarks: Teachers will be barred from saying the traditional salutation “namaste” and using Sanskrit names for poses.

Chanting is forbidden. And the sound of “om,” one of the most popular mantras associated with the practice, which combines breathing exercises and stretches, is a no-no.

The changes follow the signing of a bill on Thursday by Gov. Kay Ivey, a Republican, overriding a 1993 ban on yoga instruction in public schools by the state’s Board of Education. Some conservative groups had called for the prohibition to be preserved, contending that the practice of yoga is inseparable from Hinduism and Buddhism and amounted to a religious activity.

The original ban is mind-blowing, but the new “relaxed” standard is equally dumb.

The bill gained final approval by a vote of 75 to 14 in the House on Monday after previously passing in the State Senate. It included a number of amendments in the final language that [State Representative Jeremy] Gray said reflected efforts by Republicans to play to their religious conservative base.

The amendments require parents to sign a permission slip for students to practice yoga. They also bar school personnel from using “hypnosis, the induction of a dissociative mental state, guided imagery, meditation or any aspect of Eastern philosophy.”

In my mind, the permission slip ought to cover any concerns people might have about their children doing yoga in school. If you don’t want someone saying “Namaste” to your child or introducing “any aspect” of Eastern philosophy to their preciously indoctrinated minds, then don’t sign that slip.

I do give the Alabama legislature credit for revisiting the old law and making some changes. That’s a sign of progress. But, man, those folks have a long way to go before they reach a place with even a semblance of sanity.