Author: SallyCat

Sweeping generalizations by an individual, in a blog diary, in the media, or by a government are ALWAYS wrong. There are so many times that a few people have spouted hateful comments and generalizations about the United States, about Republicans, about Democrats, about Arabs and Muslims, about Christians, about anything ‘they’ don’t like. What happens is always predictable – attack and counter-attack.

During the past 2 months I have watched this blog from the sidelines and participated in the ‘big’ blog. The attacks are by a few…and participated in by the many. So – it looks like those that spew the rhetoric of hate are sowing the seeds of discontent and distrust that keeps them in power. Or maybe it just salves their egos to be one that has the power to disrupt.
All major theologies teach lessons of tolerance and patience and peace. Generically here I will include Judaism, Christianity, Islam, Hindu, Shinto…and so many others. I believe, and this is a big jump for some, that almost all of us want peace and are basically compassionate caring people.

So what happens?

• Many of us have been fighting for decades for peace. We have worked for the good of humankind – around the world – for all these years.
• Many of us have been working for political change for years and years. Some are new to the political process but they are jumping into the fray with their heart and soul.
• Many of us are religious and have worked with our respective churches for peace and compassion around the world.
• Many of us are painfully aware that governments – of many countries – do not represent the will of their people.
• Many of us are tired of the few that make claims and assertions that a brash and hateful generalizations about any people or country.
• Many of us are no longer willing to turn the other cheek and being caring and compassionate to the hateful. We will fight for the dignity of accuracy and integrity in words and speech.

Now what?

We have choices if we are we willing to exercise those choices.

Do we tolerate hate and hateful speech or do we call for peaceful solutions?

Do we tolerate rhetoric or ask for specific points of fact?

Do we walk the walk and promote peace and change or do we accept the status quo?

This is not a political diary it is philosophical discussion of where we choose to be.

This is not an open forum for more rhetoric…but a forum for what we see and expect of ourselves and the world around us.

What choices do we choose to make?

As I posted in the Froggy Bottom Cafe – I’m taking a very extended leave from Booman Tribune.

My reasons are all spiritual in nature and in the nature of growth. My reasons are to walk away from the conflict that is present among some here.

—
Some observations

• Over the past year I have seen some very powerful writers post here – and then leave. Their diaries are in my Hotlist and I’ve read them over and over again.
• I’ve watched, and felt, the pain and anger of betrayal of the strong women that came during the Pie Wars at DailyKos.

• I’ve watched and been part of the tremendous amount of healing and growing and change that happened as the Pie War survivors simply became BooTribbers instead.

• I’ve watched and been part of an emotional growth and healing and bonding among some really powerful writers on this site. There is so much personal that has been shared that many of you are closer than any real life brothers and sisters.
• I’ve watched, and read vicious words be used against entire groups of people. Whether those people were Arabic, or Hispanic, or Christians, or Soldiers.

—-
This past couple of months I have seen so much that is a lack of community on the site. This lack of community on the blog is in direct contrast to the feelings of total connectedness I felt in San Diego. There is so much underlying tension and bitterness, that I’m actually more comfortable spending my time back in the shark tank at DailyKos. There I know I need to watch my back. It is too bad that voices that were trusted and respected at Booman Tribune have become voices I now consider enemies. The positive is that almost all the strong voices that post here, cross post there. I shall not miss your works…as they shall be found.

There are many here that are totally wrapped into their own worlds and simply condemn that which they do not approve of or want. As I did at DailyKos, I will take a long time and re-evaluate the people and their voices here. It took me 6 months to go back to the Orange site. Putting it into perspective kept other’s negative views from impacting my life.

So for now I will walk a path of my own choosing. I have several places to write and share my voice. If it is spiritual it will be at Village Blue or one of my sites. If it is political – I will post where it feels most appropriate…DailyKos or Booman Tribune or My Left Wing.

For now – I leave you with the thoughts that Ghostdancers Way gave us last June.

THE TEN INDIAN COMMANDMENTS!

Treat the Earth and all that dwell thereon with respect!
Remain close to the Great Spirit
Show great respect for your fellow beings
Work together for the benefit of all mankind!
Give assistance and kindness wherever needed
Do what you know to be right
Look after the well-being of mind and body
Dedicate a share of your efforts to the greater good
Be truthful and honest at all times
Take full responsiblity for your actions…..

I have harmed some with my words in anger today. It will be for me to make peace with my soul for that harm because I make no apologies for those words as they were in defense of others not here in this fight.

May you each find your own path to peace and harmony within you. There are many here that I love beyond words. You know who you are and we touch across the stars and moon and sun…and walk this spiritual path together.

And it harm none, do as you will.

I challenge each of you to reach inside yourself and truly know whether your words and actions intentionally, or may unintentionally, harm others.

Blessed Be

There have been lots of diaries over the past few years about revolution in this country – a taking back of our country from those that would destroy our rights. We have fought for those rights in marches, protests, letters and emails and telephone calls. There are many that wonder if we will make it…and more that want us to be a little less confrontational about our fight.  Yet I can not be less confrontational.
The fight for what this country means runs deep in my blood. So deep that – it goes back to 1634, but that’s a different diary.

In a quieter time in my life one of the loves of my life was genealogy. It has been placed on the back burner for the past 5 years.  Even more so the past 2 since the 2004 campaign cycles. During that time period I finally finished tracing my father’s family – direct line – to a Revolutionary War soldier.  A soldier from Conneticut that joined in 1775, served his year, then re-joined for the duration of the war.

So: I joined the Daughters of the American Revolution. Oops: the anti-conservative / anti-military crowd just freaked out. Well, too bad.

My experience with D.A.R.

• This is an organization that is populated with women of many values and many political leanings.
• First and foremost this is an organization devoted to the preservation of the history of the revolutionary heroes.
• This is an organization that has worked constantly since the turn of the last century to provide immigrants with materials on how to become a U.S. Citizen – starting at Ellis Island.
• This is an organization that works to care for our soldiers and veterans – veterans of all wars.
• This is an organization that works to make sure that there are U.S. flags in any school room that wants them and can’t afford them.

The objections are that this organization supports the President of the U.S. I would suggest that as Commander in Chief, it is what they are bound to do. They do this not because of the person in that role, but because our founding fathers gave that person authority in the Constitution.

We as progressives or liberals or whatever we choose to call ourselves must accept that if we want the Constitution of the U.S. defended we can not change the roles designated within. We also need to continue to fight to get our elected officials to uphold the Constitution and rules. These rules provide for Censure or Impeachment if there are criminal acts by the President. It is their role but we can influence their role OR we can replace them as provided by the Constitution.

So while I thought it would be better to not attend my DAR meetings the past year because of other political activities – I was wrong. In 2 weeks I will go back and support the other women fighting for what our ancestors did so many years ago. As an act of patriotism, I will be fighting from within, as well as from without, as long as I can. If ever the need arises, I will join my ancestors, 4 of them, that fought for this country so many, many years ago in any way that defense of the Constitution requires of me.

Let Freedom Ring!

From the DAR – FAQ page:
Q. What is DAR?
A. Daughters of the American Revolution (DAR) is a lineage society that is a non-profit, charitable organization dedicated to patriotism, historic preservation, and education.

Q. Who can be a member of DAR?
A. Any woman 18 years or older, regardless of race, religion, or ethnic background, who can prove lineal descent from a patriot of the American Revolution, is eligible for membership. DAR defines a “patriot” as one who provided service or direct assistance in achieving America’s independence.

Q. Does DAR accept members who are minorities?
A. Yes. DAR has members of all races and ethnic backgrounds.

Q. Is membership limited to certain religious affiliation?
A. No. DAR is proud to have members from many different religions, including Catholic, Mormon, Jewish, Buddhist, and Islamic.

Q. How do I become a member?
A. First you must complete an application that includes your genealogical lineage and accompanying proof documentation. Detailed information can be found in the Become a Member page of the National Society section.

Q. Why does DAR have a lineal requirement for membership?
A. The DAR was founded in 1890 by four women whose common bond was the fact that each had fathers or grandfathers who were patriots of the American Revolution. The founders of the Daughters of the American Revolution sought to create an organization that would “perpetuate the memory and spirit of the women and men who achieved American independence.”

Q. Is DAR a political organization and does it lobby Congress?
A. No, the DAR is not a political organization, nor does it lobby. Because DAR has always been a staunch supporter of a strong national defense, this position has often been misconstrued to suggest that the organization is a political society. DAR is a patriotic society composed of members who subscribe to different political philosophies.

Check their website for more information on the Daughters of the American Revolution

This isn’t meant to even attempt to cover all the news stories that are out there commemoriating the 1906 Earthquake and Fire. It is more of a source of information and a remembrance of the heroes and the victims of this national disaster.

So….a few pictures to get you in the mood…

City Hall….before and after
from SF Chronicle
100 Geary Street – this is just off Union Square

Refugee camp: in 1907

The Great Quake: 1906-2006; As with Katrina, federal role caused discord and conflict. The SF newspaper has a pretty good summary of the Federal government’s response to the earthquake in 1906. It is interesting that one of the things the article focuses on is the `looting’ that occurred. The War Department had issued a ‘shoot to kill’ order for the looters. Hmmm…sounds familiar.

The earthquake occurred April 1906…the last of the refugees were not moved from the tents and shanties until the summer of 1907. So much time…living in a tent for over a year. The mind does not grasp this and as a local I can say the cold, damp summers, and wet winters makes this appalling.

The Great Quake, SF Chronicle
I’ve seen a lot of hype and other stuff the past few weeks. The SF Chronicle has done a good job of putting lots of information together and links. Read a few or a lot…it’s pretty good!

San Francisco Museum website.
This is a cool website. I’ve been to various SF Museums and the curators are excellent. There are links to copies of newspaper articles from the time, photos, and other stuff. My personal favorite – the photographs. The news shows and other shows flip through the images too quickly. Go take a look and ponder what it would mean to have wooden and brick buildings reduced to this kind of rubble…100 years ago. Photos of SF from 1906

So…this is a tribute to the people that died in the quake, to the survivors that rebuilt, and to the government and businesses that did right by the City by the Bay. It is also a reminder, the government did good things in 1906…and bad things.
When the next big one comes…we’ll get through and rebuild…it is human nature to survive and grow.

Peace

Each of  us face different choices on a daily basis. For me there are three basic types of choices and ways of living.  I’ve broken my worlds down into just three categories:

• Status quo
• Spiritual
• Activist

Status Quo
A lot of people choose the path of least resistance – the living day to day and accepting the status quo. This means getting up in the morning, going to work, and doing what society expects of us. It means buying into the `conformity is good’ theme that is rampant in our society in the U.S. For many of us there is an underlying level of dissatisfaction in this choice but fear keeps us from doing anything about change.

Spiritual Path
Inside our hearts we may seek another path. This is a path of love and kindness and healing. There can be a strong desire to be giving and caring. We have a need to nurture ourselves and others. Our hearts know a place of peace. There are moments when this peace surrounds us and touches every part of our being. Too much of our time this part of our hearts and souls are pushed beneath the surface. It is too confusing and out of the norm for others to accept this aspect of us.

Activist
This is the fighter in each of us. A place where we scream – enough is enough or “I’m mad as hell and not going to take it anymore”. Here we stand and fight the system, the abusers and oppressors, the politicians, the greed and most of all the status quo. Here is where what we stand for as a person, and our humanity to others, is put to the test. This place is outside of our comfort zone. This is where the blinders that we wear regarding the status quo are ripped away.

When worlds collide
Each day I get up and go to work in an environment that is adverse to change. This means processes change but internal philosophies do not. It also means acceptance that there will be those that will do no more than necessary. “But it’s not my job” is a recurring theme in this environment of those around me. It is easy to buy into this philosophy and do only what is required. It is hard to push the envelope on a daily basis to leave behind a better work environment for others.

My spiritual life is growing stronger each day. I can look at the trees and rocks and clouds and sun and moon. . . and feel at one with the world around me. There are spiritual people around me – as near as the touch of a hand and as close the internet. These people hear my thoughts and beliefs and do not question. Most importantly they stand behind me to help me if I stumble and fall in my quest. Yet those that help do not interfere in my quest…they recognize the need for each of us to seek and learn on our own. These special people are my guides and mentors.

Each day the news of war and greed and oppression greets me via the radio, tv, newspapers, blogs, and just by listening. It is part of the day that I truly feel `if you are not outraged you are not paying attention’. In paying attention there is so much anger within that it finds it’s outlet in political activism. For some of us it is in organizations with others, for some the blog diaries, for others in marching against the war, and sometimes it some of each. When totally focused on a cause it can bring great satisfaction from believing that we are making a difference. It can also bring hope that we impact the world around us to make changes.

So – these worlds have collided…status quo and no change, spiritual peace and searching, and activism fighting for change. Prioritization and balance have been placed in conflict. I’m not sure if others have these conflicts. However, in my experience I am not alone in these thoughts and feelings. As we have worked to make changes in the political world we have learned from each other. Perhaps now is the time to share how we balance these conflicts in our lifes and learn from each other.

For now there are no answers….just a recognition that these worlds have collided.

Cross-posted at My Left Wing

The past few weeks the local stations have been doing specials on the 1906 Earthquake and Fire in San Francisco. On Tuesday, April 18th at 5:12 am, it will be 100 years since the earth shook with a 7.9 earthquake and became an integral part of San Francisco’s history. That will be a different diary.

For now – I’m going with the more personal side of earthquakes. What it means to live in earthquake country.

Read on and see what it is like…
I’ve been in California since 1974 and all but one year has been in the SF Bay Area. The other year was in LA. When I moved here I was 18 and didn’t think about earthquakes. I’m not sure that I even realized they were a big deal until I’d been here a few years. During the next 15 years, there were a few ‘shakers’ as we would call them that I experienced. Something between a 3.5 and 4.5 and nowadays they would be good for betting on. If you saw the movie “Volcano” and the crews betting on magnitude and epicenter…well it really happens! And for the record…Richter 10 was just bizarre. There was one earthquake greater than 7.0 during these 15 years. I’ve listed the 7+ quakes below.

Don’t get me wrong – we take 5’s and 6’s seriously. These quakes generally cause large amounts of property damage in areas where there are unreinforced buildings. But the “Big One” is always going to be defined as 7 or greater (I included Northridge because of the amount of damage sustained).

So the “7’s” since 1974:

• 7.2 Nov. 8, 1980 West of Eureka (offshore) Injured 6, $1.75 million in damage
• 7.1 Oct. 17, 1989 Loma Prieta 63 killed
• 7.3 June 28, 1992 Landers 1 killed, 400 injured, 6.5 aftershock
• 7.2 April 25, 1992 Cape Mendocino (offshore) 6.5 and 6.6 aftershocks
• 6.7 Jan. 17, 1994 Northridge 61 killed, $15 billion in damage

——
So with knowledge of only one big earthquake in my 15 years, and that one off the north coast, why would I worry.

And then it was October 17, 1989
It was an ordinary day – for a CPA firm near the SF City Hall. We had just finished the last of any tax returns with final extensions. It was a hot, muggy day. The air was still which was unusual for SF. For some of you to understand – it’s the heavy feeling just before a big thunderstorm is about to break after a hot sultry day. Very still. We joked at lunch that it felt like ‘earthquake weather’…because this is not unusual for little quakes.

End of the day. I was one of 10 or so closing up the office and getting ready to go home. It was 5:04 pm and it was opening day of the World Series: SF vs Oakland. Most of the U.S. was home getting ready for the game. Most of my office was AT the game. I’m walking down the hall to the kitchen with my coffee cup to put it in the dishwasher. The floor shook hard – like a semi-truck had run into the building. Then it stopped. Then it was a rolling shake that continued for a really long time. Trust me, 30-45 seconds is long time when the floor is moving!

I had moved to a doorway and stood watching ceiling tiles and metal framing around those tiles fall to the floor. Stood watching books fall off of bookcases and fans fall of shelves. Then it stopped. We all called out to make sure others were okay. Yep…no worries…some stuff fell that’s all. Then the power went out. The few of us carefully went through and turned off computers at the surge protectors. Turned off light switches, and went down 2 flights of stairs to go home.

On the streets…brick facades had collapsed…some windows had broken but no big deal. Then we crossed the street. Huge cracks had appeared in the walls of a couple of old buildings. Cracks, 1-2 inches wide, that were 8-12 feet long, running diagonally up the side of 3 story buildings.

A lot more concerned now we walked the half block to the parking garage, no power, dark basement, dripping pipes over the cars, but no noticeable damage. Okay – hugs to co-workers and get home to families. Me – north across the Golden Gate Bridge…another east across the Bay Bridge. I made it home in about 35 minutes – due to collapsed buildings in the Marina access to the GG Bridge and traffic problems in the financial district. My friend Stu – well a section of the Bay Bridge collapsed. He ended up driving from SF to San Jose and then back up the far side of the bay to his home in Castro Valley. That night it took him 4 hours. The folks at the game…3-4 hours also because of the damage in SF and to the bridge.
——
What happened that October forever changed my understanding of people in times of crises and governments when people are in need.

The lights were out on the streets of SF as I worked my way to the bridge. People had stepped to the intersections and were directing traffic. Somebody was stranded and the local coffee shop gave them a place to wait. There were 2 women waiting at the last bus stop before the bridge – and the buses were not going to be there that night. I drove them to their stop 20 miles up the road.

• When the Cypress freeway collapsed, everyone that could helped. And miracles happened when people were brought out of the collapsed freeway.
• When the entire downtown of Santa Cruz (near the epicenter) collapsed, trucks of food and water and supplies were driven in by strangers.
• When they declared the Marina district homes uninhabitable – hundreds of trucks and thousands of volunteers showed up to help strangers move to a new place.
• When we called to volunteer – it was the local governments – Oakland and San Francisco that organized the help. Don’t ask me about the Red Cross – that’s a rant diary.
• Was there Federal assistance – I don’t know. The City of SF coordinated everything I saw. It all went through the Office of Emergency Services.

So before I continue….a picture…

This neighborhood was built on landfill and collapsed due to liquifaction. This is the Marina District with beautiful view of SF Bay and the Golden Gate Bridge. For more information visit the website for Loma Prieta, from SF Museum History

Same area…up the hills looking back to the bay

So…what did I learn…

• I live in one of the most caring, sharing and loving places on earth.
• That each of us are neighbors and we helped each other.
• That local governments, properly managed, and aware of their geographic risks, can be prepared for an emergency.
• That each of us as individuals has a responsiblity to be prepared for an emergency.

Each day I’m aware of the earthquake potential, but relish each day that I’m here. I’m aware of my neighbors and friends and we have refined our preparedness. We can not walk in fear of the disasters that may befall us. We can only walk in the beauty around us and in us.

So when the “Big One” comes, we’ll pull together as neighbors, be it anywhere in California. We’ll pick up and go help, and we’ll help each other rebuild. We have 100 year history to live up to….and we are up to the task.

Today’s Hot Topic: Immigrant students and their impact on the education level of other students.

One of the more interesting conversations that came out of the SoCal meet-up was on immigration issues. With the BT expert on hand…Man Eegee…lots of questions were posed and lots of ideas discussed. We were way too short on time (several months probably!) to cover all the questions. This diary is one of the first to come from the meetup.

The topic of immigration on education was brought up. One of the biggest concerns that many in California have, and the rest of the U.S., is the impact on immigrants on the education of the english speaking students. The schools are having to address this issue of English as a Second Language (ESL) on a daily basis. So I’m opening this discussion based on the following questions:

1.    What impact do non-English speaking students have on education?
2.    How many non-English speaking students are in the California schools?
3.    How many of the non-English speaking students are immigrants?

These questions are being posed across the country. How we have or haven’t dealt with them in California will directly impact the rest of the nation. See California’s lessons on immigration, Peter Shrag, Boston Globe, April 2, 2006

An interesting California statistics – extrapolated from the PPIC Research Brief sited below:

Number and location of EL (English Learner) students, Fall 2003
Region          % of EL Students
Bay Area                 21.2
Central Coast           30.4
Far North                 10.3
Inland Empire            22.2
Sacramento Metro     16.5
San Diego                 26.0
San Joaquin Valley      25.6
Sierras                      2.6
South Coast              33.0
Total (Note)            26.4           
(Note): Total was calculated by diarist – and if someone can help with alignment I’d appreciate it!

A further quote from the same research brief: “A commonly held belief is that EL students have limited English skills because they are recent immigrants. However, most EL students (85%) are born in the United States of immigrant parents.”

What ideas do we as progressives have to address the concerns regarding education and the schools?

Some parameters and rules:

The primary focus this issue / discussion is as a Californian – with it’s corresponding impact on Arizona.

Living in California it is a given that a substantial portion of our population has an immigrant background or status.

Statistics wherever possible will be directly linked…rather than to a news article.

This is a learning exercise for a lot of us. Be patient with other’s questions and concerns.

This is a framing exercise as well. We need to understand the issues of those in favor or radical immigration laws and learn to fight them with information and facts.

I will add more parameters to direct the flow if necessary…this is a volatile issue…and we need to learn how to talk about it.

– – – –
Some background links on the organizations that I use for research and reading material – think tank stuff!

Education Commission of the States
ECS GOALS

Provide a nonpartisan forum to address critical state education policy issues, encouraging interchange among diverse people with disparate points of view.

Deliver accurate, objective, timely and useful information that supports effective decisions about state education policy.

Conduct state education policy analysis to identify effective policy options, emphasizing evidence of results.

Provide expert assistance to state leaders in their work to develop and implement education policy and to evaluate its impact.

Exercise leadership in identifying the cutting edge of education policy, enabling state leaders to think, plan and act beyond current issues and current solutions.

Collaborate when appropriate with other organizations that share ECS values and goals.

Communicate effectively about the importance and results of education reform and about strategies for public involvement and political change.

Develop and sustain an organization that is nonpartisan, informed, future-oriented, responsive, financially healthy, accountable, technologically advanced, effective in collaboration, and astute with regard to both the substance and the process of constructive change.

Bilingual/ESL Links from ECS.org   Lots and lots of reading stuff at this site.

For some specific information on ESL in CA and statistics the next site to check out is the Public Policy Institute of California. This is another non-partisan think tank on California issues.

Public Policy Institute of California
About the Insitute A brief excerpt

The Public Policy Institute of California (PPIC) is a private, nonprofit organization dedicated to improving public policy in California through independent, objective, nonpartisan research. The institute was established in 1994 with an endowment from William R. Hewlett.

Research focuses on three program areas: population, economy, and governance and public finance. Studies within these programs examine the underlying forces shaping California’s future, cutting across a wide range of public policy concerns: California in the global economy; demography; education; employment and income; environment, growth, and infrastructure; government and public finance; health and social policy; immigrants and immigration; key sectors in the California economy; and political participation.

The Progress of English Learners in CA Schools, Public Policy Institute of California, April 2005 pdf file

I really interested in meeting more folks close to the SF area…

Maybe get a chance to see one of my favorite flirts – Monsieur Suskind…and talk to Refinish about his art work…and all the rest of the crazy, wonderful froggies up here…

Ideas:
Time: sometime in mid-May weekends of May 6 or May 20.

Where: somewhere central maybe East Bay / Contra Costa County

Type: Afternoon picnic / hanging out in one of the regional parks…weather will hopefully be our usual May gorgeous.

Okay I read the list posted in mcjoan’s Midday Open thread at the orange site. The list is a link to Feminista and why liberal men do it better.

Here’s my shot at the Why Liberal Women do it Better list. It started here as a comment in the Froggy Bottom Pub (thanks to maryb!) and then I posted it as a diary at the Orange site. It was lots of fun…hey it was a diversion this afternoon…and I’m brain dead from the ‘war president’ speeches and politics!

10 Reasons Why Liberal Women are Better in Bed

1. Conscience! A liberal woman knows it’s not all about her. She knows there is a intelligent partner attached to that hot body!

2. Tears! Liberal women’s tears – heh – not during sex – unless the orgasm makes her scream and her eyes water!  Tears are for the crimes against society perpetrated by rethug governments and during chick flicks.

3. A sense of perspective. A liberal woman knows that there is `marital duty sex’, good sex, great sex…and hot sweaty roll in the sheets sex.  She knows that `marital duty’ is a Republican male idea and any of the other three is a liberal’s goal. She prefers the last one most of all.
4. A sense of adventure. Liberal women are willing to try new things with consenting partners and believes location, location, location – means bed, sofa, floor, or wherever it works! Republican women are `good girls’ that don’t do it unless they are engaged or married.

5. Foreplay. Liberal women know there are many erogenous zones….from toes to nose…and a brain as well.

6. Size. Liberal women like size as well as the next woman….but they want some technique and finesse that goes with it. They also are comfortable with their own size…of bottom, top, and every other part.

7. Flexibility. See #4.

8. Largesse. Liberal women will never insist on going to a restaurant that is too expensive and then whine about the service and what everyone is wearing. They prefer money be spent on health care and education for everyone. They like quiet intimate dinners…sitting in bed naked with pizza is just fine.

9. Wooing techniques. Liberal women like being assertive….and sending messages and talking dirty on the telephone to their partners.  Liberal women know the words to use on the phone…and they know how to perform them as well!

10. Nightstand reading. Sex Toys 101 : A Playfully Uninhibited Guide. Liberal women understand that toys can be used by both partners!

So why do you think liberal women and men do it better??

In all the discussions of rape, incest, and abortion there is always a concern that as women we learn to distrust and hate men. Most of us don’t. We love the men that help us heal, the men that believe us when we are attacked, the ones that stand with us when others abandon us. You are our brothers, fathers, friends, uncles, grandfathers, husbands, and just special guys.  You are average guys to the world. You go to work and raise families.  We know the difference and we sometimes in our raging forget to tell you that. So this is for you.

This is a tribute to the friends and partners and families that love the victims and survivors. A special thank you and gift of love to those that love us – just as we are and what we may ultimately become.

What you see – and love in us: Are you crazy or what?

• You are the caring cop that talks us in the hospital or police station and treats us with dignity.
• You are the guy that wants to beats the crap out of some guy that attacked us.
• You are the guy that gets really pissed that the laws won’t let you beat the crap out of the guy that attacked us.
• You are the guy that rescued us from a bunch of bullies on a school campus.
• You are the one that rages at the judicial system that puts the victim on trial.
• You are the guy that cries with us…and it’s okay for grown men to cry over our pain.
• You are so many of the guys that read these diaries…and extend a virtual hand to us.
• You are the ones that don’t look at us differently after you hear our stories.
• You tell us you like us – just as we are.
• You look behind the bravado and see the soft hearted person inside of us.
• You simply give us a hug and chuckle when the child in us stumbles and falls – and like an indignant cat – will look around at you as if to say -`what are you looking at – nothing happened – I meant for that to happen!’
• You don’t turn away when we need to rage against the world…you sit and let us rage.
• You don’t turn away when you get caught in the crossfire of our rage – you know that the rage isn’t about you.
• You understand that we can be stubborn and defiant – and you still don’t back down from us. – You encourage and support and nurture that defiance into a constructive path.
• You hold us when we cry.
• You give us space to cry alone when to be touched is painful.
• You make us laugh.
• You don’t understand the inner child’s pain but you nurture and care for that child when it is hurting.
• You don’t understand when something sets us off – and yet you stay close by with the touch of a hand, a gentle hug, a quiet word, or just sitting next to us until it passes.
• You don’t understand our hang-ups – but you work with us to work through them…or simply accept them if that is what we ask.
• You hug us publicly to show your love and support.
• You stand proudly beside us as we stand terrified in public to tell our story. You are not ashamed of our past and support our work…whether it is one on one or in a large group.
• You call us friend or partner or spouse.
• You treat us as you would anyone else. You understand that 99% of the time we are just normal people and you don’t treat us differently.
• You tell us you love us. No questions. No strings. No commitments. Just love.

Simply: love given and love received
You give us love and accept our love in return. You teach us that love is freely given…and grows just as freely. You teach us that when we accept love – it is easier to give love. Love knows no boundaries or rules. You have taught us to love ourselves. You have let us love you.

This is my gift of love – to those that love us: past, present, and future.

With all my heart and soul: I love you more than any words can say – and bless you for touching me with your love. With a special love for my husband of 23 years.

Cross posted at DailyKos