The future President asks a compelling question that has never been adequately answered:
“Will the highways on the Internet become more few?”
-George Walker Bush, in Concord, N.H., Jan. 29, 2000.
About The Author
BooMan
Martin Longman a contributing editor at the Washington Monthly. He is also the founder of Booman Tribune and Progress Pond. He has a degree in philosophy from Western Michigan University.
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“We need to apply 21st-century information technology to the health care field. We need to have our medical records put on the I.T.”
–Collinsville, Ill., Jan. 5, 2005
George W Bush, St. Charles MO. November 2, 2000
we need to make a few more — thanks for this excellent site, Booman!
MAKE THE PIE HIGHER
by George W. Bush
I think we all agree, the past is over.
This is still a dangerous world.
It’s a world of madmen and uncertainty
and potential mental losses.
Rarely is the question asked
Is our children learning?
Will the highways of the internet become more few?
How many hands have I shaked?
They misunderestimate me.
I am a pitbull on the pantleg of opportunity.
I know that the human being and the fish can coexist.
Families is where our nation finds hope, where our wings take dream.
Put food on your family!
Knock down the tollbooth!
Vulcanize Society!
Make the pie higher! Make the pie higher!*
*This is a poem made up entirely of actual quotes from George W. Bush. The quotes have been arranged only for aesthetic purposes, by Washington Post writer Richard Thompson.
he means when he says “Vulcanize society”? I can think of some jokes involving the Vulcans (both the Trekkie kind and the neo-con variety but does anyone have any clue what he might really have been trying to say?
At the very beginning of the 2000 presidential campaign, Ken Herman reported in a front-page story appearing in the 23 March 1999 edition of the Austin American-Statesman that Governor Bush had expressed his disdain for racial quotas as programs that “vulcanize” society:
Sometimes this smooth operator is anything but. This was evident in a March 23 piece by Ken Herman, the Austin American-Statesman’s chief Bush watcher, who wrote about the governor’s “2-step around hot topics.” Mr. Bush says he’s against “hard quotas, quotas that basically delineate based on whatever. However, they delineate, quotas, I think, vulcanize society.”12
In this instance Governor Bush of course meant to say ‘Balkanize’ (to divide a group into small, often hostile units) rather than ‘vulcanize’ (to improve the strength of rubber by combining it with sulfur in the presence of heat and pressure).
From here
For a while I was a Friend’s addict – had to watch the new show every Thursday night. In one episode, Phoebe was giving French lessons to Joey so he could play a particular character that spoke French in this play.
She’d read something in French, and he would repeat back this French-sounding gibberish. She’d correct him, but he couldn’t hear the difference and truly thought he was speaking French.
Bush probably thinks he’s speaking English too.
Speaking of rearranging quotes…
Check out thepartyparty.com. They remixed samples of Bush’s speeches and set it to music. I’ve heard people do spoofs with George’s speeches, but these ones are the best I’ve heard. Be sure to check out “Dick is a Killer”. Funny stuff!
You know…the sad part is, they sound like something Bush would actually say, without being remixed.
The President implicitly but definitively answered the question in the negative last October by revealing that in addition to there being more highways, there are now multiple internets.
“The legislature’s job is to write law. It’s the executive branch’s job to interpret law.”
To heck with that good ol’ judicial branch…?
Speedbumpday…heh… George Bush = Road Kill along the information superhighway.
One of my personal favorite Bushisms:
“Natural gas is hemispheric. I like to call it hemispheric in nature because it is a product we can find in our neighborhoods.” – Dec. 20, 2000
You can’t make up better stuff than this.