I am breaking out of my diary virgin claim with a not-so-serious topic but one that I, as a single woman, ponder quite a bit. Can a Liberal fall in love with a Conservative? Can the BooMan community tell me: Does it work?
I confess that I have dated several conservative men. In the beginning all went well. But as I got to know them and their values, the further apart we became. I do not compromise on my beliefs. The last one that I dated honestly believes that Iraq had WMD because Fox News reported so. AARGH!
I can usually eliminate any potential disasters by asking someone who they think has been the most effective president. A response of “Reagan” is immediate disqualification. Am I being too picky?
As a 35 year old divorcee, I have come to the conclusion that there aren’t as many fish in the sea as so many claim. Do I give up on the conservatives? Can Mary Matlin/James Carville romances work?
What is your experience?
I’m a big pain in the ass. No, actually I’m just a very outspoken person, who is very firm in her views. I keep MFPH shut around the fiance’s parents – but that’s about it.
Here’s how I view it – I will not fuck someone who will object to me terminating an unwanted pregnancy (I am not prepared to have kids just yet). That’s what it comes down to – your dick will not get near me if you can’t hack the consequences and live with ’em on my terms. My body. My disrupted life. My terms.
Fiscal conservative? Different story. But I am a firm believer in social programs – and I see people who want to axe them as heartless. And who wants to sleep with that, either. Next, they’ll be hoarding their money and making their kids take out exorbitant school loans to pay off college (as my fiance’s parents did. Fucking Bullshit, IMHO).
But, that’s just been my experience, so take that with a few grains of NaCl.
My best friend married a guy who’s a Republican. Nice guy, fiscally conservative in a way I usually agree with. Just votes for the wrong guys…but not Bush, thank God.
The downside of inter-political relationships: My friend above is on the board at our local Planned Parenthood, and has been since before she met him. As you may or may not know, there is a financial commitment to being on the board. Again, nothing new to Republican husband. But after they’ve been married 6 months, he opens up her mail one day, and goes nuts over the donation to PP. Wants to know what she’s giving up from their monthly budget to pay for that (of course, she is 35 years old, has her own job, etc). But, he’s a traditional Republican type, as in, I am the man who controls the money, you are the wife, and you ask me before you spend it. Apparently, even if it’s hers!
I think relationships are hard enough without trying to cross a chasm of political beliefs. But what do I know?
End of my friend’s story: She offered to cancel the cable TV to cover the cost of her donation that month. That was the end of the discussion!
OMG what a tool. Fuck your money, honey. It’s mine now!
A lovely rejoinder about the TV, though. The woman may be your friend, but I’m sending her husband a One-Fingered Salute, anyway. General Principles, and all.
Yeah, when she told me what had happened, all I could think was “Why is he opening your mail?” and “Aren’t you an adult, too?” I’ll have to resist teasing him about “What, you still have cable?” the next time I see him!
I guess my attitude might explain why I’m not dating people of alternate politial beliefs…
that it would be easier for me to date someone of a different religion than someone with different political beliefs.
I went on a two dates with a conservative, self-hating repressed homophobe. I kicked his ass to the curb right quick.
Then again, I’ve also had to break up with a Jewish boy who wouldn’t tell his mother we were dating because I am not.
I think in either case, it CAN work if there is mutual respect for each others’ views, and good communication skills. But since those things rarely exist even in relationships where there are no political or religious differences, said differences just make things that much difficult.
I know from experience – my husband is conservative.
During the 2000 elections, we had two signs in the yard, as we live on a corner lot. His was a Bush sign, with ‘HUSBAND’ written on paper attached to the top, on the side of the house, and mine was a Gore sign with ‘WIFE’ written on it, in front of the house. People stopped and commented all the time about the signs. 😉
We have very vigorous and lively political discussions in my house – especially now, since a dear friend of ours who came back from Saudi last summer is living with us, and was at the time of the election, also.
My husband has come a long way. Now he’ll freely admit, for example, that Fox News is staffed by biased butt suckers. He never would have said that two years ago, trust me. But after making him watch F 9/11, and reading things to him about Bush policy, and talking to him about Cheney and his inherent evilness, he’s getting it. He says that there are still things that Bush has done that he agrees with…but he also admits that Bush has screwed up royally in a lot of ways. This, my friends, is better than nothing. LOL!
Moral of my long winded story: it can work, sure. You just have to want it to work.
Stick with your own kind; relationships are hard enough without the added stress of serious values/political conflicts.