Good evening. Welcome to tonight’s edition of Carnacki’s Chiller Theater.
Tonight I bring you tales of terror and mystery and of wonders of the imagination.
So turn down the lights, turn up your spookiest music and sit back as I open up the crypt to see what horrors are hidden within.
::Turns to gargoyle::
I said horrors not whores! What kind of web site do you think Booman Tribune is? Take them back inside.
Pardon the interruption.
Thrills to the discovery of a Chinese Pompeii. Who knows what other mysteries are hidden beneath the surface of the Earth?
Thrills to a police officer who investigates the occult. Put the chicken head down and come out with your hands up. This officer sounds like New Jersey’s version of the X-Files.
Chills to a sex-crazed demon haunting Tanzanians.
Mohammed Juma starts to sweat and fidget as he recalls his rape by Popo Bawa, the most feared spirit-monster of the Zanzibar spice islands.
“We believe reading the Koran is our only defense, nothing else,” says the 41-year-old driver and father of four. “But Popo Bawa is real, and well prepared.”
Vacationers on the Indian Ocean islands tend to smile dismissively at accounts in guidebooks of the bat-like ogre said to prey on men, women and children. But for superstitious Zanzibaris a visit from the sodomizing gremlin is no joke.
Has anyone checked to see if Bush-appointee
Chills to Panamanian cattlemen poisoning vampire bats.
Thrills to The New York Times getting a story right for a change. Sherlock Holmes remains the greatest of all men. Too bad he’s not around today. This administration would be his criminal nemesis.
