Progress Pond

Summing Up the Newsweek Story

Two Arabs are sitting in a dentist’s office, perusing a stack of magazines spread out on a coffee table.

 Mohammed: “Hey, Abdul, it says here in Newsweek that Americans flushed a Koran down the toilet.”

 Abdul: “Whoah, that really pisses me off! What does it say in Time?”

 Mohammed: “Uh, nothing in Time.”

 Abdul: “Business Week?”

 Mohammed: “Mmm, nope.”

 Abdul: “Well, Newsweek is really my most trusted news source. We better riot.”

 Mohammed: “Allah Akbar! God is great! Kill the Infidel!”

 A few days later…

 Mohammed: “Hey, Abdul – Newsweek just retracted that story about the Americans flushing a Koran down the toilet.”

 Abdul smacks himself in the forehead. “D’oh!”

 Then: “Hey you guys! Call off the riot! Newsweek retracted the story! I guess it wasn’t true.”

 Shouts ring out across the public square. “Everything’s OK! They didn’t flush the Koran!”

 “Praise Allah!”

 “Their anonymous source can’t remember if he read it in a report or not!”

 “There is No God But God!”

 “The Americans are only trying to spread democracy! What we’re we thinking?”

 “Yeah! Why would they flush a Koran down the toilet? It makes no sense!”

 “Perhaps we will find out more about it in next week’s issue of Newsweek!”

 Satisfied, the Arabs go home and live happily ever after, eagerly awaiting each new issue of their favorite glossy newsmagazine and the arrival of democracy.

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