Eodell, in a well-written and reasoned diary yesterday outlined 5 key reasons why dKos is not worth fighting for. I respect eodell’s opinions and analysis. However I reject the conclusions drawn by the author vehemently.
To summarize my understanding of eodell’s arugments (at a risk of over simplification):
1. eodell believes Kos should apologize and does not believe this will happen
2. Kos is basically the same as the DLC
3. Kos is about partisan politics, not ideology
4. Daily Kos has become a forum for Congressional and other Democratic representatives to voice their opinions (which is bad because Kos or some troll might say something evil)
5. The core value of equality trumps all else. Kos is perceived as violating this value and therefore is not worth fighting for
Even if eodell is 100% correct in the 5 assertations I argue that Daily Kos is a meta-issue that we as liberals, progressives and centrists must face. And that meta-issue is how to build a consensus — a coalition — out of what are disparate groups and sometimes competing priorities and agendas.
I. Coalition building
If you look at the NeoCon movement from afar it seems an unlikely group. A fundamentalist / religious sect married to corporate cronyism doesn’t seem like it should work. But it does, and if you think there isn’t friction in the Republican Party you’re wrong. The big issue is how does the Republican Party meld together the many disparate fractions into one whole, and then sell that vision to the American audience.
The answer is simple. They learned the lesion of divide and conquer and its antithesis, unite and defeat. The NeoCons have perfected the so-called “wedge issue.” Merriam-Webster’s 11th Collegiate Dictionary defines wedge issue as: a political issue that divides a candidate’s supporters or the members of a party.
To use a wedge issue successfully you must guard your own flanks. That means if someone tries to split your coalition along a fracture you must keep the internal politics internal and present a unified front no matter what.
This is exactly what we’ve seen from the Republicans. During the last election season you couldn’t find a Republican dog catcher that would publicly speak off-message. They knew the rules right down the line. No matter what your internal disagreements you must close ranks – or loose.
II. What it means to be a Liberal
What are some of the Liberal core values? Broad-mindedness? Inclusive of other values and customs? If we have to write a “mission statement” for liberalism in America today what would that mission statement say? How can we encapsulate what it means to be a Liberal in a few sentences?
Here’s one of my favorite short answers. My point of view includes room for yours, even if I don’t agree; a Conservative point of view often precludes any other. For example in my world there is room for those who believe abortion is immoral; in a socially Conservative world there is no room for those who do not.
A religious conservative does not have room in his or her world view for a Buddhist, a Hindu or a Muslim. In my religious world view there is parity between the Buddhist, Hindu, Jew, Muslim, Christian, Taoist, etc. A law that promotes one religion over another would make the NeoCon happy – just as long as that religion is his (or her) brand of Christianity.
If you extend this theory further you can see that it holds up very well. Evolution, for example, does not preclude a creator; strict religious teachings would preclude evolution. The list goes on and on. In other worlds my Liberal world view is compatible with other views with which I do not agree. But that’s ok because the world is a better place for the diversity of opinion.
So to me being a Liberal means making room in the world for all. This sounds strangely close to point #5 above. But here’s the twist. If I throw out Kos then I’m violating the rule. I’m acting like the Conservative. I’m doing exactly the thing that I would be furious at Kos for doing. I’m closing my world to the Kos world view; saying that including that other world view is impossible. To me this is not a Liberal stance at all, rather a very reactionary one.
III Why Kos is worth fighting for
Why is Kos worth fighting for? Because to not fight does two terrible things. One is it hands Mr. Rove a great wedge issue to beat us with. It exposes our internal fracture lines just when we need to build a coalition. Kos is a coalition and one much larger than any other so far. To turn our backs on that organization would be foolish.
To run from the dKos community would be to violate my core tenant as a Liberal – to be Ok with other, conflicting world views.
I find that I still spend most of my blog time there. I also find that all the infighting has reminded me that my blog time is far less important than my family, church, and real world politic (letter to editor, volunteer, etc) time.
the blogs should be a means to an end, not an end in themselves.
I agree with much of your reasoning here – but I respect the space of those who – for whatever reason – chose to only post here (or there, or elsewhere)
We do need to learn to work through deep disagreements – but that does not mean we should expend all our energy doing so – some people I really admire have chosen to move on, so be it. Means I just have to speak up a bit more “over there.” I can do that.
dKos, and Booman are tools to use to further our political views – they can, at their best, also be communities where we find support and even friendship – but I fear we take them too seriously at times.
Truth be told, right about now I’m feeling pretty dejected about dKos these days. The infighting, sharp elbows, and plain disagreeableness are wearing me out.
I also feel like it’s something worth having, and being a part of. But I find I have to back away for a sanity check more frequently than before.
Your point about re-discovering the things that matter really resonates for me, isiyitc. Thanks. Nicely said.
I spent time on Kos today, got totally depressed and disgusted at the infighting over there (but really need the site for breaking news – unless anybody has any other recommendations for this) – and finally without even knowing why surfed over to a United Way site to look for volunteer work. Also, hugged my loved ones, picked up a book, walked the dog and meditated.
I used to post comments and read 90% of my time at DailyKos – but I got there through a other blogs and after information overload from the newspapers.
First: Blogs are for me a summary source of news and information. I do not have time to read all of the news around the nation. Blog diaries are where other like minded individuals take on the news. Last year pre-election, despite the DailyKos – I skimmed through at least 12 US newspapers for election information.
Second: Blogs represent the tone of their participants. During the past 6 months the tone of the diaries at DailyKos became belligerent towards those of dissenting opinions. The tone and attitude is simply the flip side of what I can watch on FoxNews for the right.
Third: DailyKos has mini-communities where virtual, and in some cases real, friends have been made. If there is friendship, those relationships will survive beyond the moving on of others.
Fourth: Winning at all costs is not the name of the game for me. It IS the name of the game at DailyKos.
I wish no ill on DailyKos.
I drop by once a week to drop 4’s on the C&J’s crowd…which has also changed. If I see a cross posted diary from Booman I will recommend the diary there.
– Do I miss it now that I’m not there? Nope…
– Will I go back where my opinions are discounted? Nope…
– Will I go back if Kos apologizes? Nope…abusive attitudes are deeper than words and is part of the culture of DailyKos at this point.
It was several months before the pie fights that I came and found a quieter community. This continuing discussion from both sides is irritating. I respect that people post on both sites some of us choose not to.
My .02 – I’m tired of seeing these diaries on Booman.
My over-happy clicking finger hit “post” for some reason just as I was getting ready to type.
I agree, I am not at all happy with the number of diaries and skull-time this issue is taking up. I would not for the world tell anyone to shut up or to say they can’t post about something; but by the same token, I think Us vs. Them diaries are divisive, unproductive, and take up time that could be better spent doing things like following the money trail on Tom Delay or writing congresscritters and LTEs in support of public broadcasting or any of a hundred hundred other things that actually further the causes we believe in.
Not only that, they run the risk of defining Booman Tribune as the Anti-Kos. This is not the Anti-Kos. We all want the same things, even if we express those wants differently. An alternative to Daily Kos, perhaps; but that’s not the same thing as being the Anti-Kos. I would rather see the liberal community as a place where, as a matter of policy, we prefer to build things up rather than tear them down.
My feeling is that if you don’t feel comfortable in a particular environment, don’t go there. I don’t feel comfortable in bars, so I don’t go to them. I wouldn’t feel comfortable over at Free Republic or Little Green Footballs, so I don’t go there. And if anyone feels unwelcome or uncomfortable at Daily Kos, there are many alternatives.
I don’t think Daily Kos has outlived its usefulness yet, if only because of its size; its “status,” if you will, that attracts luminaries like Barbara Boxer and John Conyers and the SDCC to post there, and gets people like Jeff Seemann and Chuck Pennacchio running for office; and because it regularly cranks out both alumnus bloggers and alumnus sites like The Last Hurrah and (ahem) Booman Tribune. But that is my personal opinion, freely given and worth every bit of what was paid for it. As we say in the computer biz, your mileage may vary.
Well stated SallyCat and worth a 12, may I buy you a drink of your type and choosing at the Froggy Bottom cafe? We have with or without alcohol as it suits the individual.
If no one responds to these continuing mono-topic diaries, perhaps they will fade into the fog coming off the Frog Pond.
“My .02 – I’m tired of seeing these diaries on Booman.”
Me too. I started hanging out here in March for a number of reasons: the stellar writing talents; the kinder, gentler, more repsectful atmosphere (I noticed a certain front-page attitude elsewhere that I didn’t care for a long time ago); and the more relaxed pace of things.
It really made me sad today to see how much time and energy the events of a few weeks ago on another website are using up here.
Well said, SallyCat.
Dear God, please, make it stop.
I made the following comment on MarkInSanFran’s thread:
Now the ratio is 19/233.
And here comes the next installment in this seemingly endless series.
This is my first comment ever in any pie-war related post, and I know it may be rude.
But dear God, please, make it stop.
They’re absent any relevant policy or media positions to discuss. They serve only a select few people who wish to stir up the pot for their own self-serving emotional reasons. Further, within the realm of the issue they represent, they resolve nothing in that matter. It’s wankery. Hot air. Evanescent bits, wasted in the inet abyss. Please – do not hit recommend. Further, if you hit recommend on that obnoxious alternate diary of a similar name, please consider hitting “unrecommend” and letting the whole thing die a well deserved death. JMO! –M
I have decided that I love these diaries. Sallycat just posted a cat picture and I’m going to try to post a doggy photo……I have a lot to learn about photo posting, so here goes
…as long as you have somewhere to upload a picture to.
let’s say you upload a picture named trial.jpg to, say, militarytracy.com and put it in a folder called images.
the correct tag would be – note that you will need to put brackets around it – < to open and > to close
img src=”http://militarytracy.com/images/trial.jpg“
of course, don’t click on that link, because it is fake
if you don’t have a server you use or a place to host photos, I’m sure someone here could help
so, using a graphic off my server, here’s an example. You can examine the page source on, I think, any browser, and you will see the code. the graphic is called emperor_zellpatine.jpg
without the brackets, you’ll just have:
img src=”http://rollerderbysuperstar.com/emperor_zellpatine.jpg“
add the opening and closing brackets…and…voila
I really don’t like it when people post my photo without asking first damn it!
All those with a deep and abiding desire to Fight for Dkos, please think about not wasting time over here right now and just jump into the frey at DKos. It will be time well spent. And I sincerely mean that.
Everyone else, as you were.
See everyone over at Happy Hour in the Froggy Bottom Cafe! Some very fine drinks being served right now.
REG: Listen. The only people we hate more than the Romans are the fucking Judean People’s Front.
P.F.J.: Yeah…
JUDITH: Splitters.
P.F.J.: Splitters…
FRANCIS: And the Judean Popular People’s Front.
P.F.J.: Yeah. Oh, yeah. Splitters. Splitters…
LORETTA: And the People’s Front of Judea.
P.F.J.: Yeah. Splitters. Splitters…
REG: What?
LORETTA: The People’s Front of Judea. Splitters.
REG: We’re the People’s Front of Judea!
LORETTA: Oh. I thought we were the Popular Front.
REG: People’s Front! C-huh.
FRANCIS: Whatever happened to the Popular Front, Reg?
REG: He’s over there.
P.F.J.: Splitter!
::banging my head against the wall over and over and over::
why am i bothering to respond to this diary? maybe ignoring it would send a stronger message than responding to it.
but frankly, this diary makes me angry. i’m not angry because the diarist likes dkos. but i’m angry at the self-importance of dkos defenders who somehow feel the liberal universe revolves around kos. i’m angry about yet another post trying to herd the strays back into the fold. kos made an important contribution to political activism by having a vision for grassroots blog software.
but neither kos, nor his website, are the center of liberal/progressive/leftist universe. kos is just another guy with a blog and his own opinions and his own ego. some of his opinions i agree with. some i disagree with. some i find sexist and disrespectful of issues i care about.
but kos is not the voice of the left any more than i am the voice of the left. and the dkos blog is no more the voice of the left than any other progressive or liberal blog.
so i don’t feel any particular desire to “fight” for kos or the soul of the dkos blog. and i am angered by the kos-centered perspective of those who say i should. markos, and the dkos blog, are a small part of the liberal/left/progressive universe. they are not the center of it. and i’m tired of people suggesting we should all gravitate there.
but i’m angry at the self-importance of dkos defenders who somehow feel the liberal universe revolves around kos.
I’ve seen it before, actually, in some members of left sectarian cults like Worker’s World or the Revolutionary Communist Party: their whole existence is wrapped up in The Group. If you question The Group’s importance to your life, the cultists feel it as a direct insult.
Shatner Moment: It’s just a website. So is this. (I like this one better, but still.) As wonderful and important as some of the writing and discussion on the web is, especially here, I would venture to say that most people here make far more important contributions to society offline than online.
yep…been there too…
There are over 50,000 people over there. I am sick of this blog being dragged into your gd immature idiotic battles. People left there because they felt baggered and disrespected and now you kos kids stalk them over here. Please let it the fuck go!!
Booman and Tribe, my apologies but I am so sick of this childish crap. This is a nice, peaceful, cohesive community. I really hate this place being hijacked like this.
I was born one and I will be one until the day I die. Anything that belittles me or marginalizes me isn’t worth my spit let alone worth fighting for. Much love, I’m sure you mean well but reality is reality and I am one of those reality based individuals.
HEY EVERYONE! LOOK OVER HERE. . . .
There are your Froggy Friends actually having a good time and enjoying themselves at HAPPY HOUR in the Cafe! Come on over and join us. . .or there is actual good reading in the Library of diaries other than this. . . .
I’m having a beer.
Are are these two beauties the ones that keep you safe (from this post here)?
They’re absolutely gorgeous!
They are two pups from my last litter, brother and sister. Thank you for the compliment!!! My next litter I’m going to try a frozen dad and I hope that it works. His name was McKinley, but he isn’t with us anymore…..he is sadly deceased but they froze some of him. Going to try to put up a photo of him now too. What the hell! Let’s have some fun!
May I add something for those beloved tin foil mad as hatters out there too (such as myself). Clint Curtis is scheduled to have one of McKinleys pups in hopes of replacing his German Shepherd that was shot while he was testifying in D.C. He did get a new shepherd but it doesn’t seem to have much in common with the big guy that he lost so we are hoping to remedy that with this next litter coming up.
I wear it often ;o)
Read that about Curtis’ dog a while back. What an interesting connection.
Your dogs are really something – the pic of McKinley ^ is stunning. Very regal.
Thank you so much Olivia, it is such a relief to know I’m not the only person who likes foil! Thank you so much for the compliments on my pooches too, they are a labor of love.
Come on over and see us! (We are such diary whores!)
n/t
Oh, CabinGirl. . .you are such a tease! LOL
Alert! Alert! Diary Hijack! Get you elbows on the bar at the Froggy Bottom Cafe!
http://www.boomantribune.com/?op=displaystory;sid=2005/6/22/85041/5254
Stolen from MSOC at C&J today!
My apologies to the Tribe and Booman….couldn’t resist the picture…
Why is Kos worth fighting for? Because to not fight does two terrible things. One is it hands Mr. Rove a great wedge issue to beat us with. It exposes our internal fracture lines just when we need to build a coalition. Kos is a coalition and one much larger than any other so far. To turn our backs on that organization would be foolish.
To run from the dKos community would be to violate my core tenant as a Liberal – to be Ok with other, conflicting world views.
Let me try to help you, in the same spirit your diary tries to help all of us.
Is dKos worth fighting for? For you, the answer is yes. For me the answer is no. Now, if you follow your own core tenant as a liberal, you’ll see you should respect folks who feel differently. Please do.
Now, to help you further understand that we aren’t discounting your own fight by choosing not to adopt it as our own, let me address your conclusion.
“Hands Rove an issue to beat us with.”
First off, Markos’ hostility and disrespect of his own allies is gold to Rove. I suggest you work with him on that. Talking to us won’t help. Sure, we could play nice if we’d just forgive him sans apology, sans any behavior changes… just bite our tongues and hope he doesn’t spout off something stupid and disrespectful to his own community again soon. Pretending a problem doesn’t exist never solves a problem, it only postpones resolution. Think Iraq.
“Exposes our internal fracture lines…”
Yes, we have them. So does the right. But here’s an interesting take on this situation — the only time I see anything remotely negative about dKos or its management is when some well-meaning person comes over and hassles the departed to rejoin. Let me assure you, we haven’t left the faith, we’re just attending a different church. I don’t think protestants weaken Christianity, merely the papacy. Are you a Democrat, a Liberal, a Progressive, or just merely a kossack?
“Kos is a coalition and one much larger than any other so far. To turn our backs on that organization would be foolish.”
Really? I’d say before dKos there was other liberal blogs, and in fact the DLC. Both were bigger when dKos started. So was it foolish to weaken them? Or was it just tending to an underrepresented community?
“To run from the dKos community would be to violate my core tenant as a Liberal – to be Ok with other, conflicting world views.”
So, if you found yourself at LGF or Freeperville, would your core tenant as a liberal force you to stick around? Or would you realize it was a mistake?
I’m tired of the high-minded rhetoric coming from people with very self-oriented agendas.
You don’t represent Markos. He invited folks to leave, and gave them places to try out for a better fit.
You want us all to be one big happy family, because its easier for you. You only need to stand up in one place to be heard by the biggest audience of liberal bloggers, in the one place with a reputation of being biggest and best. You want all the stuff posted that may be of interest to you to be in one place, so you don’t have to go hunting around for it. If its important, you’d see it because it’d be on dKos, there would be no other place.
Heck, that might be a nice place if it existed. Markos had a chance to create that place. But he declined. Such a place would put community above any one person’s agenda. It would be a very humbling role to lead such a place. He wasn’t up to the challenge.
So right now, that place doesn’t exist. Sure, folks could pretend that it does. But that’d just be us chatting in the pews and the church basement. The pulpit is reserved for one man and his close supporters. And don’t you question the preacher.
Now, what I find particularly galling about these types of diaries and comments is the desire to have us settle for a double-standard that even the highly acclaimed blogmaster and his crew would balk at.
Your reasons for wanting us all to return to dKos are:
Spiffy.
On point #3, I’ll just say — we can be part of a coalition with dKos without ever once visiting — not reading, not commenting. And Markos knows this. I’ve never seen him try to poach readers from Atrios, but he frequently highlights and spotlights Atrios stories. Is Markos concerned that Atrios readers aren’t part of the coalition. No. That’s so silly its stupid.
On points #1 and #2 — I don’t see Markos or Armando sacrificing their principles to force false endorsement. Case in point — Lieberman.
Neither Armando nor Markos endorse Lieberman. Heck, its safe to say they talk trash about him. Even tho he’s shares many of their philosophies, votes for as much or more of their legislation than some of the Senators they talk about approvingly (see Nelson-NE),they regularly rip into him. Or at least they did when I hung out there, and I’ll assume they’ve never issued an apology or retraction on it, so its safe to say they still feel that way about him.
By your logic, in order to support all Democrats, they’d have to never speak ill of him. If they even stated factual flaws with him (as some have done elsewhere with Markos/Armando/dKos), it give “Rove a wedge”, it “disturbs the coalition”, it “closes the tent”, it “enforces a purity test”, it “weakens the community”.
Doesn’t that sound, well, hypocritical? I mean, expecting us to behave better than the site hierarchy, except only towards them, of course.
Republicans are the party of hypocrisy in the pursuit of ideology, never saying you’re sorry, and ignoring personal principles for party gains. Just ask a moderate Republican.
Please don’t ask me to become the blog equivalent of a moderate republican.
I can be a loyal Democrat, Progressive, Liberal, blogger, whatever, and do it a great distance from Mecca, er, dKos. I’m not fundamentalist about my blog.
And meaning no offense to those who are, its really none of their damn business where I go.
And it doesn’t help when they use specious logic to convince me I must return to the fold.
As a liberal, one of my core tenants is tolerance. I tolerate people of differing beliefs. That doesn’t mean I sacrifice my own to make them feel good about themselves. That doesn’t mean threats or dogma can get me to act against my own self-interest.
It means I try to respectfully dialog with folks I disagree with, but I never, ever, give up the right to call them as I see them. If we can find common ground, all the better.
You want a strong coalition? Great. I’m all for it. But a dKos-centric model is doomed to failure. It, by design, takes a fairly narrow centrist view on political life. It excludes small but critical groups. It doesn’t appeal to wavering Republicans with its freeperlike dialog. It doesn’t appeal to Reagan Democrats. It doesn’t appeal to strong feminists. It doesn’t appeal to lots of folks, left-right-and-center, who the Democrats need in order to win in 2006.
And it never will
If you think I’m wrong, prove me wrong. Go change dKos for the better.
But forgive me if I stay elsewhere in the meantime. I think there are smarter ways to form coalitions than to try to usurp a blogmaster and hijack his site to make it what he has decidedly determined it is not.
very well done. Keep up the great writing.
Thank you, I really appreciate your post.
What is your definition of a Liberal?
song some years ago — a maddening song, but the more you sing it, the more you will dissolve in laughter.
So every time you see one of these diaries, SING WITH ME!
This is a song that never ends,
It just goes on and on, my friend —
Some people started singing it,
Not knowing what it was . . .
And they’ll continue singing it
Forever, just because
This is a song that never ends,
It just goes on and on, my friend —
Some people started singing it,
Not knowing what it was . . .
And they’ll continue singing it
Forever, just because
This is a song that never ends,
It just goes on and on, my friend —
Some people started singing it,
Not knowing what it was . . .
And they’ll continue singing it
Forever, just because
This is a song that never ends,
It just goes on and on, my friend —
Some people started singing it,
Not knowing what it was . . .
And they’ll continue singing it
Forever, just because
This is a song that never ends,
It just goes on and on, my friend —
Some people started singing it,
Not knowing what it was . . .
And they’ll continue singing it
Forever, just because
This is a song that never ends,
It just goes on and on, my friend —
Some people started singing it,
Not knowing what it was . . .
And they’ll continue singing it
Forever, just because. . . .
Okay, I’ll stop now. G’night, Shari Lewis and Lambchop.
Cool. How’s it go after that?
I’m dissolving in laughter at your reply.
SINGALONG! This is a song. . . .
I agree with you …. mostly.
Some of us have other important fish to fry. My VSD series has been handled lightly or ignored at dKos. Here, one made the recommended list the other day and pulled a lot of good comments and ideas.
I have a new one here today. It had gone off the radar at kos after about half an hour. It got two comments; one was mine.
If a concept that I value is consistently ignored–shouldn’t I be posting it somewhere else? And shouldn’t I be spending my time where something is happening?
I don’t want to lose dKos. But I need to fry my own fish more than I personally care.
I still post there. But at this rate…why continue?
FROGGY BOTTOM CAFE
COME DANGLE YOUR FEET IN THE POND
The combined pressures of work, two family illnesses and just plain exhaustion have kept me away for several days, and I’m sad to return and see that anyone is still breathing fallout from the late unpleasantness.
I commented at the time that because I’m fairly well inured to anti-woman groupthink, it doesn’t affect me as deeply as it might. Someone responded that perhaps that was because my sensibilities had been dulled over the years, but that that didn’t make it OK.
The second part of that statement was as right as the first part was mistaken, but feelings were running so high at the time that I decided to leave it alone. It might not make any more difference now than it would have then, but I’m going to explain what I meant anyway.
All I know about this kind of thing is what I’ve been taught by antiabortion extremists — the only good they’ve ever done me.
I began working at our abortion-providing clinic on March 10, 1993 — the very day Dr. David Gunn was murdered by Michael Griffin in Florida. Later that year, my friend Dr. George Tiller was shot twice by Shelley Shannon, but recovered, and currently and notoriously is being persecuted by Kansas AG Phill Kline. Paul Hill shotgunned Dr. John Britton and his escort, James Barrett to death in Pensacola in 1994, and seriously wounded Mrs. Barrett. In December of that year, Leanne Nichols and Shannon Lowney, two women who do my job, were shot down at their desks by John Salvi in Brookline, Massachusetts. Eric Rudolph, in addition to his other crimes, killed an off-duty police guard and maimed nurse Emily Lyons in a clinic bombing in Birmmingham in 1996. In 1998, James Kopp shot from ambush and killed Dr. Bart Slepian as he was heating soup for his children in his own kitchen.
I recite this sad litany only to emphasize that, for me, antiabortion violence isn’t something read about in the paper or seen on the news. Even though I haven’t personally experienced anything worse than slashed tires, threats and a couple of stalkers, it is always in my mind that everyone who has committed such acts of violence had protested in a more socially acceptable fashion for years before taking action.
I have very strong feelings about all of that, and sometimes those feelings used to be hard to deal with.
These people angered me, and mine was a righteous and justifiable anger.
They threatened me, and mine was a realistic and justifiable fear.
But the most insidious thing they did was to distract me from the reason that I drew their attention in the first place. And then I realized that they weren’t doing that to me at all; I was doing it to myself.
My reactions to who they were and what they did took my energy, and that in turn weakened my purpose and effectiveness, but only because I let it be that way. Only I could give them my power.
That is when I realized that if I wasn’t going to let them stop me, there was no point at all in letting them have me. So I don’t let other people’s agendas mark my boundaries, although of course you and others might have perfectly valid personal reasons of your own for doing so.
Many people here came to the realization that they just can’t afford that anymore, and with all due respect, it’s time to leave it alone.