All right, listen up, you pencilneck liberals! This is your hero1, “Jesse the Body” Ventura2, filling in for that geekling, pastordan.
pastordan says he doesn’t have a problem tonight. Personally, I think he’s full of it, you know? But he says, “Yesterday, I celebrated four years, three-hundred-sixty-four days, 23 hours, and 55 minutes more wedded bliss than I ever thought I’d have. I ain’t got no problems.”
And to top it off, that sorry sack of suck went to see that liberal wimpus Michael Feldman this week, with The Funky Drummer, Clyde Stubblefield, playing in the “Whad’ya Know?” trio. So maybe he doesn’t have a problem. On the other hand, he also saw Boooob Dylan and Willie Nelson this week, too. Willie’s my man–Pancho and Lefty!–but Bob? Don’t care if he is from Hibbing…
Well, anyhoo, since the pastor claims not to have a problem, he asked me to fill in for him3.
So here’s my idea, pencilnecks! Karl Rove has been going around the country all but calling you a bunch of traitorous sissies. He’s been pissing on your legs for five years now, and you’ve been putting up with it.
But this time,he’s gone too far, which is where I come in4.
What?
Anyway, grab your feather boas and get down to Madison Square Gardens, ’cause I’ve arranged a little steelcage DEATHMATCH this coming Sunday Sunday Sunday, starring your favorite Turdblossom and…
Well, it’s up to you, you geeks! Vote for your favorite opponent to meet Dr. Destructo in the STEEL CAGE OF DOOM!!
Heh.
Now, where’d I put my prednisone?
1 This is, of course, a lie.
2 Lies, all lies.
3 Sadly, this is true.
4 Oh, if only the governor knew how true this was…
WMFP?
National borders. As always. Still longing for a world sans frontieres
And Ductape Fatwa has been missing (presumed?) about three weeks now.
on the wedding anniversary =)
Well, thank you.
What happened to the ductape?
Good question. Hasn’t been seen since 5/6, which is unusual. And long enough for paranoid birds like me to be getting their feathers ruffled.
I’m ready for Rove.
In case anyone has missed it, my fucking problem is Markos’s unbelievably MORONIC decision to overhaul the layout of a site which, for all intents and purposes (and I do mean ALL) was nearly PERFECT.
RenaRF helped me slip a stylesheet/skin over it, which has SOMEWHAT ameliorated my utter despair over the aesthetic destruction; but it still sucks ASS for any NEW visitors.
I give him a MONTH of losing site hits before he caves and puts the universe back in order.
RIDICULOUS. Simply APPALLING.
Heh. I think he’s more stubborn than that.
I’d have voted for you if you were a choice.
I have an excruciatingly dorky FP: I’ve been trying to write an angry post on my blog about Rove’s comments, but I want to use statistics I’ve seen somewhere about enlisted soldiers not being predominately Republican. Now that I’m looking for it, I can’t find it anywhere.
Also, I made angel-hair pasta, and I completely overcooked it. It was more the consistency of angel-hair creme rinse. That made me pretty angry.
ex-Sen. Fred Thompson. (minority counsel, Senate Select Committee on Presidential Campaign Activities (“Watergate Committee”) 1973-1974.) If he’s still licensed to practice.
Best line:
“This business will get out of control. It will get out of control and we’ll be lucky to live through it.” [Hunt for Red October]
I’d like to suggest an “other.”
How about the creature from Alien? They are similarly reptilian, so it would be a fair fight. They both excrete acid – one from its blood, the other from its mouth. I’m sure if you popped into Rove’s office unannounced, you’d find him skittering along the ceiling. He’s taken all the Repugnicans and encapsulated them in cocoons where they are kept barely alive (sustained by RNC funds) waiting to be used as fuel. Yup – I’m thinking if Turdblossom’s going mano-a-mano with anyone – that’s gotta be the mano.
i voted other. My other being Ghandi. Especially if the deathmatch is a fast.
Go Gandhi. Satyagraha strikes again!
Rove may not have the discipline, but he’s certainly built up a little more, uh capital…
Let’s just lay it on the line, Rove’s a pig, a big one.
How’d that piggy get in the frog pond?
I would love to see Spitzer kick Rove’s fat flabby ass. At least it would provide a sizable target. My problem? Where to start? I won’t bore you but once again I have a headache and can’t take much because of my other meds.
Ooh, I forgot about Elliot. He might impale Rove on that nose of his…
My problem…
I’m leaving for Europe tomorrow (Hi – Jerome and Plutonium Page, you’re still letting me crash at your place, right?) and I can’t find these CD’s for the plane ride.
U2 – Joshua Tree
Van Morrison – Moondance
Joni Mitchell – Miles of Aisles
Ella Fitzgerald – Live in Berlin
Where are they??? The cases are empty…Did you guys borrow them and forget to put them back?
Republican hypocritical ass clowns.
Rove makes an ass of himself by making a comment that accused half the country of wanting to “give therapy” to the fundamentalists – even though support for going after Bin Laden was almost unanimous (where is he again Rove? . . . Oh – you mean we left to invade Iraq before we got him, and now we “aren’t really that concerned”?)
And they rush to defend him.
But . . .
They got them all.
They are playground bullies. We all had to deal with them growing up. They are good at intimidating until someone stands up to them. Then we get to see them cry . . . possibly with wet pants.
I say let them continue to act like lying, cheating, vicious thugs. The American people are beginning to recognize it for what it is – and will act accordingly when it comes time to vote.
I want…I want…I want to see Mr. Rove’s hard, little, dried out, pea-sized heart soften and expand and EXPLODE with love for everyone!
But, alas, it is so effing hot and humid my mind is mush. I can not even think of who or what experience might bring this about…Pollyanna? Mother Theresa? A burning bush?
Is that I really screwed up this afternoon. I went to this truly awesome Austin Moving Forward event which had George Lakoff as the keynote speaker. adastra – our usual recorder and photographer at such things didn’t want to go, so I took his little recorder gizmo and tried to do it myself.
Recorded everything just fine except Lakoff’s talk. And it was fuckin’ brilliant. You should have heard how he explained the diabolical Rovian strategy . . .
Hmmmm. Bush is going down in the polls, support for war eroding. What to do, what to do. Let’s see, 1) link the war to 9-11, 2) portray Bush as a strong war leader, 3) remind everyone that liberals are wimps. And he manages to do all this IN ONE SENTENCE!!!
And the D’s fall all over themselves saying “I am not a wimp!!” “Me neither, I’m not a wimp either!!” And every time they do, Rove’s ONE SENTENCE gets more air time. That tactic worked so well for Nixon when he said, “I am not a crook.”
How many times do I have to tell you guys, (says Lakoff), DO NOT TAKE THE ROVIAN BAIT! Do not play defense!! Offense guys, offense.
Bush lied about the war. Downing Street Minutes. Offense. Offense. Never say, “I am not a wimp.” Change the fucking topic to Bush lied. Offense. Offense.
[Now off to beat myself around the head and shoulders for recording failures.]
before we teach them to stop saying “I am not a wimp”, we have to teach them not to apologize for speaking the truth. And never let them see you cry. I learned that lesson at my second job, in 1970 – and I’m a girl! (well, I was a girl…)
like, say, telling the truth, is worse than saying “I am not a wimp.”
It’s saying “I AM a wimp.”
Wait a minute…
Are you saying you’re a boy now?
Or “just” a woman?
LOL – nope! not a boy – and “just” a woman? are you kidding? I’d mention this to Mrs. Pastor, but I want you to have a happy anniversary! (please do, by the way!)