You remember the George Bush of post 9/11 when he gave all good Americans a prescription they could follow for assisting in the war on terror. I can’t remember the exact quote. Something about going shopping. Or going on vacation. You recall it, right?
Well, I’ve been a good American on days 6-8 of my willful summer of ignorance. Heck, I even started on the evening of day 5. I went on a mini-vacation and shopped to my heart’s content. Personally, it was my best-ever weekend fighting the War on Terror. Naturally, I was stunned to return home and catch up in my reading from my one allowable news source: the NYTs. My personal efforts had no impact. In fact, judging from the headlines, my weekend effort may have been counterproductive. We’re still getting our ass kicked around the globe. Bombs everywhere I say. Random searches. And shooting people – almost at random. What a wonderful world. I’m sorry I failed in my mission Mr. Prez. You dim feeb.
Here on day 8, in a post-consumption haze, I am completely unmoored, as far as the news goes. I can’t even seem to lump the stories into any effective narrative. They are just random happenings over three days. And frequently, I find with the once per 24-hour news cycle, contradictory. The headline on one day can be easily reversed the next. London Police Gun Down Suspected Terrorist with Likely Connection to the 7/7 bombings becomes Victim of Police Shooting Has No Bomb – No Ties to Terror. Unlike the 24 hour news cycle which is self correcting on an ongoing basis.
I’ve decided on a change from the daily reports I was issuing in my first days of this experiment. I just don’t see the value to it anymore. I never felt like the brightest bulb in the bloggosphere, but now I feel like the least among you. I don’t know what stories you are following, and I don’t know why the stories I was following so closely with you (mainly Rovegate at the time I began my news boycott) don’t get much ink in the NYTs. But, I completely feel dumbed down. I’ve got nothing interesting to say. About the news anyway. So I’m cutting back to once every few days or so. As my new life in the world without anything but the NYTs permits.
I’ll leave you with some notes from the War on Terror, from a consumer-soldier’s perspective. It is far more interesting than anything news related I could say. I had quite the weekend.
Started the vacation, as all good vacations should start, at a baseball game Friday night. And, I snared a rocket line drive that was smashed toward my four year old daughter’s seat. It was the greatest catch by a fan I have ever seen. I received well-deserved applause. Great start to vacation. Can I get a witness? Bottom 3 on Friday at the Lugnuts if any other bloggers where there.
Mini-vacationed in Toronto. Stopped at the border for first time ever and routed through Canadian Immigration because we didn’t have birth certificates for kids. Thank god we are safer.
Picked the Sheraton Centre near City Hall because of its proximity to our favorite restaurant, Alice Fazooli’s. And upon arrival had the misfortune of learning that the Sheraton was hosting the 2005 American Trial Lawyer’s Association convention. I used to belong, before I decided that I pretty much detested lawyers. A weekend perusing the city with a couple of thousand U.S. trial lawyers skulking about. Not exactly paradise.
Tried to avoid news. Saw a headline or two. Man Killed in Tube. And while trying to avoid scenes from the news, I actually walked past Howard Dean. I didn’t even notice him at first. My wife saw him. Pointed him out. Short little feller. Couldn’t think of much to say, so said nothing. Guess he must have been there to talk to the trial lawyers.
Spent lots of money to aid the war effort. Drank great drinks. Ate good food. Watched the Taming of the Shrew done well.
Got stopped on the border for the second time in my life on the way home. A random agricultural inspection. I passed. Yee-haw.
Now facing a week of no news. Will talk more later.
Your uninformed servant.
