It’s been over three weeks now since I’ve gone away from blogdom and sought my news only from the NYTs. And, I can only be sure I’ve learned one thing. I am cancelling the NYTs subscription as soon as I release myself from this self-imposed media prison.
I just got done reading the Times this morning. “Reading” might be a bit strong as a characterization for my interaction with the newspaper. It would be more fair to say that I just got done “browsing” the Times. I read the headlines, and an ever decreasing number of articles. I’ve got absolutely no interest in most of the stuff they print. I don’t remember hardly anything I read a day ago. Two days ago is an eternity. And, now, sitting here having just “browsed” the paper, I can only really recall one story that stuck with me.
Apparently, General Motors is making a van for the Chinese market that gets 43 miles per gallon and costs $5,000 retail. I guess they don’t think such a product has much future in America, because it has only a quarter of the horse power of American mini-vans, tops out at 81 miles per hour, and the upholstery is lacking to American tastes. What complete idiots. I would personally sign up to sell these machines, and I completely hate car salesman. Still, I bet I could outsell anyone in my own city with this product. Oh yeah. The guy who ran the plant and designed these ghastly vehicles. General Motors has let him go. I couldn’t even make it to the rest of the story on page C14 (or where ever it was). Too floored by the idiocy.
That’s it. That’s what I remember from my daily news source five or ten minutes ago. And, I don’t mean to say the NYTs is worthless. Maybe it is me that is worthless, as a news consumer. Because I know there are a lot of great stories I just skip over now, out of boredom. But, I just don’t give a crap about the news that is fit to print, or the way that they print it. I guess news has changed. All Internet, all the time, when I am done with this crap. Oh, and I miss NPR, too. A lot.
On the plus side of things, life has taken a few cool new twists in these past newsless days. First, the cover design for novel number one is done, and it looks pretty cool, if I do say so. That makes life without any real news a little better. Second, I found the time to take on a very small local battle over encroachments onto wetlands in my neighborhood. I feel like it is a sure loser, but it is good to advocate locally for something you believe in. Quite a rush, and frankly more activism than I have been directly involved with for years. Third, and best of all, I have found a new way to waste time, and I want to be sure I share this wisdom with all of you (or none of you – the ratings for my little diatribes don’t seem to be faring all that well, but who really cares).
When you got no news, you have a lot of time on your hands. I have done all kinds of crap trying to find ways to waste time now. My entertainment budget is busted. Movies all the time. Renting old TV series (check out Northern Exposure on DVD if you can). Games with the kids, which is cool. Lots of minor league baseball and mini-vacations. Museums. Books I’ve been meaning to read and hadn’t (check out No Logo – finally got through it). Organic gardening, or at least preparations for a full time takeover of my chemically dependent lawn next year. It has been a rich, if trite, life. But, while I was looking for organic supplies at Home Depot (forgive me father for I have shopped at a multi-national corporation), I came across the greatest time killer ever. Did you know that you can go to something like Home Improvement College at Home Depot? And, it is free. They have a gigantic class schedule on the outside of the store. Things like – Monday, learn to build a deck. Tuesday – Refinishing your cabinetry. Wednesday – etc, etc, etc.
I, like Napoleon Dynamite, having virtually no skills, have a panacea of free education ahead of me.
I am only half serious though. Because the whole thing kind of creeps me out. I know what the classes will be like. They will be like those people who try to sell you time shares when you are gambling in Vegas. They will promise you complimentary meals and shows (or in the case of Home Depot, complimentary classes) if you will just spend a couple of days listening to their sales pitch. But, such is higher education in America today. Get your corporate pitch and a free education. I think it is total bullshit. But, I am pretty bored without news. Hmmm.
I am so glad you’re nearing the end! I have felt for you.
I read the NYT on the web yesterday and all I remembered was the car story, too. Probably because OUTRAGE fried all my other news memories.
Those Home Depot classes? I suspect you’ve got them nailed, so to speak. After you take one or two, pretty please come to the Cafe and tell us if they did turn out to be Amway sessions. I have searched in vain all over this city (KC) for classes in simple carpentry, plumbing, etc. There are junior college courses, but I don’t want to learn how to install a hot water heater, I just want to fix a leaky faucet and all the home repair books I’ve seen make me want to run screaming from the room, much as I wanted to run screaming from the NYT story about the cheap fuel-efficient car that ONLY THE CHINESE CAN BUY. Sorry, outrage trigger is a bit touchy this morning.
Only a few more days! Wish we could pass water bottles to you as you trudge along the dusty road.
Do they still offer “communiversity” classes in KC?
If so, you might go to one of the independent, family-owned hardware stores that are still trying to hang on, and tell the manager/owner: “I know how you can get some customers: Have one of your staff offer a communiversity class for people like me in basic home repair – How to fix faucets, replace a switch without electrocuting myself, install a ceiling light or ceiling fan, etc.” If store A doesn’t bite, store B might. You can also call communiversity to let them know what you’re up to. Then you hook the store manager up with the communiversity coordinator (listed on the brochure or website) and they take it from there. You show up and learn.
When I was a teenager in Philly my dad signed me and my younger brother up for a class at a local auto repair shop where we learned stuff like how to check and change oil, spark plugs, etc. It was great, and good advertising for the non-chain-store business.
I believe they do still offer them, though now that you mention it I haven’t seen them mentioned in a while, which is probably why I forgot all about them. Thanks for the reminder. (The last one I attended, years ago, was given by a man who turned out to be a murderer–killed three people one night, including himself. Maybe that’s why I have unconsciously steered away from any more communiversity classes, lol.)
The idea about approaching the locally-owned hardware store near me is a terrific idea.
BostonJoe, I don’t mean to hijack your thread, but you started this! 🙂
Dem in Knoxville? I just happened to be walking past my hardware store a little while ago, so I went in and asked about classes and then dropped a bug in their ear about starting some. I could tell one of the men was really interested, even mentioned holding classes in their basement. Maybe a bit of happy synchronicity will occur, if this is meant to be.
Just wanted to thank you for the idea.
Hi Joe!
There are still a few of us diehards out here observing your experiment in fascination and horror LOL.
Funny – I went to the NYT on line, and the only story that stuck with me was the GM in China story, too. For the same reason – I was yelling WTF at the computer – Why can’t we buy one of these here?
BMT community news you might be interested in: There’s going to be a BMT photo exhibit for everyone to post their best digital pictures the second weekend of September… We had out first BMT “Friday Night Jazz Jam” last week and it went really well, if you’re into jazz/blues…
One benefit of a non-chemical lawn is that you’ll find a lot more biodiversity creeps back in over time. Yes, some of that biodiversity will be “weeds” but a lot will be in the form of butterflies, dragonflies, lizards, birds, etc. And if you have a fish pond / water garden, frogs. It turns out that Roundup is extremely toxic to amphibia, and they’ve actually just discovered that it’s not the active ingredient that’s the problem but one of the “inert” ingredients…
We’ve got a fish pond that’s maybe 100 gallons that we put in after a tree fell over on the house in a storm, creating a big hole when the roots popped out of the earth. This is its second full summer, and we’ve had two frogs that just appeared and took up residence. So far they seem to be leaving the goldfish alone; I guess they’re eating the water striders or something…
I have a non-chemical lawn that I started a few years ago, and you can’t tell it from the chemical yards around me except that the green looks, in my opinion, more natural. (I don’t do it myself. I looked until I found an all-natural service.) I never use the watering system that came with my house, so I do let my grass go dormant more than my neighbors do, but that doesn’t hurt it, either. Those over-watered lawns are beginning to look really strange to me–soggy and “blue.”
Our lawn has been nonchemical since we moved in, and it looks it. LOL I prefer to think of it as “promoting biodiversity” and “cutting down on nonessential expenses to help put the kids through college.” It makes it easier to deal with.
And society ever collapses due to peak oil, I can eat the dandelions and plantain… 😉
Hey Joe, so the Chinese get a $5000, 43 mpg minivan from GM..of course can’t sell anything like that here cause everyone in the good old USA is living the good life and rolling in money..we don’t need no stinkin cheap cars here, no sirreee.
This has just been great vicarious fun being in on your great NYT news experiment.
Looking forward to the novel and do we get to see the cover?