BREAKING: Bush goes to Prairie Chapel Road

CRAWFORD, Texas (APE) – Surprising his critics today, President George W. Bush left his ranch compound and journeyed to Prairie Chapel Road, to the confrontation that he has avoided for the duration of his slated five week vacation. Prairie Chapel Road is the temporary home of “Camp Casey”, the location of a group of anti-war protesters that are spearheaded by Cindy Sheehan. Sheehan has vowed that she will not leave her position outside of the Bush ranch compound until he steps forward and discusses with her reasons why her son was killed in action in Iraq.  Late this afternoon under gathering storm clouds, President Bush made his way, driving his own pickup truck. Notably, he went with little Secret Service protection, down the 3 mile gravel road.

President Bush stated, “Even though I am on vacation and determined to kind of get along with my life, the people of America need to understand that their president is willing to listen.  We have a situation here where a good person is suffering, and feels helpless and frustrated with events.  If I must sacrifice a bit to see that they are heard and more importantly understood, I have always been willing to do so.”

(Exclusive photo after the fold.)

Bush continued, “I can’t really say what it was, but when I was watching the news last night I kind of felt the need to do this.  I have known Larry Mattlage for years.  He has been a great neighbor to me.  When times were slower, back when I was governor, we would go out treeing armadillos together.  I know that he would never threaten anybody… well heck; I figured that out for myself.  This is Texas, we’re all neighbors here.”

President Bush with neighbor Larry Mattlage on Prairie Chapel Road in Crawford Texas

Bush went on to spend approximately 30 minutes with Mr. Mattlage.  They compared shotguns, and the president himself was noted to discharge approximately five shells in rapid succession into the air to the appreciation of Mr. Mattlage, the Secret Service escort, and local sheriff’s deputies.

Bush concluded, “We look out for one another here in Texas and there is a true spirit of community.  We all work real hard to keep up the community of Crawford, and I can understand why Larry would be so upset with what could happen to his land.  We all volunteer regularly to keep this area tidied up.  After talking with Larry today, he brought to my attention that some of the ditches alongside the road here have become kind of filled up with refuse and the drainage is getting real bad.  I told Larry that after my trip to Illinois to the Caterpillar factory they loaned me a dozer for the next couple weeks out of appreciation.  Larry and I decided we’re going to take it upon ourselves to clean up some of the ditches around here.”

Cindy Sheehan was reached for comment and stated simply, “Bring it on.”