Suddenly in 2002, I realized that there were people called “liberals” who were held in serious disdain by the people who were called “conservatives.”
It happened the day we said to a family member that we thought Bush was wrong to attack Iraq, that Iraq had nothing to do with 9/11. All hell broke loose. It never occurred to me that this family member could not see it. They are highly educated, intelligent.
It did not register until during the confrontation I heard the word “liberal” being tossed about angrily. It took days before it all sank in. I realized they really had no clue, they only heard what the RNC said and what the military said. Much of their contacts were still in the military, and it never entered their minds to question.
Even sadder and scarier, I tried to share my heartbreak with another family member in another state. Again a well-educated, well-read individual whose family had fallen under Rush Limbaugh’s spell. They trusted him for their news. Another heartbreak there. We never really finished the conversation that day.
Yet another, one of my children, stunned me. He called to see why everyone was so angry with me. Apparently they had contacted him. I told him his Dad and I questioned the reasons for war. He said he trusted the president, and the others did as well.
He said it is not the time to be questioning our nation’s leader. This is not a stupid guy. He is a brilliant young man with a good life and several graduate degrees.
We have tried since then, but we can’t get back to where we were. I have made it clear that I am not going to back down, that when they are ready to talk….I am willing. But I told them they had better come well-armed to dispute me on things, as I had facts on my side.
We still try, our son calls. We talk about mundane things. It is really easier not to really talk much.
This family of mine was once one which never thought it would split apart like this. I think they all now know, they have to know by now…they have to know by now what horrible things Bush as done. As I say, they are nothing if not brilliant people.
But there is a stubbornness that lingers, and I have it as well. I feel like they left us hanging out to dry and questioned our patriotism and our understanding.
I never even thought of myself as anything but a moderate, religious person who cared about people. This president managed to turn my family upside down, and I am still dumbfounded at how it all happened.
I hear other stories, and the people always say to fix the problem….don’t let it go. But I don’t think some things are really fixable, not yet. I refuse to give up what I believe, and I have facts on my side.
It may not be fixed for a long time. Their power was so entrenched in our culture that we were divided before we even defined ourselves. It was a sudden onslaught of hate and anger that caught good people off guard.
I forgive them for the things they said, but that is all I can do right now. It is their turn to step up and realize they lost their country also.
..was that these family members were an economist, an engineer in remote weaponry (not the exact term, but close enough), and a psychologist. These are fields that should have allowed them to see the events as they unfolded.
Their educational level and their mental acuity makes it even harder to understand how brainwashed they have been.
I’m not sure about the psychologist but it seems to me that the other two would have been trained and conditioned to ignore the things that seem most important to you.
How can somebody make a living designing weapons without stopping to think how they will be used?
How can anyone study economics for any length of time without realizing that the “discipline” consists of rules and methods which count everything that can be expressed in dollars while ignoring everything else?
One must develop tunnel vision to engage in either weapons design or economics, in my view, especially if one is a bright and thoughtful person.
My opinion only … and it may not be worth more than you paid for it … but it’s based on a lifetime of experience!
Above all, your diary reminds me of the saying:
We keep making that mistake. We assume that if someone is disinterested in the crimes being committed by those in charge of the country, they’re not as intelligent as we are.
That’s BS.
Maybe it would be more accurate to say they respect and trust authority more than we do. That trait is the same whether its the stereotypical Texas Good-ol’ Boy, or the degreed members of your family, or the town of doctors and engineers I live in.
It doesn’t help that they have a near-blind faith in those leaders who agree with them, nor that they find plenty of “news” sources to reinforce their trust and belief.
You’re not alone, I’m sure a lot of us are in the same, sad place. Some of my family have come to the conclusion that I am deranged-well, possibly fair enough-but they think this because I dared to question the war, the patriot act,torture, etc. The woman who is most violently in favor of whatever the republicans do is an arbitrator and was, before retirement, a college professor. She used to be a moderate republican, now she seethes with hate. We were close once and I miss her, she was my favorite aunt. I have lost her and several friends, it’s hurtful. And as more and more news creeps into the mainstream about the lies and corruption, still they believe. I’ve given up on them, there is little point in argument as facts don’t count anymore with them. It’s sad and hard and I hope your son comes around eventually and that this time of division passes.
The tension in families, communities and countries is so apparent everywhere everyday. Don’t discount the ‘financial’ side of this rift either. Even as Democrats there is much divide and in-fighting. It is also tiring to agree to disagree.
Mending fences will take a long time- maybe that’s why Bush spends so much time at his ranch-‘It’s hard work.’