Truman to Republicans: Put `em up!
(The following is a political séance with Elizabeth and Harry S. Truman.)
“This is Bess Truman. I have a message for Mr. William O’ Reilly.“
“Little man, if you say one more nasty word about Cindy Sheehan or any other member of a Gold Star family, I will knock you into the middle of next week!“
“I have made it my business to keep my opinions to myself, but your outrageous hooligan behavior forces me to speak. Calling a grieving mother treasonous for petitioning the President? Saying `She had her chance’? What kind of man are you? Pretty cowardly in my opinion, which I don’t mind defending when you join us here in Heaven. That’s right, Mr. O’Reilly, I’m calling you out. If you want to pick a fight with a lady, come to me. I’ll jerk a knot in your tail. And you can tell your little friends Michelle Malkin and Melanie Morgan the same goes for them.”
“Stay on the line. Mr. Truman has something to say to you.”
(Click `There’s More’)
“Bill O’Reilly, this is Harry Truman.” 
“I’m glad Mrs. Truman insisted on talking to you first. Gave me a chance to cool down and calmly consider what a arrogant little streetwalker you are.“
“You’re an overpaid whore for the Republican Party, Bill. The question is, are you a whore with any decency or limits? How far will you go? Is there any obscene act you won’t perform in service to greed and power? Is there any lying propaganda you won’t push to please your Republican masters?”
“Will you stop vilifying mothers and widows of the fallen or continue to be a loathsome, lying bully who picks on women? In short, is there any limit to your mendacity? I hope so for your sake, because there is no `spin’ in Heaven. There will be a complete accounting of every lie, Bill, an accounting that is not subject to misdirection or debate. Think about that before you again impugn the sincerity and honor of a dead serviceman’s mother.“
“So far you’re only a liar and a whore, a relatively minor villain compared to your President. Unlike George Bush:”
- You have not violated a solemn obligation to preserve, protect and defend.
- You haven’t hijacked the Armed Forces of the United States to fight a corrupt war that profits your friends.
- You haven’t stolen the lives of thousands of people.
“These are capital crimes, Bill. Don’t be as feloniously irresponsible as your President. Stop while you’re a petty criminal.”
“That’s all for now. Mrs. Truman and I will be watching and waiting.”
(For a political séance with Richard Millhouse Nixon, please see Nixon: Dead and Loving It!)