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Vice President Dick Cheney on the front lines in New Orleans evicting survivors
New Orleans, LA (APE) – Vice president Dick Cheney, today at the behest of George Bush visited New Orleans for a first hand assessment at the ongoing efforts at disaster recovery in the aftermath of hurricane Katrina. When he arrived he felt compelled to roll up his sleeves and “pitch in”.
“When I heard that they would be doing house to house forced evictions today, my heart leapt”, said the Vice President. “I suited up and jumped right in. It’s been pretty quiet today, and people for the most part have been very co-operative, and leave after some reasoning and gentle persuasion. I am looking forward to tomorrow, as most folks say that it is likely to heat up. This is what America is all about, and I am proud to be a part of it.”
(Today’s Topical Limericks after the fold)
Republican Standoff
He’s claiming that he really regrets it,
While hoping everybody forgets it,
Dub investigates himself,
He’s a mischievous old elf,
“No one move, or the dumb white boy gets it!”
Talabani says Saddam has confessed,
Does this mean his execution’s been blessed?
Must Iraqis be wedded,
Lest Saddam is beheaded,
In this game of constitutional chess?
We’re all mourning the death of Bob Denver,
His Maynard and Gilligan were clever,
This super guy, safe to say,
Will never be cast away,
He’s on paradise island forever.
Hooray for the new “Wallace and Grommit”,
Flying in like a clay-mation comet!
With new life to stop motion,
Will directors take notion,
To lose some of this CGI vomit?
Here’s a morality tale from the crypt,
A woman, while relieving herself, slipped.
Best stick with dancing on graves,
`Less you’re incredibly brave,
Of course depending on how you’re equipped…