PlameGate – Danger! Bad Fitzmas Poetry

MSNBC has  an AP article about how today might be the day we finally know how big–or full of coal–Fitzmas stockings will be.  So, to honor ( or besmirch ) the occasion…

The Night Before Fitzmas

Twas the night before Fitzmas and all through the house,
grim facts on the TV even Rove could not douse.

The talking points stuffed to the gills with faux fare,
In hopes that Americans would not even care.

The targets were tucked all snug in their beds,
While visions of nooses snapped tight in their heads.
With ma in her nightie, my eyes on the news,
We had just settled in, having guzzled some booze.

When then on FoxNews their arose such a chatter,
I leaped from my couch to see Hannity got fatter.
Grabbing for the remote, I pumped up the volume,
And flipped to CNN to avoid the Fox Vacuum.

The pin on Wolf’s breast had the American Flag,
as he spoke of Fitzgerald’s cat out of the bag.
When what, to my wondering eyes should appear,
but a glorious image–Rove’s eyes filled with tears.

With a little old man, all decrepit and sick,
I knew in a moment it must be that Dick.
More rapid than eagles, his curses they came
with f-bombs and s-words and more of the same:

Now, f-you and screw you!
I’m no Richard Nixon!
This won’t mean a thing,
Dubya’s got the fix in!
To the top of this land
I have risen so tall
Fuck Powell, Fuck Scowcroft
Go Fuck Yourself, all!

As gutless Chicken-Hawks from a battle will shy,
when they meet with a draft-card just as you or I,
So out from the Naval Observatory he ran,
demon tail peeking out from his ample round can

And then in an inkling I felt from down deep,
I switched to MSNBC and laughed off the Veep.
As I drew in a breath and remembered to blink,
Old footage of Miller walking out of the clink.

She was dressed in street clothes and wore glasses of course,
To hide soulless eyes black as those of a horse.
She was smiling and waving but worried inside,
For she and dear Libby had something to hide.

On comes David Gregory from the White House lawn,
Looking wired, excited, saying Bush was a pawn.
His face showed hesitation as he wanted to grin.
Finally, FINALLY he’ll be rid of Rove spin!
Then Fitzgerald came on with stone face and large boxes,
took questions from newsmen, and patsies of Fox’s.
He spoke of the case and laid out the big maze,
The lies and half-truths that gave us all grays.

He was stern and succinct, a bit dull in fact,
but I didn’t care if he had zero tact.
A flick of a pen and a twist of the law,
And this guy had come in to see justice for all.

He spoke very few words, answered queries with skill,
filled Republican stomachs with antacid pills.
And laying his finger aside of his nose,
he told of how Bush gave the order to Rove.

He then said ‘Last question’ making pundits all bristle,
And took one on PlameGate v. Clinton’s near-dismissal.
And we heard him exclaim as he shut them up quick,
“It just isn’t treason when a woman sucks on your dick”.

Cross-posted at progprog

mcolley
I’m not liberal, I’m just paying attention