BREAKING! BREAKING! We interrupt this regularly scheduled blog entry to inform you Faux News is reporting that Babu Bhatt says that Patrick Fitzgerald is a bad man. A very, very bad man.
Who? What?
Remember the “Seinfeld” episode where Jerry earnestly attempts to ‘help’ a Pakistani immigrant (Babu Bhatt) operate his new restaurant and the end result, after a series of ‘unfortunate’ coincidences, is the deportation of Bhatt. Bhatt’s final words were: “Jerry Seinfeld is a bad man. A very, very bad man. “
Yes, quoting a fictional character from a sit-com–that’s the level to which FAUX has risen.
FAUX and its interchangeable collection of moving lips and puckering anuses have been scurrying through the countryside, overturning rocks and digging deep into solidified relics of compacted outhouse waste to find the ‘facts’ on Patrick Fitzgerald. FAUX is determined to unearth why Fitzgerald has such a fixated vendetta against the patriotic endeavors of dear Scooter.
To date:
Ann Bloater was quoted earlier by FAUX that she was told by the third cousin of of her uncle’s ninth son that Patrick Fitzgerald forgot a line in the Pledge of Allegiance one time in elementary school. Bloater has called this highly treasonous and is still deciding what the punishment should be. Some of her ‘fans’ have suggested reading any of her harpy-droppings-that-she-dares-to-call books would be the ultimate.
William Pistol of the Weekly Sub-Standard ranted in unison with former White House flack Harry Liesure on Sean Insanity’s FAUX show that “we ‘excrete’ bigger perjuries every day than anything Irving Libby is accused of.”
Shill Maglalang was her usual sprightly self when she demanded on the Dill D. O. Reilly FAUX show that Patrick Fitzgerald be interred. Maglalang went on to say that Fitzgerald’s actions are interrupting the War On Error that is so crucial to this country’s defense.
But leave it to uber-patriot Jonas Silverberg for his unvarnished truth-telling. Silverbeg told FAUX he has it on good authority that in May of last year, Patrick Fitzgerald raced into a burning building to rescue what turned out to be some illegal immigrants. Fitzgerald suffered burns in doing so and, worst of all, he descrated the American flag because the patriotic button on his jacket lapel melted in the extrreme heat. Safely ensconced in his duct-taped cubicle, laptop cocked and loaded, Silverberg also wondered why Fitzgerald hadn’t volunteered to go to Iraq and serve his country instead of remaining at home and persecuting God’s helpers.
Broadcasting simultaneously on his own radio show and on Faux, truth-meister Tush Limberger ‘weighed’ in (FAUX bringing in the ‘heavy’ artillery), that Fitzgerald was well known for kicking neighborhood puppies when nobody was looking. Not only that, Limberger stated, Fitzgerald deliberately mis-spelled the country of Niger in his original findings so that conservatives reading the Libby indictments on the air would get blamed for such racist mis-pronouncing. That is, the few conservatives allowed on the air by the liberal media.
Tune in to FAUX tomorrow for Jerald Riviera’s exclusive on his finding of Iraq’s WMDs in Patrick Fitzgerald’s underwear drawer.
