How youse doin’?
About The Author
BooMan
Martin Longman a contributing editor at the Washington Monthly. He is also the founder of Booman Tribune and Progress Pond. He has a degree in philosophy from Western Michigan University.
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Recent Posts
- Day 14: Louisiana Senator Approvingly Compares Trump to Stalin
- Day 13: Elon Musk Flexes His Muscles
- Day 12: While Elon Musk Takes Over, We Podcast With Driftglass and Blue Gal
- Day 11: Harm of Fascist Regime’s Foreign Aid Freeze Comes Into View
- Day 10: The Fascist Regime Blames a Plane Crash on Nonwhite People
Doin good man. How’s the shoulder?
Three pins in each one. Not too stiff today.
It seems too good to be true: a new source of near-limitless power that costs virtually nothing, uses tiny amounts of water as its fuel and produces next to no waste. If that does not sound radical enough, how about this: the principle behind the source turns modern physics on its head.
http://www.organicconsumers.org/corp/110705.cfm
This special election in CA is making us all more crazy than usual. I’ll be glad when this is over tomorrow night. Tried to watch the news last night…9 out of 10 commercials were related to the gropinator’s propositions – more against than for.
Since this special election is a referendum on the governor using the propositions as a club over the legislature – I hope all of his get smacked down thoroughly.
may be a mixed blessing in some towns — here in Sunnyvale (and up in my old hometown of Palo Alto) it’s city council elections as well as propositions, so we actually may have more turnout than the usual council elections. And if that makes people more aware of what’s going on around the corner, that’s more to the good… 🙂
The spouse held up our stack of election materials last night — we have a ceremonial “dumping of the junk” into the mixed paper recycling on election night — and asked, “How many trees died for this?” Most of the stuff is from the propositions. And I’ll be glad to get away from the recorded messages when I pick up the phone…
Not doin well at all. Is it a GBCW diary…not sure. I have a shit-load of vicoden here stareing me in the face. Is it that I am utterly alone in a foreign country? No friends or relations to contact? A lost love of the one beautiful person in my life? Not sure. Reminds me of the Doors song “Strange Days” because I am feeling very strange right now. I think of how peaceful death would be and how all the pain would go away. Afterall, if I take Hegelian philosophy as truth, then returning to the abyss as nothing but a few atoms wouldn’t be so bad. So I write and write and write, perhaps to expunge the painfulness consuming me, and I do it here on the internet. The PTSD is really getting to me, no rest in sleep or awake. I just want the pain to end.
So I guess that is the long answer to the question.
You weren’t alone when you found help via the blogs for drinking in Germany. You aren’t alone now…and vicodin isn’t really good company.
Are there any acupuncturists in your area that might help with pain relief?
Email address is below…email if you just want to talk…I’ve followed a lot of your stuff since Holy Handgrenade’s diary…we are here.
Thanks SallyCat,
but tonight I am sinking with no where to turn. I had a good cry as the one person in the world I loved walked out the door earlier. She was the one lifeline I had and now that is gone. So I am faced with myself and I am not sure I can do it. Why isn’t there a such of a thing as a white picket fence?
check your email….or keep hanging out here and lots of us will be holding the line.
The devastation when we lose someone is surreal. If they leave us we don’t know why and equal parts hurt and angry. If someone dies we are left with a huge hole in our hearts and no way to fix it.
Maybe making a list of all the great things your friend taught you will help. There is a great Garth Brooks song called “The Dance”. We could have been without the person, we could be without the pain, but we would have missed the dance that was part of our life.
Your friend’s life line is still there…it’s just now inside your heart instead of in front of you.
around here this past week or so — I always wondered where you went, but didn’t really know how to ask. I haven’t been in the best of spaces myself lately…but I am distressed to hear that you are not doing well. Did I read somewhere that you are becoming an EU citizen?
I think Ir ead a post of yours about having to go through an appeals process to get help from the VA? If you don’t mind me asking, do you have any access to help in any form?
How can I help?
I know this sounds stupid, as we don’t really know each other, but I care about you and you can ALWAYS contact me, any time. If you like I can send you my contact info. I am not trying to push myself on you and, in all honestly, this offer is not entirely altruistic, I often find that I can better deal with my own thoughs of “returning to the atoms” by listening to and being there for others.
JD….listen to those that write to you here. We are present to support you in this painful time in your journey. Please cantact one of us or just keep chatting here. You can get through this, I promise. You may never get over it but you will get through it.
Bri…you are absolutely right. That is how the whole concept of AA started….just two alkies talking to each other. Finding another human being that has been there. If I am feeling down or at the end, I reach out to others. Being of service to others gets me out of myself. ALWAYS!
JD please if you want to chat email me and we can talk.
alohaleezy at sbcglobal dot net Really, talk to one of us. We will help get you through this. Don’t give up.
Funny, just got an email from my mother who states “It’s awful, horrible, but it will pass. Don’t fight it, give yourself time to grieve, don’t run away from it, the buddhist would tell you to feel it to accept it in meditation. All things change. You are not a failure, you are in those years which are so hard, you have so much to give back to society. Its only in suffering that we can understand the suffering of others. “
If only I could take those words to heart.
All things change — I have had to tell myself this a lot lately too. And I have had to STOP worrying about what I can give back to society — they just have to get in line, after I take care of me.
Please just keep writing, here, there, wherever….and know that if you reach out, there a lots of us ready to reach back toward you. Any time.
You can. You , we all have choices. Listen to your mother my friend. She is a very wise person. I too, almost took my life because of a relationship ending. I did not ever think I could get over it. Well, ten years later, I have never been happier and I am single. I know myself better today because of that failed relationship. Thanks to good friends, a great therapist and family I was able to take the time to see that I was a worthy human being, that I had much to offer to others. When a relationship has served its purpose, it is time to move on. Learn from it and grow from it. Your mom was right too to allow yourself the time you need to grieve. Write about it, talk about it, cry until you cannot cry anymore, scream in a safe place. You can do this JD I know you can.
I think there is much more wind beneath your wings here than you realize and I hope that you will find your way to them.
Allow your mother’s words time to sink in. You’re clearly in deep despair, but please know there’s hope. No matter how deep your pain, it’s not worth hurting yourself – you have far too much to contribute and far too many people who care about you.
Please be careful with the Vicaden. It only served to agitate my PTSD beyond the distress I was already feeling. If you’re in a position to do so, consider walking around a lake, sitting by a fountain or running yourself a nice hot bath. Water is immensely soothing – especially so during times of personal crisis.
Your mother is correct in saying that all things change. But hand in hand with the change you’ll find positive constants – like the support of your mother, and the support of your blog friends, just to name a couple.
I wish you serenity, JD. We’re here to offer the hope.
Yes, the one person I loved with every fiber left me a few hours ago. But it is not just that. I was a Special Forces Weapons Sergeant in the US Army during the Central American years of Reagan and Bush I. A die-hard Rush Limbaugh republican. Then I had to do my job. The only operation I can legally claim is the Panama invasion so that I don’t end up like Mr. Rove. But it changed my perspective and seriouly jaded me as to our government and society. I still see the brown indigenous faces of people in my dreams, people who were someones fathers, brothers, sisters. I did my job. The way I dealt with the ramifications of that job was to drink, it numbed it and faded the faces, I could sleep. Now that I’ve gone on the path of sobriety, the faces come back and stare at me. They haunt me as ghosts. The one person who kept me sane left me tonight. Therefore I feel as if I have nothing left and I can’t run…I just want it to end. God help those coming back from Iraq.
.
That’s why we need you to fight the fight and bring our boys and girls home from this neocon adventure run by the same cabals of the Reagan years. I consider our soldiers in Iraq as our buddies who were send on mission by a failed leadership occupying the White House.
We need to kick their asses out of the government asap – we need you on that task here @BooMan’s Place.
If I can be of any support, I am in The Hague so not far away! Just let me know.
“Treason doth never prosper: what’s the reason?
For if it prosper, none dare call it treason.”
▼ ▼ ▼ MY DIARY
JD…I know right at this moment in time the pain seems so unbearble. AND when I say i know I mean that in the truest sense of the word. I sat on my livingroom floor and cried for weeks. I could not sleep or eat or think of anything but this pain. I had never felt that pain before and I did not know what to do with it because I was sober. Well kiddo, I found out what I had to do with it. I could either shove it deep inside of me by going back on the bottle or I could face the pain and learn from it. Oh crap I know you don’t want a take a GD hot bath lecture right now. FACE IT!! It will not kill you. I am living proof, ten years later, that you can get through all of this. NOT just the breakup of the relationship but the monsters in your sleep. I want you to yell at them as loud as you can. I want you to tell those monsters to get the f out and don’t come back no more. You can do it JD. I KNOW you can. PLEASE trust me.
Please keep talking to us here. We’re here for you.
I’ll e-mail you and give you my phone number.
None of the rational explanations — time cures all pain, etc. — are much good at a time like this for you. Just hang in there. We need you. Your contributions and your friendships here are so very important.
at Dkos Italian Satellite TV to Broadcast Evidence of US Use of Chemical Weapons on Civilians
Unbelievable. There is also a link to a video about Americans using White phosphorus- It’s in Italian.
Link
Warning- it is quite graphic
I was just reading about this also from informationclearinghouse-Rumors about this surfaced many times after Fallujah but now it seems there is absolute proof. I kept hoping against hope that it really wasn’t true but was very much afraid that it was. Not that I think this is going to get as much air time in our media as it will in other countries.
It seems rather sick that many americans say they support the war but do not want to see any graphic images of what war is really like or instead pretend it’s some sort of noble john wayne type movie war.
http://tinyurl.com/9kltq article from informationclearinghouse.
.
Video Clearing House – Fallujah The Day After
dKos Diary :: Fallujah: Napalm By Any Other Name
by Avila ◊ Sun Nov 21, 2004 at 01:29:37 AM PDT
I submitted a dossier on Fallujah and implied US War Crimes which included Avila’s diary with graphic photos last December 2004. I dropped both a hard copy dossier, as well as by email, the info on Fallujah at the offices of PM Balkenende, leading members Dutch parliament sitting on Foreign Relations Committee, and for the coalition partners VVD and CDA. At the time a decision had to be reached for extension of Dutch troops under Britich Command in Southern part of Iraq.
To everyone’s surprise the Dutch government decided to disengage in Iraq and divert troops and other assets under NATO control in Afghanistan as I have previously written.
Dutch soldiers work in co-operation with Iraqi locals
A small group of Special Forces (SF) are in Afghanistan under US Command to search for Taliban and Al Qaeda members. Apparently the Dutch SF were being targeted wearing their desert camouflage uniforms, which made them difficult to distinguish from US forces. The solution was to wear their green jungle camouflage uniforms, no problems with sniper fire now.
“Treason doth never prosper: what’s the reason?
For if it prosper, none dare call it treason.”
▼ ▼ ▼ MY DIARY
I think this is part of what the Italian journalist Giuliana Sgrena was kidnapped for as she covered that first hand.
The truth comes out eventually.
She is mentioned in article I linked.
There was an odd convergence of coincidences back about that time. Human Rights First had filed a lawsuit on behalf of torture victims, naming Rumsfeld and others in the suit. I’m almost positive this was filed in the district of Judge Lefkow who’s mother and husband-active human rights advocate were murdered. HRF might be the same organization they were both (Sgrena) involved with. The Lefkow connection came up again as another family member, her sister in law or something was also active in that.
This happened at the time Fitzgerald asked Lefkow for advice on pursuing the investigation with great national interest at stake.
Each day I try to find something to be grateful for. Today it’s the fact that I don’t work on Ahmed Chalabi’s PR team.
Ahmed Chalabi should be in prison. Instead he’s about to be a VIP guest of honor at the American Enterprise Institute. 11/6
diary today…
And it’s very good!
Martin, I did something bad and had to reinstall my e-mail program. E-mail me please. Thanks!
I’m very upset .. I have a hunch that when i first began using this Mac – and was unfamiliar with Macs — I accidentally put my e-mail program in the Trash can.
Well, I never erased my trash until this morning. And I didn’t check the 2,400 files in it. All of a sudden, I couldn’t open my e-mail program 🙁
It would be possible to restore the data if I had a data recovery program. Dammit all.
This is making me crazy. … I feel like I’m homeless!
Does this mean you didn’t get the email I just sent you?
It’s possible & even likely that not all is lost. Were you using Apple Mail or Entourage for email? If so, all your mail data are stored in a folder in your Home folder apart from the email program itself, so it should all still be there. Just deleting the application itself shouldn’t zap all your correspondence. You can certainly re-install the same email program, and it may not even notice that anything had happened. (Lots of “should”s in there — I don’t know your particular set-up.)
In the meantime, you can probably access your email account through the web. Try here: http://mail.earthlink.net/ and hit the “Webmail” link. You can drop me a line if you want some assistance.
GREAT thought!
If this were a PC — which I was expert in using — I’d know just where to look. But this is a Mac OSX, and I don’t know.
I joined the Thunderbird forum and posted a question asking if the folders are kept in a separate directory. (Please god.)
I also checked data recovery apps — Mac OSX isn’t nearly as easy for that 🙁 Sigh.
Thunderbird keeps mail data in ~/Library/Application Support/FullCircle; I betcha that if you just re-download and re-install Thunderbird, it’ll load everything up like nothing happened.
I saw that when I was looking for Thunderbird. THANKS!
Well, I reinstalled it and it didn’t restore the folders…. and I checked th subdirectories and they seem to only reflect the new installation.
🙁
Well that’s very disconcerting … but I dug around a little and found out a thing or two. (I installed Thunderbird just now myself.) Turns out that the folder I listed above isn’t where Thunderbird stores mail data, but rather it’s in
~/Library/Thunderbird/Prolfiles/asdf.default, where “asdf” is a nonsense string of letters & numbers. I’d be interested to know if there are two folders named like this in your ~/Library/Thunderbird/Profiles folder. That might indicate that there’s a new, empty profile from the new install, while the old mail folder sits there unused. There is a way to have Thunderbird look at the old one — hope isn’t lost just yet ….If you know of an email sent to you prior to your reinstalling, & are using Tiger, Spotlight should show you where it`s stored. Dumping the Mail App. should not have dumped your files. I guarantee you, it`s not lost.
Good luck & it is there.
If you’re on Tiger, try using Spotlight; put in “Thunderbird” or whatever program you were using, and see if there are any bits and pieces that were apart from the main program folder. Usually a program like that will set up a mail folder separate from the main program, to store the messages, user preferences, etc. Microsoft Entourage (yeah, it’s Micro$oft, but hell, it was free at MacWorld SF), puts the mailboxes in the Users folder. There should be a way for you to reinstall the program, then if necessary import your messages from where they’re stored.
Good luck… 🙂
Buried in a report on Bush’s South American romp:
Bigger than a goat, I bet.
Sometimes I actually feel sorry for this embarrassing fool.
According to an email that I have received, the following are a list of medications that will not be covered by the Medicare rx plan:
Aslo, the list of excluded drugs includes a number of medications that may be used by people with developmental disabilities:
· Barbiturates
· Benzodiazepines
· Prescription vitamin and mineral products (except prenatal vitamins and fluoride preparation)
· Non prescription drugs
· Medications used for anorexia, weight loss or weight gain
· Medications used for cosmetic purposes and hair growth
What are the specific medications in the benzodiazepine class that are excluded from Medicare prescription drug coverage?
Many people do not know the categories of the prescription medications they are taking. It is helpful to check this list of benzodiazepines because if a dual eligible is taking any of the following medications, they will not be listed on the drug plan formularies:
Alprazolam
Alprazolam Intensol
Ativan
Chlordiazepoxide HCL
Clonazepam
Clorazepate Dipotassium
Dalmane
Diazepam
Estazolam
Flurazepam HCL
Halcion
Klonopin
Librium
Lorazepam
Lorazepam Intensol
Midazolam HCL
Niravam
Oxazepam
Prosom
Restoril
Serax
Temazepam
Tranxene T-Tab
Triazolam
Xanax
Xanax XR
And, the specific medications in the barbiturate class that are excluded from Medicare prescription drug coverage are listed below:
Bellaspas
Bel-Tabs
Butisol Sodium
Eperbel-S
Ergocaff-PB
Mebaral
Meridia
Phenobarbital
Phenobarbital Sodium
Seconal Sodium
Spastrin
Phenobarbital is listed in the above section. Although phenobarbital is a barbituate, it has many other uses. In my specific case, phenobarbital is an anticonvulsant that has been successful in controlling grand mal epilepitic seizures for approximately 16-17 years!