Oui stated to me that they thought this should be in diary form rather than a post. So here goes… I haven’t shared via a diary in a while lately it’s been mostly CodePink alerts or supporting the efforts of others ActionDiaries.
It’s been a crazy, hectic few weeks personally – and I haven’t felt lonely or alone.
There are people in Norway, Florida, North Carolina, Port Angeles, Ottawa, Ohio, Netherlands, Michigan, South America, New York, Washington DC and just down the street that I’m truly blessed to call friends.
The past few days much has happned in my life. I’ve been looking at this past year.. .and boy has it made me “grow up” some. I wrote the below to my hockey friends and you all here… Why? RubDMCs diaries have had an impact on me. They make me stronger. They make me continue. I love you Rub! I can not tell you how grateful I am for the work you do here, and how it spurs others on in their own ways. I carry a piece, a day, of your series with me always. It carries me to tears and other days it carries me all across the nation to DC. …….
There’s no place like friends.
There’s no place like friends.
I wish I could have you all over for NYE (is there a “war” on New Years Eve or something I’m not aware of?? LOL) because you guys are FANtastic! So many changes this year. It feels like more than a year doesn’t it? So much death, detructions, and yet we’re on the edge of some major unrest, challenges and… growth. I can’t look back on this past year without feeling an overwhelming sadness and outrageous anger. There’s no words to describe what the right wing is doing as well as ignoring.
But I also have to keep looking at how it is changing loved ones in my life. It has made them bolder, more determined, in some cases it has completely changed their lives forever. My friend, the accidental activist… Watching military mothers with disabled children march… and having that woman call you a dear friend… – it balances out the few losses we’ve undertaken this year. It’s been un.bee.leeve.able.
I’ve lost some people in my life this year. But it’s not really a loss when those people are the ones who think you should be censored or worse… shot in the head in public. Instead I feel that I’ve gained a sense of purpose. Professionally, Personally and Spiritually. Now a days I just have to be me. There’s a bloody war going on, every day people are dying, starving, giving up. In this country as well. So I’ve decided to step up and speak out. Which isn’t a change as I always have been that way. And regardless of what it is your’re standing up for – the war or the price of bubblegum… you’re going to get flack. So why let the bastards try to shut you up or wear you down when it has to do with blood in the streets and water? When it has to do with basic, fundamental issues and rights? I won’t. I never have. I didn’t “change” I just didn’t stop caring or trying.
I look at the people in my life this past year and not only are they incredible people, but they make me want to be a better human being.
I’ve been asked alot if I’ve “settled in yet” and although we’re on a lease and in an apt and there’s a few boxes around… I’ve never felt more at home in my life. I think before instead of settling in, I’ve settled for. Well no more settling for less than, baby. No more.
This new year, I know it’s going to be hard. People are going to have to ask themselves what they are made of. Again, there will be losses. They’ll be asked to take risks. To stand up. To speak out. Now, for me, it’s no more regret or sadness.. because I know that from here on out it, it only brings in more incredible people into my life who will only enrich my days by standing with them.
(and… when I march I can take the train and not have to worry about having the car towed 🙂 LOL) Now… I’m not marching or doing anything alone. Which I know makes some friends in my life breathe a bit more easier 🙂 Just a “bit” more easier as they still worry. They have learned that the best way to keep me safe or out of harms way is to support me the best way they can. And I have to be honest with them about the details of what I’m doing or what has been done to me. I still think it’s horrid that a person can be shunned, threatened or even attacked for wanting peace and to not what children to be killed or any human tortured or beaten to death. But that’s how it’s always been.
I’m not settling for less than. I want my country to be as great and as giving as I know it can be. Not for some. Not for just a few. Not just for the ones born here. Not just for the elite. Not just for the ones who know how to play the game. Not just for straight people. Not just for the wealthy. Not just for Christians. Not just for adults. Diversity without division. For everyone.
“For all”. That means EVERYONE.
The New Year… bring it on.