from our good friends at resident bush:
bush was scheduled to visit a methodist church outside washington, d.c. as part of his campaign to appear to be a good christian. one of his aides made a visit to the bishop and said to him, “we’ve been getting a lot of bad publicity among methodists because of bush’s position on stem cell research and the like. we’d gladly make a contribution of $100,000 to your church if during your sermon you will say the president is a saint.”
the bishop thinks it over for a few moments and finally says, “our church is in such desperate need of funds that i will agree to do it.”
bush shows up looking especially pompous and smug, and the bishop begins his homily:
george bush is a petty, self-absorbed hypocrite and a nitwit. he is a liar, a cheat, and a low-intelligence weasel. he has lied about his military record, and had the gall to put himself in a jet plane landing on a carrier, posing before a banner stating ‘mission accomplished.’ he invaded a country for oil and money, and is lying to the american people about how things are going over there. he is the worst example of a methodist i’ve ever personally known. but compared to dick cheney and the rest of his cabinet, george bush is a saint.