Dick Cheney is my wife’s hero.
It all started with my wife’s car accident last week, just a couple of days before a drunken Vice President Dick Cheney shot Harry Whittington on a hunting trip in Texas.
Annie (who is NOT a good driver) knocked over one of our neighbour’s flower planters. This is how I told her to break the news:
“Ultimately, I’m the woman who was holding the steering wheel of the car that rolled its wheel over the flower planter.”
Because taking responsibility is the ADULT thing to do.
Well, she wasn’t going to actually tell the neighbour directly–she was going to wait a few days and then take out a small classified advertisement on page sixteen and hope that the neighbour would eventually read about it.
Now, despite being a bad driver, Annie is a good person, and destroying the neighbour’s flower planter bothered her. Or rather, holding the steering wheel of the car that pushed the wheel over the flower bed, thus destroying it, bothered Annie. My wife couldn’t feel she was somehow responsible.
But then my wife’s hero, Dick Cheney, freed her from all that nagging guilt by shifting responsibility where it belonged for the accident–onto our neighbour!
Shooting Victim Apologizes to Vice President
Harry Whittington said Friday he was sorry for what Dick Cheney and his family have “had to go through” after the vice president shot him in a weekend hunting accident.
The 78-year-old Bush-Cheney campaign donor spoke briefly to reporters upon his release from a Corpus Christi hospital, but he took no questions.
Cheney sprayed Whittington with birdshot on his face and upper torso in Saturday’s hunting accident. Whittington suffered a mild heart attack Tuesday, doctors said, after a piece of birdshot in his body migrated to a heart muscle.
Whittington, wearing a suit and tie, appeared with several bruises on his face and neck. His discharge from the hospital came earlier than expected.
“My family and I are deeply sorry for all that Vice President Cheney and his family have had to go through this week,” Whittington said.
In light of Mr. Whittington’s recent abject apology to Dick Cheney for being the victim of his shooting, Annie has decided to march over to the neighbor’s house and demand that she apologise to Annie for all the worry Annie’s been through since Annie ran over the neighbor’s flower planter. I mean, that woman has put my wife through HELL. Why did she put her planter on the kerb, anyway?
And yes, we’re thinking of suing the neighbour for emotional distress.
Cross-posted at my humble blog, http://thebloggingcurmudgeon.blogspot.com/