Promoted by Steven D, with some small edits.
Much is made these days about South Dakota’s lack of an exception for rape and incest. Not so much, though, for an exception for the physical and/or mental health of the mother. However, it is the latter that terrifies me, the forty-one year-old married mother of five, rather than all the others combined.
Most high-school graduates have at least a passing knowledge of the nineteenth-century authoress, Charlotte Brontë. Married in her late 30s, Brontë is suspected to have died from Hyperemesis Gravidarum during her first pregnancy, a severe form of morning sickness defined by excessive vomiting of four or more times per day.
In each of my pregnancies, I suffered from hyperemesis for the first four months. In my case, however, I vomited no less than six times a day, usually twice that during “peak months”. In each subsequent pregnancy, the symptoms got progressively worse, so that during my last pregnancy with Kezzie, even the most expensive anti-nausea drug (Zofran) failed. My OB had a central line placed, and I was put on IV for three months, just to keep me hydrated. Of course, the line closed or became infected a number of times, leading to extended trips to the hospital.
I couldn’t work or even care for my other children. I couldn’t even prepare food for myself (during the short periods food would stay down), as our bedroom was on the second floor, and my IV was attached to a wicked heavy electronic pump and stand. Eric, who had been laid off six weeks after we saw the two lines on the pee stick, was prohibited from looking for new work, as he couldn’t even think to leave me home alone with a recently diagnosed autistic two-year old (the autistic 3.5 old and NT five year old were both in school during much of the day.)
Just about the time the hyperemesis began to die down, the preterm labor would start, although with Kezzie, an early placental abruption at 9 weeks put me on bedrest much earlier than the 18 weeks for Jonah, and 21 weeks for Sam, so it was a good thing I guess that I was already tied to the side of the bed by the IV pump.
All four of Eric and my children were planned, the pregnancies very much wanted. However, the financial and emotional costs were very high, and we lost friends, alienated family and my post-partum mental health and physical health suffered.
. . .
Now imagine this same health crisis, but in a single, 20 year old college student whose partner checks out upon learning of the pregnancy. Parents are far away, she can’t even get out of bed, let alone to class. Forced to spend food money to take a cab to the ER when vomiting bile turns to blood. The only health insurance available is Medicaid, and the only OB care a local clinic staffed by residents unwilling to pass out any drugs to “charity cases”, even pregnant ones. Friends, also barely adults, don’t know how to help and public assistance is rejected due to that proud middle-class upbringing.
I’m also familiar with this scenario, as it describes the pregnancy of my first child.
Now imagine it in a working poor woman dependent upon her two jobs to feed, cloth and house her two other young children. Or a woman whose spouse is deployed to Iraq. Or a teenager already ten pounds underweight from trying to look like the model on the cover of Seventeen.
Imagine trying to function in any way, shape or form while vomiting a minimum of 400 times over 3 to 4 months. Yet, under South Dakota law, a woman seeking relief from this hell is viewed as looking for an abortion out of “convenience”. Her life is not in immediate danger (though thousands of women around the world still die from hyperemesis.) Legislators view the clump of cells which are wreaking such havoc with her hormonal and immune system as superior to the woman hosting them.
Hyperemesis (HG) occurs in about 1% of all pregnancies in the US. Thus, approximately 60,000 women last year suffered from this very debilitating condition, mostly in the first trimester of their pregnancy. Many of those women, even some with wanted pregnancies, chose to terminate their pregnancies rather than continue to suffer from HG.
However, if you’re on Medicaid or covered under Indian Health Services, the Hyde Amendment prohibits terminating a pregnancy for hyperemesis or any other medical condition which is not an immediate risk to the life of the mother. The Hyde Amendment was a bi-partisan compromise passed soon after Roe v. Wade, which prohibits the use of federal funds for the termination of pregnancy, and at times, has provided no exceptions other than immediate life of mother. Rape and incest were only re-added in 1993, though some states reject those exceptions as well.
So for those who think that today’s anti-choice Congressmen and women, whether Democrat or Republican, wouldn’t think twice about outlawing nearly all abortions, including those for rape, incest and health of the mother, just look to the poor and Indians among us. They live, and suffer, the truth every day.
X-posted at Wampum
I wish every anti-choice politician in the country could read this diary. Too often they seem to think that women are automatons who function in a mechanically perfect way and choose to have abortions because it might interfere with their next game of tennis or something. Your words illustrate the complexities and hard choices that women and their families have to make at times.
i hope they call you as a witness when this hits the appeals court. Your story is compelling.
None of your story shocks me, of course, but still, the skill with which you have told it leaves me breathless. As does your courage and determination to go through what you have to bring your children into this world. If I had the power to make it happen, this would be the lead story on every damned TV newcast and newspaper and magazine in this country.
Too see this all happening in 2006, come’s close to making my head blow up. I am having trouble managing my anger again, for the first time in years of healing and hard work to reconstruct my own live, lived in the days when inhuman creatures like this were in full charge of women’s lives. I honestly would not dare to do front like activism now, even if I still could, because I would land uin jail for assault if not murder. Or stroke out in the process.
Thank you from my heart, mbw, for your strong and brave voice. Sometimes it seems the only thing left we can do is stand on a roof and scream the truths, hoping to hell somebody, somwhere, with the power r to DO something, hears us.
Thank you for that.
No, thank you all for reading it. I just knew this was the community which would best understand these issues.
Thank You!
Thanks mbw for writing this – I now have one more piece of information I didn’t have before that I can use in this struggle. I had never heard of HG before, and want to join others in my admiration of your strength in getting through this.
I do think that these kinds of stories are the strongest tool we have to fight off the assault on choice. But I might need some support from fellow tribbers, because I keep thinking of all of those women who so bravely told their stories about the need for access to late term abortions. And STILL all the Repugs and so many Dems went along with the attempts to ban it. Maybe this more general assault on choice engages a larger number of mothers, fathers, sisters,…. and the voice will be louder and more difficult to ignore. What do you think?
I have heard about HG, and have even heard of cases in which it persisted through the entire full-term pregnancy. I did not know it was so common, nor that it carries a risk of death. I can’t imagine coping with that, and I applaud your strength and courage in bringing five children into the world despite the cost to your health.
It makes me nuts when I hear people suggest that if a pregnancy is unwanted, then the mother should simply give the baby up for adoption. We romanticize pregnancy and even childbirth to the point that there is little mainstream understanding of what a normal pregnancy does to a woman’s life and body, let alone a pregnancy complicated by any of the myriad possible problems, some of which you describe.
I was blessed with a healthy pregnancy, a mostly-normal if very long labor, a successful spontaneous vaginal birth. The process nonetheless taught me that nobody, but NOBODY, should be forced to go through pregnancy and birth against her will. I love my son, I would love to have more children, I love babies, I’m a huge advocate of breastfeeding, motherhood has enriched my life in ways impossible to describe. And right along with that, I am more pro-choice than ever. It makes me NUTS that public discourse about reproductive rights leaves so little room for understanding how a devoted and exuberant mother can be willing to fight to the death for women’s reproductive rights. Your diary does an excellent job opening a space for that idea, and it should be read WIDELY.
You know, so many people think that because I have had five children, that I must be anti-choice. I am probably the most pro-choice person I know, way more radical than most of my friends and family. I’m not even one of those people who say, “I support abortion rights, but would never have one myself” – I can honestly say, in all likelihood, if I got pregnant tomorrow, I would probably terminate rather than put myself, and my family, through that again.
I remember having dinner with my SIL’s right-wing family after I’d given birth to my eldest (as a single woman), and they asked me if I would like to join them protest at their local reproductive health care clinic – I think it took all the love for my brother to stop me from dumping my dinner in their laps. I certainly did make my position very clear, though verbally. They’d wrongly assumed that anyone who would choose to continue an unplanned pregnancy would want to deny that same choice to other women.
Just wanted to toss in more kudos for your diary here. This isn’t soemthing I’ve seen discussed in any detail before when talking about abortion rights. thank you!
comment turned into a diary re: the impact of this legislation on women w/disabilities.
Thanks for this diary. You’re right, people today believe that pregnancy is easy and abortion is simply for those who don’t “want” the child. Pregnancy is just as dangerous today as it ever has been, but if you have decent insurance you might make it through with less risk.
One of my closest friends has this medical condition, although I didn’t know there was a name for it. She spent almost her entire first pregnancy in the hospital hooked up to an I/V. Her second pregancy was just as bad although she ended up miscarrying. After that, she and her husband decided they were perfectly happy with one child. Then, ten years later, she discovered she was pregnant again. Again, she spent most of the pregnancy hooked up to an I/V although this time at home with a home health nurse to look in. These were horrible experiences for her, although she is blessed with two beautiful children.
I do NOT know how she could have gone through to term if she did not have a husband with good healthcare insurance, a full time job that could pay the bills and (especially during her second and third pregnancies) the ability to take care of their oldest child.