Ever the lobbyist, our man Jack has sent a Very Private (ha!) e-mail to his special friends. Naturally, a select few one would think. It seems he needs their help in this his hour of need.
What?! You may well ask. The Solicitor General of various Indian Nations wants character references? Is he applying for a position with a casino or something? With all his experience is he trying to get a bank to loan him money for an actual laundry? Aren’t there enough high-powered GoOPers out there who feel somewhere deep down inside their pockets that they owe him?
Why does a fine guy such as himself need to ask for attaboys? You’d think, with the way that Washington works — quid pro quo and all — that folks would be crawling out of the woodwork (or wherever it is they’ve gone to ground) to step up and defend the guy with some glowing words.
But no.
Come to find out last Sunday night Jack sends out an e-mail marked “please do not forward” and “no, no you mustn’t share,” or “entres nous.” Or words to that effect.
It seems his lawyers think he needs a little buck-you-uppo with Miami judge, Paul C. Huck. As Himself so genteely expresses,
“The reason letters from friends are so important is that Judge Paul C. Huck in Florida has not been privy to much of my background and life. He probably only knows of me through the harsh media caricature which has plagued me for the past two years. It may only be through letters of friends that any compassion and balance can be achieved.”
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[Abramoff] asks that any letters of compassion include “suggestions for alternatives to or reduction of amount of incarceration and any reference to any redeeming character trait or actions of mine.” The Washington Times March 14, 2006
Doesn’t your heart just bleed?
Snatch me up to heaven I’ve seen it all. Poor Man Jack. Judge Huck wouldn’t let him stretch his cooperative phase out over years and years, instead he set that dreaded sentencing date for two weeks from now. Jack’ll just have to finish up his lengthy cooperating behind bars.
But, as populist wants to know in his diary, What Ever Happened to Empathy?, I suggest we all take this golden opportunity to reach out to the man without a job and show Jack that we understand he’s a good man who just happens to be a bad actor.
So, take a few moments out of your busy lives to write a letter to Judge Huck and tell him of any redeeming qualities and good deeds that come to mind when you think of Jack Abramoff. C’mon, folks, show a little empathy.
