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About The Author
BooMan
Martin Longman a contributing editor at the Washington Monthly. He is also the founder of Booman Tribune and Progress Pond. He has a degree in philosophy from Western Michigan University.
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Since this place has been so very serious lately, I think I need to break this all up with this…have fun and hope it brings you all just a little laugh or two…hugs
It’s that time of the YEAR!!!
Gambling with the IRS
Ralph arrived at his Internal Revenue Service audit
Accompanied by another man. The IRS agent assumed the other
Man was Ralph’s attorney.
Going over his records, the IRS official said, “Well, sir, it
Appears that you live at a much higher level than your
Reported employment income. How do you explain that?”
Ralph replied, “I love to gamble and I usually win.”
The skeptical official gave him a disbelieving look.
“I can prove it,” said Ralph. “How about a demonstration?”
The official thought a moment and said, “Okay. Go ahead.”
Ralph said, “I’ll bet you a thousand dollars that I can bite
My own eye.”
The auditor thought a moment and said, “No way!
It’s a bet!”
Ralph removed his glass eye and bit it.
The official’s jaw dropped. Ralph said, “Now, I’ll bet you
Two thousand dollars that I can bite my other eye.”
The official could tell Ralph wasn’t blind, so he took the
Bet.
Ralph then removed his dentures and bit his good eye.
The stunned official was now three grand in the hole!
“Want to go double or nothing?” Ralph asked. “I’ll bet you
Six thousand dollars that I can stand on your desk and piss
Into that wastebasket by the door over there and never get a
Drop anywhere in between.”
The auditor, twice burned, was cautious now, but there’s no
Way this guy could manage that stunt, so he agreed again!
Ralph climbed up on the auditor’s desk, missed the wastebasket
Completely, and pretty much peed all over the desk.
The official grinned. He had just turned a huge loss into a
Huge win!
But then he noticed that Ralph’s friend looked ashen and was
Visibly shaking. “Are you okay?” he asked.
The man replied, “Not really. Before we arrived, Ralph bet me
Twenty thousand dollars he’d piss on your desk and you’d be
Happy about it!”
LMAO!!! I needed that! Thanks, Brenda.
Glad you enjoyed it…I sure know I did…:o)
Emailed it to a couple of people–thought it was that good.
Glad you got a laugh out of it too…hugs
giggles : )
I LOVE HOCKEY!!!!!!!!!!!!! and I love living in a WHL town.
My Winter Hawks are doing well. (saw them Saturday in the flesh – was a 8 man ejection fight too…)
and my Sharks are finally playing like … an actual NHL team! zoinks!
I say, let’s shed a single tear for Bode Miller, his site joinbode.com having evaporated into the virtual ether in the wake of his olympic nonperformance. Poor Bode. Okay, that’s enough.
vote for my gal Kirsten Gillibrand.
tootle their petition!
That was fun. I signed it as Ura Bigot at Jesuswouldslapyou@aol.com
I say that if Tammy Duckworth wins her primary, Democrats deserve to lose in November.
Stupid DCCC (“dick”). Can’t even support good candidates when they appear.
In case anyone missed The Daily Show tonight, Jon is having Russ Feingold on tomorrow night. I guess that must be the carrot for having been “stuck” with that ‘former Iraqi general to Saddam’ who was on shilling for Chimpy tonight. Embarrassingly obvious paid propaganda from that guy … how low can they go? Oh forget it, stoopid rhetorical question.
“It’s after the end of the world, don’t you know that yet?”
So, I;m sitting on my electic cart in the checkout lane of a big box grocery store, trying to swipe my cash card through thier little machine, which of course is perched way too high up for me to reach, when I accidentally hit some other little gadget sitting there, and it began to beep at me. It looked like something made to fit over ones finger, and it was.
Immediately alarmed,I said, without thinking “No WAY am I sticking my finger into that thing!” I guess I automatically assumued I’d have to, in order to pay for my groceries. Swell. I have become a paranoid.
It’s a new service you must sign up for , where somehow, they can connect “impressions” from your finger, which along with a password, will automatically dedcuct your grocery bill from your checking account.
When the day comes that I have to stick any of my body parts into any machine, in order to spend my own money, I am outa here, period. (Just so you know what happened to me if I disappear)
the “Educator-in-Chief”.