Man Eegee turned me on to the hotel room requirements of Bush’s quail-hunting sidekick. Nothing too extravagent. Some bottled water, a microwave, a desk, some pre-brewed decaf coffee, four diet sprites…nothing I wouldn’t ask for if I was Satan’s ambassador to the aboveground.
But what kind of lazy son of a bitch needs all the lights turned on and (all) the television(s) set to FOX News?
What? No Wild Turkey?
that’s what the ice bucket is for.
Love that all TVs have to be tuned to Fox news.
is he supposed to commune with his minions?
(thanks for the linkage, BooMan!)
That’s so he can check that the echo isn’t garbled.
So, if by accident the tv is set on CNN or MSNBC, do they send them to Guantanamo for an indefinet period of time??
what the handwritten comments say?
part says “extra lamps”, above it says “Newspapers – New York Times, USA Today, Wall Street Journal, local paper, Wash Post”
interesting document. Now that it is on the internets, I bet Fox will use it in their advertisements:
FOX – so fair and balanced, Vice President Cheney accepts no substitutes!
What, no buckshot?
Nope! Could you imagine what would happen if room service screwed up his order?
Isn’t the microwave a “weapon of mass destruction” to the Dickster? Please someone do some Orville Redenbacher!
I think those handwritten comments are for the hotel to have Cheney’s favorite book sitting by the microwave; “Pop Goes the Hampster and Other Fun Microwave Games.“
i thought microwaves were bad for people with pacemakers?
well, they used to be…damn if they were so bad then why does he still use his cell phone too. Anyhow I agree they should turn it up to the highest it can go to pop that corn…or heat up that pork sandwitch or what ever he is gonna use it for…maybe the defib he is carring around with him will have run down batteries in it too…;o)
What an ass!
I’m shocked that it doesn’t demand twenty-two caged birds leading up to his room for him to “hunt”
I shared this with my hockey pals.
In case you missed it, here’s Nate Corddrey’s video of Cheney’s ‘canned’ quail hunt. It’s priceless.
Link
No…the Fox News thing. You’ve got it ALL wrong.
Y’see…HE’S communicating with THEM.
He actually provides the hypnotic content for Fox. The trancing underhum. He has to be tuned in 24/7, or damned near. The more TV sets he is exposed to, the more he can channel the other-dimensional technology that he receives through his large antenna.
YOU know…the one he keeps in his pants?
He has to find out if it’s satellite or cable in order to decide which frequency to use. Right. The frequency the so-called “muggers” were after when they roughed up Dan Rather…a representative of a competing alien race, by the way from the star system Texarcana…and demanded to know “What’s the frequency” while calling him by his real name, Kinneth.
“Kinneth, what’s the frequency?” they said.
Yup.
Freelancers, THEY were…
Butch has got smaller ones secreted allll over his little body. Receivers only, of course. They’re afraid he’ll trash the code and Fox News will turn into a parade of giant Twinkies or images of naked Bush daughters cavorting in the bathtub together.
And the Diet Sprite?
That’s as close to Cheney’s home atmosphere as he can get here on earth. He microwaves it and then snorts it all day, whenever he can get away with it.
Simple, eh?
Yup.
You don’t believe me. Right?
Well…look right here.
See?
We even have photographic PROOF.
I mean, hey…it’s as good as that fake shit they used as an excuse to invade Iraq, right?
Probably closer to the truth, too, if you want to get right down to it.
Yup.
Tinfoil.
It’s what’s for dinner.
Wrap it up and take it home.
Yup.
Over and out…
AG
Mommy, I’m scared. Make the scary republican go away!.
Well, it’s finally obvious why he’s called Dick. Is he thinking, “oooh look at the soldier boys.”
Bush is such a fucking dilletante piece of shit. What a poser; the only genuine thing he is is an incompetent asshole. Plays at being Commander in Chief the same way he played at being a pilot.
The banality of evil, indeed. Apparently it has no taste, either.
Aside: ‘extra lamps’? ‘All lights turned on’? Pre-set TV stations? Cheney must be nearly blind — & if so, why is he allowed to frolic about with guns?
I like the comment upthread about the banality of evil. And…wow, the Faux News thing, that blows my mind. Not that I’m shocked that Cheney would watch the channel, of course–but it’s just so over the top stereotypical to have all the TVs tuned there. What would he watch if that channel didn’t exist? Good grief.
-Alan
Shit!!!! They forgot the roto rooter to remove the placque from his arteries and the cattle prod to shrink his prostate…
You can tell the man has been a corporate executive.
Believe it or not, these requirements are not that unusual for high-power execs. (Okay, the whole “Advance Office” thing, and motorcade, etc. is pretty excessive even for a corporate exec). But having worked for corporate execs, I can tell you that having their staff ensure that every last detail is set up exactly to the boss’ whims (including favorite beverage, room requirements, the kind of flowers in the room, etc.) is not unusual.
Basically, the more money you have, the more power you wield — which translates directly into other people bending over backwards to cater to your whims and spare you any annoying little inconveniences… right down to having all your pencils freshly sharpened, the exact brand and flavor of yogurt smoothie served to you in just the exact size and shape of glass you prefer, the radio and TV stations pre-set to your tastes, a private jet that flies on your schedule, and never having to be confronted with anything that ruffles your feathers or disturbs your keen sense of privilege.
This seems to be true no matter what the source of the money is — sports or entertainment star, corporate exec or Saudi prince. (And even more demanding are the execs who aren’t really at that level of financial and social clout yet, but would like to be made to feel as though they are… and they expect their staff to make it so.)
The real test of a man’s character in that position is not how far people will go out of their way to accommodate him and make his life easier… it’s how he reacts when his usual accommodations and conveniences are simply not available when expected.
I’d hate to even contemplate what would happen should the Vice President be inadvertantly exposed to, say, The Daily Show…
health care facilities are tuned to Fox News without exception and the ones that hands can reach have signs on them saying “DO NOT CHANGE CHANNEL!” Is it in case Dick shows up that day?
I thought of you when I read that yesterday…