These are the four adjectives Jack Abramoff, late “lobbyist to the stars” employs in his biography of appeal for mercy to U.S. District Judge Paul Huck. Tomorrow is sentencing day, and the former Numero Uno Ripper-Offer, Congressional Bribery Boy, and Lyer to Lenders is facing a stretch of seven years for the last crime alone.
Here are the details of his sob story from today’s Miami Herald. . .
- My parents endured the Depression;
- I had to live in Beverly Hills where I was only a non-upper class kid in the land of upper class kids;
- The biggest event in my live was converting from a secular Jewish life to Orthodox Judaism;
- I performed charity work in high school for “Sugar” Ray Robinson’s Youth Foundation;
- I wasn’t smart enough to get into Brandeis University on my own merit;
- But “Sugar Daddy” Ray Robinson put in a good word there and — lo! a miracle! — I was accepted;
- I graduated from Georgetown University Law Center where I became a Young Republican;
- Hop! Skip! Jump! I became a Washington lobbyist;
- Oops! I made friends with Adam Kidan.
IT’S ALL HIS FAULT !!
Now the father of five is going to do time for defrauding a bank; faces time on corruption charges; and is subpoenaed to be a witness in a murder trial that he may be deeply entangled in beyond just “witnessing.” But all of this is Adam Kidan’s fault. Well, maybe not the corruption and collusion with congressmen. Heh. Heh. Heh.
But judge — he pleads — I’m really a nice guy!
Yeah, the Republican version.
[Crossposted at DailyKos]