A little while ago, we had a number of strong women come out and talk about their experiences
with rape, molestation, and abuse from men in their lives. It was a powerful moment in BooMan
Tribune history. I wanted to share my story, but I just couldn’t put it down on paper (or bytes).
My parents were/are very liberal. They taught me that “even though” I was a woman, I could be
whatever I wanted to be. But, they never, ever, talked to me about sex, rape, or molestation. As
a result, I was molested for years by a neighbor teen-age boy. In fact, I saw molestation as
something normal, something girls endured to fit in with the world and get the attention of the
men.
When I was 13, I was nearly raped, but managed to escape. I told my mom about the incident
because I was scared and wanted reassurance that I did the right thing to run. She was pretty
unresponsive and when she got drunk later that night, she told my family that I was a slut. I
know that doesn’t jibe with the liberal thing, but sex was always something beyond discussion,
and the comment came more from interpersonal relationships between my mother and me than
from what she really believed.
From that day forward, I vowed I would never do that to my child. That I would be open and
honest and offer her a place to talk and share experiences and not judge her prematurely. I think
I have met that goal, so far.
A couple of evenings ago, my daughter shared a poem she wrote with me. It reminded me of the
discussions we have had here and I wanted to share it with you. My daughter is 11, almost 12,
and I think this poem represents how some girls feel in our culture. It’s not Pulitzer material, but
it does give an insight into how our girls view the world around them and what it is like growing
up female in today’s world.
She did give me permission to post this with her name.
So without further ado, a poem by Cypress:
When I turn on my TV
The first thing I see is a woman shaking her “stuff”
She isn’t really wearing anything
She’s in lingerie
Many guys are drooling over her
Or she’s on a commercial
Talking about calling her on your cell phone
Or she’s walking down an isle
Thrusting her hips out
How come I have to see this?
In this world
If you’re not pretty
You can’t become a model
A singer
Or even an actress
If you’re not pretty
You’re just nothingI don’t want to think this way
But prove me wrong
On your favorite show
Music video
Or movie
Is the main female artist pretty?
She probably is
So what about the girls who are large?
What about the girls with odd faces?
What about the girls who are geeks?
She could sing better than any of the singers we hear
She could act better than some of the actors we see
She could have a great sense of fashion
But does the media care?
NoGirls feel that they need to have plastic surgery
Cosmetics
Good clothes
When a girl uses that to hide her face
It hides her real beauty
We are all gorgeous
We are all like goddesses
We don’t need a great body
We don’t need to wear skimpy clothes
We don’t need men climbing all over us
Why do us women have to feel that way?
Because we can’t become the people we want to beAnother point
Why are women considered weak?
We are just as strong as those men
We might even be stronger
Why do I have to worry about being kidnaped?
Why the hell do I have to worry about being raped?
I can defend myself
I can stick up for myself
AND for my friends and family
I don’t want to be afraid
I will never
I repeat
I will never have to be frightened of being taken over
And why?
Because my friends and I are our own people
We don’t need to look sexy
We don’t need to have money
We can be just as successful as any other woman
We can be ten times betterI am myself
And to all those girls who are scared
Don’t be
Women will not crawl back under a rock
Women will fight
We will win
Many men think differently
But they are the scared ones
Never let a man take over you
Don’t be swayed by money
Cars
Or looks
That man is probably just looking for troubleSo when someone calls you ugly
Turn around and say
“You’re just jealous”
“You’re jealous because I have both beauty on the outside and the inside”
“But you”
“You don’t accept me for the goddess that I am”
You are not just for looks on a man
You are not clothes for that man
You are more than a sex toy
You are more than a pretty face
You
YOU are a woman
And you should be damn proud
Because you are beautiful