Progress Pond

How To Win Elections in the Time of the Boredom Consumers

First I thought about entitling this, one more in a continuing series of GBCW diaries, Why I Write. But then I realized that even I am not particularly interested in following that thread down to its final sleep inducing conclusion.

Second I am an entrepreneur. Thats French for people who do things. I am a doer. Or as some of my friends say I am a double doer. neat. no ice or soda please.

third I am sick of hanging out with losers. therefore I, donkeytale, just like the mighty kos before me, prefers to change you losers into winners rather than become a naturalized Reptublican, which kos and I both know in our heart of hearts is what we both should be and will likely become anyway after we both skyrocket past the 30 mil marker on our way up the Big Board.

“Together, together you and I”

fourth I think Warner has only about as much chance as Romney anyway and what the hell is the difference between the two? Oh Romneys a Reptublican? Really, and an entrepreneur as well? No shit?dewars man? course not.

fifth hes from Massachusetts although I thought he was from Utah? Oh well…Arkansas, Illinois, New York wtf the difference?

sixth I say we need to become the party of humor in order to win back the whitewash house. And no, I am not calling for the densely layered, ultrahip even inaccessible at times but always right in the face of the intended target biting satire of say, a Colbert or a donkeytale. no i am calling for the more gentle, uplifting sonorism of a Letterman or a Stewart. populists.

Guys that wont scare your progressive grandmother much less the Great White Middle Class Suburbian/Exurbian reptublican leaning Undecideds–you know, the endless sunbelt subdivisions of chuckleheaded boredom consumers out there who decide each and every election. I have learned from experience: get them laughing and you’ve won 99% of the battle….

seventh for instance when they try some stunt like swiftboat why dont we just crank out the exact same ad campaign but change the name from “kerry” to “bush”? Get it? “Bush wasnt on the river that day…” jon stewart’s sonorous voice…see what i mean? and the possibilities are endless so we can counter anything that that dastardly Karl Rove will throw at us, even as he is running the Reptublican campaign out of wtf federal country club/steel bar inn the Big Blogosphere finally gets him tossed into.

eighth the bloggressive fest 2006 was a great success but in my mind placed squarely into high def that in order to be truly considered the “Talk Radio of the Left” YOU MUST WIN SOMETHING. You who own this free enterprise exercise in capitalistic like progressivistic reactionism have upon yourself all the pressure to produce in the flesh. Why not? you get to sit around all day in your underwear or wtf and watch tv, play games on the internets and use and abuse millions of progressivistic reactionaries as you so desire and its all because of us, the plebeian masses, the progessivistic reactionaries ourselves, who have built your media empire ( and all its second tier knockoffs as well) with our visions, our intellects and our anonymities. Why shouldnt we hold you, the mighty kos, accountable for wtf happens in 2006 and 2008? with the victory comes the spoils but with another loss your meat gets spoiled.

fast.

Bet on it.

wtf?

ninth good show! especially the wwf-like sniping back and forth with that ingrate booman….

tenth i would xpost this on your orange crush as per the “blogosphere integrity statement regarding meta diaries which criticize the Supreme Leadership” but alas I was banned there a couple years ago or so. I readily admit that I deserved the banning, as I have also readily deserved my previous bannings at BT (twice)and RedState (dont ask). Instead I am asking, nyet, I am demanding both forgiveness and clemency plus $250,000 cash in unmarked twenties for all the trouble you have put me through with this internet addiction of mine, this affliction of my anonymous soul which you and you alone have created and are solely responsible.

Lets see now, with triple damages your bill comes to an even 750k. Something tells me after this weekend your bank account will be able to handle it….

eleventh learn to laugh at yourself and it will be easier to take when everybody else is laughing at you too.

twelfth may the lord your god (wtf you deign him or her or it to be) bless all of your actions on your unique and individualized road to paradise

thirteenth hi my name’s pete and im an internet junkie.

Ciao

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