(Inspired by Simon Malthus’s diary and, especially, by certain comments by kansas therein. An expansion of previously posted material.)
There was once a tail who spoke to the dog whose tail it was.
“You would think yourself a dog?” the tail growled menacingly. “Don’t make me laugh! You are a tail; you have always been a tail; you will never be anything other than a tail.
“Now wag, little tail, wag!”
The dog, being a dog and hence responsive to authority, accepted this judgment and did as it was told. As it waved back and forth, its paws dangling absurdly beneath it, it said to itself: “Well, this is all in order, if unpleasant from my standpoint. I must keep in mind that I am just a little tail. Oh, if only I were a dog!”
Passersby stopped to observe the remarkable phenomenon. Some, the more discerning, commented: “Well, we’ve all heard of the tail wagging the dog, but I’ve never seen it actually happen!”
Others said: “Would you look at that. A tail with four legs and a head.”