Today my evening plans to attend a CodePink meeting in Portland were dashed.
How one sentence can make your evening plans go from
this:
to this:
“MOM! I JUST THREW UP IN MY MOUTH!”
But… this is not to seek pity, this is to remember where we have traveled. Come timewarp with me to April of 2000 when I first sent an autism support e-list my bittersweet “good news”.
Tuesday, 25-Apr-2000
Breakthrough!!!!!!
I hope you dont think the major breakthrough was in speech development.
Nope.
Hope you dont think Im so elated due to some miraculous agreement with school officials.
Nada.
Hope you didnt come here hoping to read about some new medicine. So what’s the big breakthrough? The thing that would have a mom so happy and wanting to share??
My son for the first time puked in a bucket.
Now I must preceed this with lettting you know we have been attempting this for years. And more recently, Ive been dealing with a sick kid for 4 days now. Not mildy sick – nopers we are talking about jet propulsion here.
The Saturday before last, I for some reason had the energy and time to rent one of those steam cleaners and I busted my hump on the carpet and was very happy with the outcome of my effort. This Saturday after the major Easter Egg Hunt put on by the local Lion’s Chapter (who seemed to have a surplus of chocolate, jelly bellys and those glorious hard boiled eggs) as they were passing them out left and right.
I kept telling Wesley that he shouldnt feel compelled to eat it all at once. But Wesley kept shoveling it in – for two hours he was content to eat anything and everything the Lion Club Members handed him. Maybe I shouldve taken his basket away and put my foot down? Ya right – I wasnt in the mood that day to engage in
WW3. You know what they say about taking candy from a baby – well they never tried to take it away from my kid.
After my daughter won the grand prize in age group (a huge box of… you guessed it more chocolate) we decided to head home. This is when my son started to say “tummy hurt”. At first I thought “well he had too much candy – he will get sick briefly and it will all be over”. So the first time he showed signs of appearing to be “sick” I was ready folks. I had towells and everything. Some would say I was helping my child in a time of illness – NO way, I was saving my newly cleaned carpet.
Well I thought I had done a mighty fine job and was pleased that I saved the day. I turned on the TV for Wesley and went about my work. That is when I heard his stomache making sounds that should never come from a human. That is when I realized we werent dealing with a case of “too much candy” – we were headed for “the flu”
Wesley went around the living room like a whirling dervish – he managed to hit every spot of the wall to wall carpet. He even managed to hit the backside of the couch. Our two labradors went running for cover as well. There was nothing I could do.
Now my son has always seemed to get very panicked when vomitting. This weekend he basically has undergone “sensory intergration” with this all and can now “get sick” with ease and no fear. The seventh time, I calmed him down and got him settled in with a new Pokemon video and then I sat in the kitchen and cried until my husband got home.
The cashier lady looked funny at me – and I told her “Yes, I just rented one of these machines last week but I need it again” She tried to tell me to just buy some stain remover and I told her that I was just lucky that our overhead fan wasnt running at the time. NO, a can of stain remover wouldnt help today.
My son doesnt always talk, let alone announce what he’s about to do. But this for us is a major breakthrough that he is now on his own using a bucket.
He has even “progressed” to saying “Wesley haffa cough” as he lunges for his very own bucket. Seems “coughing” is what he calls the feeling – and that is fine with me – at least its something. I feel bad that he is so sick and having a terrible time – but I feel like high fiving everyone – cause my kid has learned how to .. um no other way to say but to say it as it is..
My son can puke in a bucket. Hooray!!!
===
Another Mother Of A Child Like No Other
Giving a sense of perspective … measuring success etc.
So how’s he feeling?
He was not amused with the new “sensation” of urping in one’s own mouth. In fact it pretty much pissed him off.
See, he was hunched over putting things in the back of the car and he felt it would be horrific if he got sick on his precious treasures… his CD case. So he had to make a split second decision, not always his finer moments, and try to “avoid disaster” in his eyes.
He is in his room, happily playing some older Nintendo games. … The bathroom door is open and ready …
Because he now tries to make it to the toilet.
Progress. 🙂
Hope he feels better soon …
I’d be pissed off, too. I’m glad he’s feeling better.
Olivia. It is important to meet people where they are, not where we expect them. I have learned a lot about that in the last year.
is that I should never measure success by what we have taught him, but by what he has taught us. 🙂
He bounces back super fast.
In my previous work I used to have to visit a school for children with profound special educational needs so I can understand the joy you feel at this small milestone on his journey.
Actually your first picture reminded me stongly of a helicopter trip I made over Victoria Falls. As we approached we could see a lone elephant in the middle of the marshland just playing with the water he was standing in. Sheer unadulterated joy at life which in some ways reflects your emotions when your son hit the bucket rather than the fan.
Incidentally, you may like to know that one of the contestants in the UK version of Big Brother this year has Asperger’s. At least here it is considered part of the autism spectrum and I presume the same is true there. His case consists of the occasional swear word blurted out, rather fewer instances of making sounds and some physical body ticks and grimaces. He is a musicial and is one of those potentially annoying people who convert anything available into percussion instruments or drums (not sure if that is a function of the Asperger’s or musical background) The bookmakers have him as the way out front favorite to win as he is a really nice guy and extremely popular with the house and the audience.
Yes, Aspergers is part of the spectrum here, too. Wes is considered “high functioning autistic”. Thank you so much for reading and sharing, LondonBear.
The young ladies just love him it seems and he has a “fondness” for movie quotes and movie soundtracks. He can run like wind and he has some coaches here just hoping he’ll focus and try out for the track team.
Most only know of the Hollyweird version of the spectrum, they expect Rainman or some codebreaker… nope, he’s just our Wesley.
And he bounced back.
My brothers two kids have been diagnosed with Asbergers. I’ve been learning lots, but sadly, they are in Berlin, so I don’t get to see them too often.
I so loved this diary. It made me remember how happy we feel when our children grow and accomplish new things. Your milestones may vary, but it is so important to acknowledge as many as we can.
Sometimes it helps us to remember how far this family has come.
You’d never believe how easy it is some days to forget all the truly negative stuff and the heart aches.
A friend has a little dude who is just 5 and he’s so much like how Wesley was at that age and it slams me back in time. I have a tendency to swat away compliments in regard to how far Wes has come… but if one really looks back… hot damn there’s much to rejoice.
Happily there’s much much more to share than just the ability to say he’s sick or egads… actually get sick in a bucket or toilet. But there was a time when all I wanted was for him to be able to communicate with us that he was sick. Just to be able to let us know he was hurting. That was my earliest wish.
Now I know better. My wish is for him to be able to create his own dreams.
he’s feeling tons better and by the time Dad came home he was chasing his sister around with a plastic Katana sword quoting bits from Kill Bill and Pirates of the Caribbean.
Then he was hungry. VERY HUNGRY.
He and his sister felt that Chinese food was needed.
Kids…
Reminds me of my younger days…my best friend from elementary through high school had a younger sister with Down’s Syndrome…we also celebrated each success.
(We lost touch after she left school early when she passed the High School Equivalency Exam…I recently found her listed on one of those alumni finding websites and sent her a note…waiting to see if she’ll write back some day…)