I am blessed or cursed (perspective specific) by an ability, no more than that a need to view things from all sides, or as many sides as I possibly am able to. (A quirk or attribute that often drives friends and acquaintances crazy about me).  So most often I usually view and assess things that I might have little agreement with as having some possible value.  Doesn’t mean I like them particularly, but that I allow for the views expressed that seem in great opposition to the views I hold.  I usually can see what someone is getting at or coming from even though I dislike their choice of presentation or the concept all together.

As human beings, we are pretty interesting.  We are so often driven by our emotions and unreasonable expectations of others especially over words, thoughts and deeds that we find offensive personally.  And we are such accomplished beings that we are very well able to and most often do, hide the real reasons behind our responses to things from even ourselves.  We feel justified and righteous in “our” presentation of “our” view of things.  But behind it all is what?

One of the favorite things that humans do and do exceptionally well is hold on to hurts, insults and painful experiences.  Why, we can even hold onto them to our very graves, and with a somewhat triumphant feeling of “we showed them.”  We are great clutchers of such things.  Living our lives with clenched fists!

For a while now it seems plenty of us on blogs have been participating heavily in all manner of confrontation with each other.  We like confrontation, although we say we don’t.  We like it a lot.  First of all it gives us an excuse to blow off steam about all the things in our lives that are less than harmonious.  Even though the discussion at hand has nothing to do with those disharmonys of a personal nature, it still is a wonderful excuse, and we don’t hesitate to use it.  

The next thing is that loud yelling and attacking responses to each other gets the old blood pumping and makes us feel ALIVE!  It is exhilarating!  And we get to righteously pump up our egos in the belief that our views and our ways are the right ones.  Next, we get noticed and you know that old adage of it not mattering if we get noticed for good behavior or bad behavior as long as we get noticed.  Most of us in our daily lives don’t get noticed very often.

The detached view from the stars is this:

Holding on to old hurts, pains and insults, real or imagined, is detrimental only to the person holding on to them.  It destroys your spirit and does damage to your soul, let alone the effects it has on your psychological health. Letting go of those things is an act of forgiveness.  If you feel the need to do something about those old hurts, etc., then find something positive do do about them and then let them go.  You choose to get over it or not.  That doesn’t mean it didn’t happen or that it didn’t cause great pain, suffering and difficulties in your life.  It means that you have grown up, have allowed yourself a bigger and more positive understanding of life.  It means you are willing to move on from it and LIVE your life instead of letting life happen to you.  You are defined by your NOW not your past.  Get out of vitimhood, it really doesn’t serve any of us. Which choose you?

Don’t take anything personally.  Nothing here is personal.  I don’t care if it is the most vile, contemptuous, name calling, finger pointing, nasty, untrue insult you have ever heard.  Don’t take it personally.  Consider the source.  Consider the possible desperate, illogical reasons that may be motivating the source.  Don’t take it personally and don’t take it as having any weight whatsoever in the scheme of things.  It doesn’t.  It only has the amount of power and weight that YOU give to it.

I speak of these things with some measure of authority, because during my long years here I have been just as engaged in such reactionary behavior as anyone else.  I’ve been it, done it, played it, and now have the absolutely worthless T shirt to prove it.

Forgiveness is the answer.  Forgiveness of self and others.  Follwed closely by the law of Allowance.  Allow others to be who it is that they are, regardless of how much you may dislike them or hold them in disgust.  Forgive yourself first and foremost for all the real and imagined actions, reactions, and less than loving deeds you have offered forth.  You are worthy of forgiveness and you are forgiven by all.  You are probably the last one to forgive you.  Forgive everyone else, past, present, future of their less than loving deeds and actions.  That does not mean you are in agreement with them.  That does not mean you condone their ways.  That means that you allow that is just who they are and how far or how little they have progressed through this lifetime.  One reasoned response is enough to state your case.  After that, you are in it for some purpose other than discussion.

For those of you that have thoughts or concerns or ideas to the contrary, I am not speaking of anything here in a religious frame.  This is not the religious or dogmatic version of forgiveness.  It is the mental health version of it.  This is the common sense version of it.

Forgive and Allow

Some of you here are very good at this.  It is hoped that more will follow your example.  Anyone that wishes to live a more empowered and meaningful life can learn.  It is a choice.

The object, in my view, of these discussion places is to read and discuss.  Not to agree with everyone else and not to hurl insults or hurtful invectives at each other.  But we really have to ALLOW others to disagree with us.   Beyond a certain reasoned point continually attempting to change their minds is probably the most senseless waste of time there is.  JMO

I love you all and I wish for more love and allowing in each of your lives.

Hugs
Shirl