Part of this is from a comment made earlier today, but the replies to it, as well as reflecting on other messages I have read in the last few days, inspired me to make it into a “diary:”
The US is currently engaged in what it refers to as a “war” against any person or entity who disagrees with its policies, which include a number of things that many people, especially non-Americans consider non-negotiable items on the wrong side of their moral values chart, such as invasion, occupation, torture, kidnapping, murder, etc. etc. etc.

The US has reasons for its positions, namely imperialism and greed, dressed, trimmed and “framed” in various ways. The same people who disagree with the policies and the implementation are likely to also disagree with the reasons, and since the elements of the implementation are on that wrong side of the moral values chart of Those Opposed, or the Enemy, anyway, the likelihood that even the most carefully crafted explanation of the reasons for the US position will find favor with the Enemy is small.

So any non-American, or any American who is pro-Reform, pro-modernization, pro-advancement, is, with all due respect, not doing our best thinking if we imagine that we can go onto a US forum, express our opinions, and not make people angry, not be seen as the Enemy, and quite rightly so, even Mr. Danger himself has decreed this.

I think it is particularly painful for pro-Reform Americans to face the fact that they are the Enemy to most of their own countrymen, regardless of which political organization or politician either or both may consider themselves affliliated with, admirers of, etc. And for some of those pro-Reform Americans, this painful experience comes close on the heels of some very painful encounters with reading about history, events, policies, that may have occurred relatively recently in their lives, and may have had some differences from what they had been taught in school, or just always assumed, etc.

The result of all that can easily form itself into a head on collision of a sense of political entitlement and political reality.

And while I’m sure that some could point to examples of all that happening here, it would not be fair to characterize the phenomenon as unique to here, or unique even to internet forums.

I recall reading the horror in the message of an individual of color, who due to a combination of factors, had managed to reach post-University age without ever having had a lot of the experience that most people of color in the US could count on having had on several occasions well before puberty, on the occasion of the first time he did have such an experience, such experiences being, sadly, on the rise, let us say,  just in time to coincide with his entrance into adulthood.

A confession. My absolutely first gut reaction to his pain was not the compassion and sympathy for him, but for his parents, wondering if they could help knowing, even without his telling them, and how awful for them to have gotten him all through his childhood and adolescence, and maybe be thinking, well if he doesn’t go here, and he doesn’t travel to there, maybe… and then BOOM! And then they are wondering, did we go wrong? Should we have taken him here or there, so he could learn, so he would have the coping skills? Were we living in denial, a bubble of unreality because of our particular combination of factors that we know damn well are not what most folks have? And they cannot even try to comfort him, even if they know of it, through his telling, parents’ intuition, common sense, being there and seeing it happen, or a combination of the above, because he is not a little boy any more, and they cannot take him onto their knees and hug him and tell him that yes, there are people who, but blah blah and kiss his tears and make him feel safe and know he is loved.

So I felt for his parents first, but then I did feel for him, and it is in that same way that I feel for the pro-Reform Americans who have just recently learned that to most of their countrymen, they are just as much the Enemy as I am, and they cannot change that any more than I can, because it is about fundamental values of right and wrong that are not nuanceable, not negotiable, not conditional.

That is not an easy place to be, in fact, it is probably the hardest place that most of those folks have or will ever find themselves in. And it cannot be argued away, or treated like the 800 pound elephant people pretend not to see, or denied, or worked around.

It is just the way things are.

So how can people possibly discuss things on an internet forum in such a situation?

A while back, BooMan made a very good post, suggesting that people remember, “not everybody is as smart as you, as well-informed, as skilled at writing, etc.”

Although wrong about most things, BooMan was right about that. People have different levels of skills in different areas. Some people may be able to express very eloquently that they disagree with your opinion, disagree with your presence, and remind you that you are the Enemy with effortless skill that leaves everyone, even you, impressed with his way with a dangling modifier.

For others, “you are a doo doo head” may be the best they can do, and that is not their fault. That same person may be add long columns of figures in their head, while the guy who was so eloquent can’t even count his socks when he takes them out of the dryer.

None of those factors have anything to do with your Enemyhood. That is what you are.

This is an aspect of what the US calls “war,” an aspect of Imperialism, of indoctrination, of failed statehood, that comes with the territory.

And whether the forum you go to is a US one or not, a “political” one, or not, you will find some of the same phenomena.

Even though you might not be the Enemy on that other forum, there will still be people who disagree with you, and there will be people who are able to express that with varying levels of skill and talent.

And because the internet is a public place, no matter where you go, there will be people who are troubled, people who are participating under auspices other than their own, and people who are so very nice you are eager to get to know them offline and share your personal contact information.

And there is no guarantee that the categories above will not have some overlap, and a “robust” likelihood that they will, because once again, the Internet is a public place, so the precautions one would take in a public place are also prudent on the Internet.

It is not realistic to assume, hope, expect, or demand, that any internet site you visit will be free of people who disagree with you, people who are not fond of reading, people who are troubled, people whose values differ from yours, people who are not as smart as you, people who are smarter than you, or people for whom you are the Enemy.

So here are some guidelines for Happy Enemy Blogging:

  1. Understand that to some, your point of view is simply inconceivable. It is not that they disagree with it in the conventional sense, they simply cannot conceive of such notions.
  2. Do not expect that everyone who replies to you will have read what you wrote. Some folks just like reading better than others, reading comes easier to some folks than others, and if you are The Enemy, reading what you wrote might be against their values, or they may be simply responding to your existence as opposed to your words. You are, after all, the Enemy.
  3. Be compassionate. Don’t continue to respond to people who are clearly troubled, or who do not have the capacity or the desire to understand what you said. There will always be someone you can talk to, even among those who do not agree with you, especially if you –
  4. Leave the door open. Even though you are the Enemy, the possibility exists that there may be people reading your words who are going through their process. Not because of anything you, or anybody else said, just because the time has come for them to do that, and so they are doing it. If someone responds to you in a civil, thoughtful way, talk to them. No need to try to persuade them of anything. That’s what their own conscience is for.
  5. Be accessible. Try to put your thoughts into words and references that your audience can relate to. You may be more familiar with a different cultural context, but your readers may not be. Ditto on the vocabulary. Unless the intent of your message is to demonstrate that your vocabulary is extensive and you know lots of obscure words, try to express your thoughts as simply and straightforwardly as possible. Even the most complex, even abstract concepts can be put into simple, everyday words that almost all of your readers will be able to understand.
  6. Be brief (this is the rule I break most) Brevity is also a gift, and you may not be able to crystallize your thoughts into as few words as someone else. Do the best you can. Yours are not the only words your readers want to read, and they may have limited time.
  7. Be selective. Don’t feel that you have to read each and every message from each and every poster on several dozen forums. If you are able to do so, and it will not be against your values, read everything that you do respond to.
  8. Be tolerant. Your interpretation of what someone said may be different from someone else’s. For instance, someone may say “the sky is blue,” and someone else may interpret that to mean “the sky is red.” The conflict between the two of may not have so much to do with facts as with interpretation. Especially if the person who disagrees with you does not believe that sky color is a subject that should be discussed, or that should be discussed by people from or people outside, a particular group, or if the person who made the sky remark is the Enemy. You will have a better chance at a discussion of sky color with that person in a different setting.
  9. Be prudent. Most of the folks you will meet on internet forums are, like you, simply expressing their opinion because of a personal desire to express it. Others may be “ghost blogging” under other auspices. Neither assume this is the case, or rule out that it could possibly be the case. The internet is a public place. Keep offline contact info offline. Do not post photographs of yourself, your children, or of your home, or your street. Remember that the people whose presence you are aware of are not the only ones who will be able to see what you post. Would you go to the shopping mall or community festival with your address or phone number printed on your t-shirt?

  10. Enjoy yourself. Think of the young lady who accepted a date with a suitor she did not especially like, to attend a function in which she had no interest, all because of a family friendship. She moped about for a while, then suddenly had an Epiphany. When her somewhat sheepish and apologetic mother came to help her get ready, she was surprised to find the girl in a sprightly, smiling mood, and rather apologetically and sheepishly inquired into the reason for this. “Well,” said the young lady, “I don’t like X, and this function is about the last one I would want to attend. I can’t expect to enjoy either his company or the boring lecture. But I figured something out. I can enjoy MYSELF.”