In our never-ending quest to impose phony “Christian” values on all Americans, we sent Fox News’s Rita Cosby down to interview Sy Goat, a young American who has quite a stake in the embryonic stem-cell debate.
Cosby: Well, Sy, how does a young man such as yourself feel about being sliced up and experimented upon by mad scientists?
Frankly Rita, your remark is sexist. I have no sexual differentiation at my stage of development.
Cosby: Well then, as a weird and dangerous transvestite, did you chop up Natalee Holloway and dump the chum into the sea to be eaten by sharks?
That’s quite possible. But since I have no brain, I can honestly say I have no recollection of it.
Cosby: Fox News Alert! Breakthrough in Aruba! Now, as a human being and a citizen with rights, why should you be murdered in cold blood for this phony-baloney “science” nonsense?
1st Lt. Sharon Ann Lane, 2nd Lt. Pamela Dorothy Donovan, Lt. Col. Annie Ruth Graham, Capt. Mary Therese Klinker, 2nd Lt. Carol Ann Elizabeth Drazba, 2nd Lt. Elizabeth Ann Jones, Capt. Eleanor Grace Alexander, 1st Lt. Hedwig Diane Orlowski.
Cosby: Who the hell are they???
They died in Vietnam saving lives. Women are on the Wall, too. Even though I have only 3 cells, I can save even more lives than them. If it’s ok that they can be heroes, why not me?
Cosby: Cut! We can’t use this! Let’s go back to Aruba!