When I get drunk I’m known to make flippant remarks. Nothing too embarrassing. Sometimes an apology is required. To date, I’ve never become so unhinged as to ask a cop: “What do you think you’re looking at, sugar tits?“, but I’m still young.

A blitzed Mel Gibson launched into an obscenity-laced tirade when he was busted on suspicion of drunken driving early yesterday, threatening an officer and making anti-Semitic and sexually abusive remarks, according to a police report.

The “Passion of the Christ” director repeatedly said, “My life is f—-d,” according to the report by Los Angeles County Deputy James Mee, which was obtained by TMZ.com. The celebrity news Web site posted excerpts of the handwritten report.

Gibson, 50, was pulled over for speeding at 3:10 a.m. on the Pacific Coast Highway in Malibu, Calif., cops said. The Oscar-winning “Braveheart” star and director was driving 80 mph when he was snared by a radar trap, sheriff’s deputies said. The speed limit in that area is 45 mph to 55 mph.

Gibson failed both alcohol breath and field sobriety tests, deputies said. His blood-alcohol level was .12, Deputy Anthony Moore said. The legal limit is .08 in California.

According to the incident report obtained by TMZ.com, the Road Warrior embarked on a belligerent, anti-Semitic outburst when he realized he had been busted.

“F—–g Jews. The Jews are responsible for all the wars in the world,” Mee’s report quotes him as saying.

“Are you a Jew?” Gibson asked the deputy, according to the report.

The actor also berated the deputy, threatening, “You motherf—-r. I’m going to f— you,” according to Mee’s report.

The actor also told the cop he “owns Malibu” and would spend all his money “to get even with me,” Mee said in his report.

TMZ quoted a law enforcement source as saying Gibson noticed a female sergeant on the scene and yelled at her, “What do you think you’re looking at, sugar t–s?”

Deputy Mee then wrote an eight-page report detailing of the incident, but higher-ups in the sheriff’s department felt it was too “inflammatory” to release and would merely serve to incite “Jewish hatred,” TMZ said.

Reached for comment on TMZ’s report last night, Deputy Moore said the department would neither deny nor confirm its content. He could offer no explanation for why Mee’s report was withheld from reporters.

I’ve come to the conclusion that if someone makes a grand display of their piety that the chances are very strong that they are a deeply immoral and disturbed individual.

Of course, Jesus said the same thing:

1 “Be careful that you don’t do your charitable giving before men, to be seen by them, or else you have no reward from your Father who is in heaven.

2 Therefore when you do merciful deeds, don’t sound a trumpet before yourself, as the hypocrites do in the synagogues and in the streets, that they may get glory from men. Most certainly I tell you, they have received their reward.

3 But when you do merciful deeds, don’t let your left hand know what your right hand does,

4 so that your merciful deeds may be in secret, then your Father who sees in secret will reward you openly.

5 “When you pray, you shall not be as the hypocrites, for they love to stand and pray in the synagogues and in the corners of the streets, that they may be seen by men. Most certainly, I tell you, they have received their reward.

6 But you, when you pray, enter into your inner chamber, and having shut your door, pray to your Father who is in secret, and your Father who sees in secret will reward you openly.

7 In praying, don’t use vain repetitions, as the Gentiles do; for they think that they will be heard for their much speaking.

8 Therefore don’t be like them, for your Father knows what things you need, before you ask him.

9 Pray like this:’Our Father in heaven, may your name be kept holy.

10 Let your Kingdom come. Let your will be done, as in heaven, so on earth.

11 Give us today our daily bread.

12 Forgive us our debts, as we also forgive our debtors.

13 Bring us not into temptation, but deliver us from the evil one. For yours is the Kingdom, the power, and the glory forever. Amen.’

14 “For if you forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you.

15 But if you don’t forgive men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.

16 “Moreover when you fast, don’t be like the hypocrites, with sad faces. For they disfigure their faces, that they may be seen by men to be fasting. Most certainly I tell you, they have received their reward.