Okay, let’s have some fun and blow off some steam. We can only make predictions for so long. My predictions are in: 30-36 house seats and a 50-50 Senate with a recount mess in Missouri. We’ll see if I am Nostradamus or Nostradumbest. Rather than focus on that tonight, let’s focus on whose concession speeches we would most like to see. I have a top ten:
1) Rick Santorum- He’s my Senator. He considers homosexuality to be morally equivalent to bestiality. He went to visit Terri Schiavo. He doesn’t even live in the state but makes us pay to home school his kids. I don’t hate a lot of people, but I come pretty close to hating Rick Santorum. He’s the number three ranking member of the Senate and he would be slated for the number two spot if he won. I don’t much care about his opponent. I am very much looking forward to watching Little Ricky say ‘goodbye’ to Pennsylvanians though. I hope that he gets beat so badly that it wipes the smirks right off both his and George Bush’s faces.
2) George Allen- This race is still a squeaker. Allen was hoping to use it as a launching pad for his 2008 Presidential campaign. Instead, his reputation has been utterly destroyed. If nothing else, he will not be running for President. Allen has been exposed as an old school racist and a major jerk. It will be sweet justice if he loses.
3. Katherine Harris and Kenneth Blackwell. I lump these two together because I hold them more responsible for the last six years than any other two individuals. I am very much hoping that the cable news channels carry their concession speeches.
4. Heather Wilson of New Mexico.
Nuff said.
5. J.D. Hayworth of Arizona. J.D. is a former shockjock, a major mediawhore, a liar, and an overall corrupt bastard. No one deserves their comeuppance any more than Hayworth.
6. Richard Pombo of California. Pombo is the Chairman of the House Resources committee and perhaps the biggest enemy of the environment not named Dick. Oh wait!! He is named Dick.
7. Marilyn Musgrave of Colorado, who literally thinks gays are a bigger threat than terrorists. Get her outta here.
8. Mean Jean Schmidt of Ohio. She called John Murtha a coward on the House floor and had to ask that her remarks be stricken from the record. I have nothing but contempt for her.
9. Barbara Cubin of Wyoming. She told her bed-ridden Libertarian opponent that he should be smacked in the mouth. She holds Dick Cheney’s old seat and that is all the symbolism I need to include this race.
10. Mike Fitzpatrick of Pennsylvania. Because I plan on being at Patrick Murphy’s headquarters and it will ruin my whole evening if Fitzpatrick wins.
What’s your top ten? You can do a list of who you want to win too.
I just want to add an honorable mention for Dennis Hastert. If he loses I may float all the way home.