As many as 23 dead While Protecting Head War Criminal Cheney

Arthur Gilroy

18 years ago

From the NY Times. (I know…NEWSTRIKE!!! and all that. But when I want the upper class, PermaGov spin on a story, I know exactly where to go. I head straight down into the depths of the CIA-controlled press. And they ALWAYS “misspeak”. Those forked tongues are just SO hard to use efficiently.)

A suicide bomber blew himself up this morning outside the main gate of the United States military base at Bagram while Vice President Dick Cheney was inside the base. Mr. Cheney was not hurt in the attack.

Translation: As usual, Cheney was nowhere near any explosions. Unless of course it is he pulling the trigger.

A few more translations are in order. See below.

Yousef Ahmadi, who claimed to be a Taliban spokesman, told the Associated Press: “We knew that Dick Cheney would be staying inside the base.” He said the bombing was carried out by Mullah Abdul Rahim.

The claim could not immediately be verified.

The attack took place in a region of Afghanistan where the Taliban is thought to have very little support, and suicide bombings have been uncommon there. Such bombings, especially against high-security targets like the air base, usually involve substantial planning and preparation, and would be difficult to improvise quickly. Mr. Cheney’s presence on the base today was not scheduled and could not have been known before Monday night.

Hmmmm…

” …difficult to improvise quickly”, eh?

“Mr. Cheney’s presence on the base today was not scheduled?”

Hmmmm…

I wonder.

Who COULD have known about his schedule?

Hmmm…

Could it be…

SATAN!!!???

No…he’s still not in the need to know circle. When it comes right down to it, they are not entirely sure on which side he really fights. He MAY even be playing both ends against the middle. I mean…we all know how well US security operations work. Hush hush and all that. Bush still doesn’t know about 9/11, for instance. Now THAT’s some security work!!!

The Taliban? Al Queda?

Look!!! Look!!! De plane, de plane!!! Come out of the cave, Osama!!!

It says “DICK CHENEY” in big letters all over it. Why…you can read it from the ground as it passes overhead. High, high in the sky. How do dey DO dat, I wonder!!!???

Osama: LET’S GO BOMB THE GATE OF THE HEAVILY FORTIFIED MILITARY BASE WHERE WHERE HE WILL BE STAYING!!! Kill a coupla U.S. soldiers and a bunch of hard working Muslims. Maybe we’ll get lucky and Cheney will be hanging out with the enlisted grunts at the gate, sharing a spliff. Yeah. THAT’S the ticket!!! Mullah Rahim…it’s your turn in the barrel. Go suit up.”

Nooo…THAT doesn’t wash.

Allah appearing in a dream to bin Laden a few weeks ago?

O Chosen One. Cheney will be at the Bagram base in a few weeks. Go fail to kill him. It’ll be good for publicity.

Naaahhh…i don’t think that’s how Allah works.

Could it be…

Possibly…

How about…

Elements in the U.S. Government?

Hmmm…

Speaking to reporters traveling him aboard Air Force Two on the way to Muscat, the capital of Oman, Mr. Cheney said that he was in his quarters at the airbase when the explosion took place.

“I heard a loud boom,” he said, according to a pool report. “The Secret Service came in and told me there had been an attack on the main gate.”

Ah HA!!!

Caught in yet another lie!!!

Was he in his quarters or in the pool??

Inquiring minds want to know.

Oh.

Not THAT kind of pool?

Nevermind.

An initial report from the American military in Afghanistan said that four people died in the explosion, including the suicide bomber, and NATO said that three people were killed, including an American soldier and a coalition soldier.

But an Afghan guard at the base said that he counted as many as 15 dead at the scene, including three American soldiers, and that 12 others were wounded. Later news agency reports put the death toll as high as 23.

Cheney’s probable inner response?

“Incidental losses. Sorry. But I AM pretty important.” Vice President in charge, Richard “Big Dick” Cheney.

Yup.

In Pakistan Mr. Cheney delivered a stiff private message to President Pervez Musharraf that his government had not made adequate efforts to combat Al Qaeda and the Taliban.

A stiff “message”, eh?

Bend over, you tinhorn dictator asshole motherfucker. I’VE got yer message, right HERE!!!

Musharraf’s response?

OUCH!!!

Sir.

You can’t make this shit up.

But…as has been the proven case for at least five decades…the NY Times certainly can.

Where would we be without them?

Certainly not in Iraq, for starters. Thank you SO much, Ms. Miller and your…your “sponsors”.

The 700,000 dead salute you.

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