I just read Booman’s bloggerazzi diary and the long string of comments. I fear something is happening here and what it is may be very destructive of what I once found here. And it is symtomatic of what is wrong with America.
Here’s something I wrote in Booman last June.
Re: Censorship and Dkos (none / 0)
I want to do two things in this comment. Suck up to Booman and offer an idea about the “censorship” on DKos.
First: sucking up. I started out in the blogosphere as someone making comments and writing pretty much unread diaries on Dkos. It was fun to read the few comments about my diaries, and to make comments on other diaries. I discovered the frog pond through DKos and so I started doing the same thing here: writing and reading diaries and comments. And then something wonderful happened, I started to see and feel an actual sense of community in the frog pond. People could still be obtuse or off-putting or out in left field (and so could I) but there was and is a sense on Booman that whatever it is that keeps us participating here is more important that the opinions we express.
Perhaps all of us should keep in mind that human beings are much more than their political opinions, and while political opinions are very important because they have consequences, they are only a small part of who we all are. What we share as human beings who experience reality is far broader than our opinions. I think when we forget this, we end up with the kind of crap described in Booman’s diary and that has also happened to too many others.
Is it naive to want to have a forum where opinions are vehemently expressed and defended but where we respect one anothers’ experiences and shared humanity? Is it too “preachy” to even say this?
On the other hand, I actually don’t give a shit about the personal stuff of people who write and comment here. One of the great attributes of this blog is the opportunity to write and comment and stay focused on what we think about what we should do. So I get a little bewildered with the vituperation. Maybe it’s because I’ve never met any of the rest of this collection of frogs in person. Maybe it’s because I don’t do this for a living. But for whatever reason, I think I will miss what was once here. Can we get it back? Don’t know.
Is it naive to want to have a forum where opinions are vehemently expressed and defended but where we respect one anothers’ experiences and shared humanity? Is it too “preachy” to even say this?
Yes, and no. People unfortunately have a tendency to find fault with each other, and to take offense easily on the internet. It’s a long documented phenomenon. However, I do believe that your dream/goal is not an unreasonable one. However, it takes commitment from all those who participate on a regular basis. It also takes giving people the benefit of the doubt and not lashing back when someone gets personal and offends you, but making the effort to reach out and say to them:
Because as often as not, revealing your own humanity, showing your own vulnerability, rather than armoring yourself in self righteous anger, is the best way to deal with a personal attack. It disarms the attacker and forces him or her to deal with you as a real human being, not just some faceless adversary at a keyboard. When our basic humanity is ignored, or hidden from view, it is easier to attack others and react to attacks with more of the same anger and vitriol.
It’s a tactic we all learned as children, when we would always put our needs and desires at the center of our own little universe, one where we lacked the ability to empathize with the other kid who had crossed our path. But as adults, most of us have learned to approach others as people deserving respect as much as we ourselves do. We display empathy because we recognize the similarities between ourselves and others.
The internet makes it a little more difficult to remember this lesson, because of the lack of a direct physical presence so essential to evaluating another individual’s character and mood. But if we are willing to work at it, by monitoring how we interact, and by making the effort to put the values of respect and dignity first, I believe we can succeed far more often than we fail.
I don’t claim that this would be easy to accomplish, but I do believe that we can overcome our prejudices, and our anger and our insecurities if we take the time practice this approach. It may feel as if you are exposing too much of yourself, but in the end unless we are willing to remind the people we interact on the web with that we are human beings with feelings and motivations and troubles just like theirs, we will never break out of the cycle of verbal violence and conflict.
That’s my weird thought for the day.
To me, the rule “don`t be a prick” is the only one that hasn`t been followed by some people. When there is only one rule & people can`t
even follow a very simple concept, I have no reason to communicate with them. What anybody else thinks of me, is none of my business. I heard that last line somewhere recently, & realized I`d been following that advice for years, with a possible few exceptions, but always with the hope of not being misunderstood as a “prick”.
Agree. The “don’t be a prick” rule is just a crude restatement of the “Golden Rule” that is common in just about every religious and ethical tradition.
I do respectfully suggest: maybe time for you to change your sig. <g>
Do you think he`s gone for good? After seeing him on the “Daily Show” I`d think so.
The search for a new one has now begun. I had been thinking about it, but your reminder is enough motivation now. Thanks
Oh man, his Daily Show appearance was priceless wasn’t it….and it makes you wonder why the bum isn’t in a straight jacket somewhere.
it is disparaging to see this meta invade BT, and in some respects, equally disappointing to see the site proprietor engaged in making it a front page issue. I understand the desire to defend and clarify the falsehoods that are out there, but I cannot fathom, nor understand, the rationale behind such a maneuver.
personally, I think it’s all BS….BT is, at the end of the day, a forum for expressing opinion. that people are going to abuse the opportunity presented to them, for whatever goal they may embrace, is a given.
the don’t be a prick rule is, to my mind, as clear a definition as should required, and like Head above, those who refuse to acknowledge and respect it are not worth a great deal of time and trouble on my part.
we, ie: BT, have lost a lot of intelligent and passionate voices due to these internecine squabbles. subsequently, my participation is becoming limited to those areas that I’m personally interested/involved in…the rest of it is, frankly, off putting, and has led me, personally, to re-evaluate my impressions/opinions of many of those who engage in such counter-productive activities.
it is a personal decision to engage in behaviour that may, or may not, be in keeping with the root purpose/spirit of the site, but frankly, perhaps it’s time for people to exercise some restraint, step back from the anger at hand, and take responsibility for their words and actions.
perhaps the real message in all of this is that you should edit yourself, in the interest of self-preservation.
call it an act of conscience, or whatever…somethings are best left unsaid.
watch this
…maybe, just maybe, it’ll make some sense….I am not optimistic.
h/t to Betsy Angert.
dada, best comedic, but true, line in the flick.
“Everybody needs help; if you think you don`t need help, go cut your own hair.”