It had to be said.

And as a Canadian, I have to apologize on behalf of this unfunny man who originated from my country.  You suck, Mr. Little.  And you embarrassed my country with your witless performance last night.

I especially loathe your disingenuity by telling us before and during your silly shtick that “you’re not a political satirist” (a la Colbert).  You see, Mr. Little, I would argue that you ARE indeed political in what you touch and what you don’t touch.

You ARE as political as the American network news who’s bias never gives time to the flag draped coffins of 3,000 American servicemen and women returning home from a blood-drenched Iraq.  You ARE as political as this sycophantic media who would rather chat endlessly about tragedies involving rich white people — but not the 700,000 brown people who have been slaughtered with the help of the government you cozied with last night.

Oh, and this proves my point somewhat, too…

So is he a Republican?

“No, I’m a Canadian,” [Rich Little] cracks, then adds: “I’m a Conservative.”

So, he’s a conservative.  Got that, people?!

Let’s stare the truth right in the eye, shall we?

Rich Little was NOT hired due to his “soft” approach to “humour”.  Rich Little was hired because he is a “conservative”.

In case you had forgotten…

Little said organizers of the event made it clear they don’t want a repeat of last year’s controversial appearance by Stephen Colbert, whose searing satire of President Bush and the White House press corps fell flat and apparently touched too many nerves. [TRANSLATION: It hit the truth so hard that millions of Americans downloaded this brilliant performance on YouTube for weeks afterwards]

“They got a lot of letters,” Little said Tuesday. “I won’t even mention the word ‘Iraq.'”

Little, who hasn’t been to the White House since he was a favorite of the Reagan administration, said he’ll stick with his usual schtick — the impersonations of the past six presidents.

“They don’t want anyone knocking the president. He’s really over the coals right now, and he’s worried about his legacy,” added Little, a longtime Las Vegas resident.

So, here’s CONSERVATIVE Rich Little to the rescue!  Good entertainment — and the truth — be damned!!

And listen to how the president of the WHCD contradicts himself in one fell swoop after he talks about this being an exhibition in the first ammendment rights…

Steve Scully, president of the press association, said the event is “a celebration of the first amendment,” referring to the right of free speech.

“The purpose of this dinner is to bring together sources. There’s one toast to the president; you’re toasting the institution,” he said.

“But you can’t invite a president and turn him into a political pinata. That’s just not the purpose.”

My advice to [Little’s agency] when we booked [him] in December was to follow the time-honored Washington motto [of] the Gridiron Dinner: ‘Singe, but never burn.’ “

He was referring to Steven Colbert directly.

So, if you want to tell us that this is a Republican safe “joke”-fest from now on with only entertainers allowed who support the president — fine.  But don’t spoon-feed us this load of crapola that the WHCD doesn’t like the event being “too controversial”.  30% of Americans support Chuckle-nuts, for chrissakes!  

And here’s a sample of Little’s “apolitical” performance:

So Mr. Bin Laden, please take note — you take a moment from humping that goat.  We think you’re wrong, you think you’re right.  I think your turbin is tied too tight.  We let our women show their face, and they make this world a better place.  So, we’ll find you on that mountain pass.  We’ll hunt you down.  We’ll kick your ass.

Yeah. Quite a “singe” Mr. Little.  I remember hearing the President chuckling loudly with his, “heh, heh” petulant schoolboy laugh quite a few times in your singe-fest.

In fact, Mr. Little, it seems that you are quite honoured to have been the entertainer for Mr. Bush a year before at the Presidential inaugauration ceremony, seeing this posted at your website

Non-political, indeed.

But the bullshit continues:

“No one ever put restrictions on what I can do or say,” Little said. “I wouldn’t mention Iraq because there’s nothing funny about it.”

And from the end of his corporate media style performance…

It’s good to laugh. I know we’re going through a troubled times right now, but ya gotta laugh and ya gotta take your mind off of things that are going on.  So, if I made you laugh or smile for the last half hour, it was all worthwhile.


TRANSLATION:

It’s good not to laugh at how much of a miserable world-class failure this president and his administration has been.  We’re going through tough times right now caused by others, but you gotta laugh at others and not direct the humour at the real truth of the matter — much like the corporate media (and unlike people like Stephen Colbert and Jon Stewart).  So, if I made you forget about how much of a supreme clusterfuck this president has been to the world for the last half hour, it was all worthwhile because I received 5 figures for whoring for this administration.

Oh, and I didn’t think those Canadian jokes were particularly funny at the beginning of your shtick, either.  Helping your family immigrate from Canada?  Canadians taking Mexican jobs in the U.S.?  WTF!!!

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