Attorney General Gonzales arrives for a review of war crimes trials at Guantanamo Bay
Guantanamo Bay, Cuba (Rotters) – An angry Alberto Gonzales flew overnight to Guantanamo Bay Cuba in an apparent effort to stave off disaster for the Bush administration after yesterday’s dismissal of charges against two detainees by two military judges. Charges were dismissed against the two prisoners over what appears to be a technicality in the failure of last fall’s hastily prepared Republican legislation passed by Congress to address a Supreme Court ruling over the legality of the administration’s ability to prosecute detainees in Guantanamo Bay.
The ruling judges yesterday tossed out the cases against two alleged Al Qaeda terrorists, stating that the government had failed to specify whether the two were “unlawful” combatants.
A spokesperson for Gonzales stated that the Justice Department would be looking into the feasibility of pursuing charges against the two military judges in question.
Duke University legal scholar Madeline Morris stated that the problems arose as a result of the poorly written law passed late last year. “It was rushed through in a flurry of political pressure from the White House … and it is quite riddled with internal contradictions and anomalies.”she stated.
Gonzalez, speaking to reporters outside of Camp Delta, insisted that the law had no major flaws and denied any hand in the original drafting of the legislation. Gonzalez has been swamped by a storm of controversy and charges of incompetence in the ongoing investigation into the controversial firing of United States attorneys for what appears to be political reasons.
“There is no technical loophole here,” insisted an angry Gonzalez. “This entire group of prisoners were long ago lawfully declared “unlawful” by the president, as is his right during times of war. If the two judges in question cannot see this, the White House will do everything in its power to help them do so. The military serves at the pleasure of the president.”
Gonzalez bristled at questions from reporters asking if this situation in which terrorists might go free was not further evidence of his own incompetence.
“Mistakes have been made,” stated Gonzalez , “and we are correcting them. The American public needs to understand that there is no there, there. If there were, there is no reason that we wouldn’t go there.”