Progress Pond

Did you dream of Hillary or Barack last night?

Whether you did or didn’t, you have to check out http://www.idreamofhillaryidreamofbarack.com/.

A novelist is collecting people’s dreams of Hillary and Barack and they range from the weird to the hilarious! Check these out:

Keanu Reeves was voted in as the next President of the United States. He was giving his acceptance speech, dressed in jeans and a hoodie. He looked good, but we were all shocked. How did he win? Did we even know he was running? I set about urgently painting him a sign, twelve metres long, with a too-dry paint brush, reminding him of all the things he had to remember: Prioritize education. Provide medicare. Cap corporate profits. The environment! There were two brief interruptions as we fielded interviewed reactions from Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama. They were both equally stumped. They didn’t know he was running, but were gracious losers.

More samples below the fold.

I was back in College. Barack was a professor. It was Thanksgiving weekend, and Barack was organizing an Orphan’s Thanksgiving for all of us who had no where else to go. It became a really huge production. People were abandoning their plans with their families in order to go to Barack’s house. I was put in charge of writing thank-you notes and baking the pies (I had explained to Barack how my family always made key lime pie for Thanksgiving). Over dinner, Barack described Illyrian architecture. When I woke, I wondered, Is there such a thing as Illyrian architecture?

A couple about Hillary:

I had a dream where Hillary Clinton and I got into a screaming fight. There were two parts to the dream. The first involved my irritating her by asking her an unscripted question at a public appearance. The second involved me dancing at some sort of club upstairs from the arena at which she spoke. I was wearing a metallic necklace, either copper or brass or gold, or some alloy of these. Hillary showed up and kept staring at it. This made me extremely angry and I finally told her off for being so rude.

I had a dream last night that Hillary was about to give a concession speech. Supporters in the audience could tell what was coming because her voice began choking up. Everybody became very upset in an almost biblical way – shouting, tearing their clothes. Those guys who use the lighted wands to direct aircraft on the ground came on stage to try to calm the crowds – to no avail.

Check it out and then submit your own, if you have any.

Not all of them are funny. Some are a bit scary and I’m not going to repeat them. Others are somewhat normal, but interesting.

This one is my favorite so far:

I went to Washington to meet Barack. He was running around and I kept having to run to catch up with him. I was going up to people and telling them who he was – that he was running for president, and just all the great things about him.

But I was not doing a good job. I would stutter and lose my train of thought. People weren’t listening to me. I was so frustrated! These people were walking right past him and they didn’t know that he was the most amazing man in the world!

Barack and I ended up in his small office. It was inside a classroom where advanced math was being taught. We talked for some time and I explained that I am not a good speaker – that I have problems conveying my thoughts accurately. He told me to talk to one of his staff who would help me.

Then I asked Barack why he had allowed me into his office and he said it was because of my “letter.” Apparently I had written him a letter. Well, he had to run off again, this time to the Library to Congress to return a copy of the Constitution that dated back to the 1700s.

I began going up to people in the street, and talking to them, trying to tell them who Barack Obama was, but I was no better than I had been in the beginning.

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